Stalemate // The Queens Gambit //Benny Watts x OC

Thirty five: Fixing Things

    I laid in bed almost the entire next morning, just thinking. I couldn't get my conversation with Benny out of my mind and it was driving me crazy. I had been trying to call him but every time I did, he either didn't answer or sounded drunk and made up some excuse on why he couldn't talk. I guess what I said really got to him.

I finally ripped the covers off and hopped out of bed, determined to fix things.

Benny said he had tournaments over the next few weeks, and I figured if I could just get to at least one, corner him somewhere, we could talk about this like rational adults. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number of the chess federation, praying they would give me some information.

"Hello, you've reached the United States chess federation, how may I help you?" A woman with a bored voice finally picked up.

"Hello, I was wondering if you could give some information about a player, Benny Watts. He's playing a few tournaments over the next three weeks and I was wondering where those would be and what hotel he'll be staying at."

"Can't you just look at the chess magazines or whatever?" I could tell this woman did not care much about her job.

"No, that would take too long to find out, I have to know before the issue gets published."

She sighed as if this were the hardest and most exhausting conversation she'd ever had. "He will be playing in Louisville Kentucky the second and fourth, Jefferson City Missouri the sixth and seventh, and Shreveport Louisiana the eleventh and twelfth. Then he's flying to South America but You'll have to talk to them about that."

"Okay. And the hotels?"

"I'm sorry ma'am, we cant disclose any personal information about the players and where they will be staying."

"Please? It's an emergency, I'm a friend."

"Again, we cannot-"

"Fine, how about where the tournaments will be held, then?"

I got that out of her and quickly wrote down all the names she listed off. It may seem a little stalker-ish but I had to fix this and this was the only way I knew how. I called the nearest and nicest hotels I figured he'd be staying at and made reservations, then called the airport and got tickets, and when everything was settled, I called Beth. We had exchanged numbers before she left Benny's the night I went over with Macy.

"Hello?" She said upon answering.

"Hello, Beth Harmon? This is Adelaide Carlisle, we met at Benny's apartment last month?"

"Oh yes, of course. How are you, Adelaide?"

"I'm- managing. How are you?"

"I'm doing good, thank you. And how's Benny?"

"Well.. I'm not exactly sure. Speaking of which, I'm going to be in Louisville for a few days, I'll be arriving the first, I was wondering if you wanted to get some coffee or something while I'm there? I'd come to you if you don't think you can make it to Louisville."

"Sure, that sounds great. I don't mind coming to you, I actually have a few chess matches in Louisville the third and fourth. I believe Benny does too. Is that why you're going?"

"Basically, yes. So how about we meet at, say, four thirty on the second?"

"Sure, I'll look forward to it."

"Me too. See you then."

Once I hung up, I slumped against the wall, tired out from all the talking and planning I just had to do. This was going to work. I would talk to Beth about it, get some advice, watch Benny and Beth play, then confront benny and fix all this.

***

October 1st, 1968, 10:43 am

I frantically ran through the airport, trying to get to my gate before it closed. I saw the last person walk past the man at the gate and just as it was about to close, I practically threw my ticket at him, but made it. He waved me along and I quickly boarded the plane and settled into my seat next to an old man who was already sleeping.

I had been on plenty of planes before, but this time I felt more nervous than usual. I shook off the nerves and opened my book. Fahrenheit 451. It made me think of Benny and I started to feel sad, but suddenly, I regretted everything.

Why was I doing this? I bought plane tickets, booked a hotel, and made plans with someone I hadn't talked to in over a month just to track down some guy there on business, all to tell him- what exactly? That I was sorry? That I thought he was being immature and dramatic? That I shared his feelings and wished we could move past everything? I couldn't say any of that. So why did I do this?

Just as I was about to get out of my seat and call off the whole thing, the captain's voice came in over the intercom, telling everyone to check their straps and prepare for take off. I sucked in a breath, nervous and embarrassed and filled with regret, and closed my eyes. I tried to just focus on the good things that would happen. I would get to see Kentucky, reconnect with Beth, see Benny and Beth play-

I stopped. I realized- I was going back to a chess tournament. I hadn't remembered until now that this would be the first time since 1965 that I was returning to an actual chess event. The nerves only got worse at this epiphany and I had to force myself to take deep breaths. I managed to not have a panic attack next to the poor sleeping old man, and thought about it again from a less paranoid perspective.

I'm sure everything will turn out fine, the worst that could happen is someone recognizes you or Benny doesn't accept your apology. If this does happen, just come home and forget about it. Go back to your old life. At least it was safe and free of drama with the exception of Macy.

But did I want that? Over the past few months, my life has completely turned upside down, and I think it was for the better. I'm closer with my friends, I've gained so many new ones, had so many different and new experiences, and they were all amazing. I dont regret a single one. So why should I regret this one even if it is a little more on the crazy side? I don't. And I wouldn't. This would work.

Just as I decided this, I fell asleep. The mental wok of affirmations was draining.