Rosalie had to leave Monaco, after having her heartbroken and her youth taken by an unplanned baby, the city felt too small.
Years later, Rosalie is back with a content attitude and a childish four year old. She finally shows back up to a formula on...
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I force my eyes to look out at the view in front of me. Ignoring the way Charles moves around in his seat anxiously.
The walk back to mine and Louisa's apartment was shorter than I hoped for, I'm still happy Charles agreed to do this in privacy of this apartment.
Charles clears his throat and I finally turn to him, to where we're now sitting across from each other.
"Charles..." I surprise myself by speaking first, though that's all I can really say. I have no idea what's going through his head at the moment and I can't blame him for anything he's thinking.
Any curses he's mentally throwing my way? I deserve them and more.
"Is she mine or someone else's?" He ask lowly and looks down to his fumbling hands.
My eyes widen and I'm at a lost for words. He doesn't think I cheated on him? And he can't possibly think I'd move on that quickly?
"No, no, Charles I could never-" I change my words when I hear how they sound, "she's yours" I say simply while I look down at my own shaky hands, swallowing back the words I wanted to say.
Though said simply, the words still feel heavy on my tongue even after I've said them. He sighs and looks up, my heart cracks at the glossy coat of his green eyes.
He runs a hand over his face and again looks away from me.
I lean back into my chair, wishing it would swallow me while and take me away from this conversation. I shift the pendant he gave me through my fingers without thinking, I knew I should've taken it off and thrown it into my jewelry box never to be seen after he saw it at the race, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was the first thing he gave me when we first started dating.
"Why... why didn't you tell me?" He asks quietly, his eyes still trained on his shoes.
I take a sharp intake of air, I knew he'd ask this and still I feel unprepared.
I move around in my chair uneasily, my throat feels dry but I still force myself to say, "Well I was about to and then you broke up with me" i don't mean to but venom and hurt laces the stinging words.
He closes his eyes and I start to feel bad for my comment. He again rubs a hand down his face before looking up at me.
"still why didn't you- I would've-" he starts to say but I shake my head. I cut him off and say, "would it have changed anything?"
"Of course it would've" he says.
"that's why I didn't", i say honestly as emotions start to fill my eyes and close my throat up, "I didn't want to have to use me getting pregnant to make you stay. You wanted to leave so I let you"
"Rosie-" he says my name in a way that makes me want to crumble, his green eyes are as glossy as I imagine mine are. I shake my head almost as soon as he's said the words.
"I wanted you to want me for me, not because I was carrying your kid" I croaked out- emotions filling my words as well as my eye- and mentally curse myself when I feel a salty tear drop hit my lip. I quickly wipe it away and look away from Charles' gaze.
We're both silent as we let my words hang in the air. My heart beats in my chest quickly, each time it hits against my chest it feels as if it takes a little more air.
I'm left begging for air to fill my lungs.
More tears fall down my cheeks as I hear Millie giggle from inside. I don't wipe them away this time, my shaking hands feels too heavy to lift.
"breaking up with you was the worst mistake I ever made." He says.
I bite my wobbly bottom lip to keep it from quivering even more than it is already, I turn towards him finally. "Charles-"
"no it was," he cuts me off and picks up his chair to move it closer to mine, "and I've regretted it even after I walked out of the door"
"why didn't you turn around and fix it?" I asks sadly and look in his eyes, he's crying too now. With reddening eyes, tears fall down his tan skin- again it hurts more than it should knowing I'm partly to blame for those tears.
"I was scared, scared of what we'd become if I had traveled too much," he says and he reaches out to hold my hands gently in his, "you deserved better than me" he says softly, his eyes focused on his hands that hold mine.
I focus on our hands too, the warmth his hands brings seems to ground my racing heart and I hate it. I hate that his touch still affect me. I hate that after all this time and pain, he's still the only person who- with just one touch- can simmer the raging storm of emotions I always seem to feel.
"no Charles," i force myself to stand up, our clasped hands falling apart as I do so, "I deserved better from you and so did Millie" he flinches from the stinging sentence. And despite the truthful words I speak, I still wanna take them back just because they hurt him.
"You were scared, but so was I. We could've helped each other" I say and start to walk away.
But before I can get far, his hand grabs hold of mine again. I stop in my place and turn to him to see another tear falling down his cheek, "can I at least say hi to her" he ask.
I nod, I grew up with a bad and absent dad and I refuse to let Millie fall victim to something I can now stop, "Charles she's your daughter, I won't stop her or you from having a relationship." I say and start to pull my hand from his, but he just holds on tighter as he stands up to stand in front of me.
"And what about us?" He questions softly.
His cloudy green eyes looking into mine, pain but also a small glimmer of hope shin in his watery eyes. I reach up to wipe a tear off my cheek as I start to shake my head.
"Charles like I said I don't know if I can-"
"please Rosie, I made a huge gigantic mistake and I've finally been given the small opportunity to fix it. Let me fix it please, let me show you I will be better for not only Masie but also you" he says and takes another step towards me. His cologne surrounds me like a warm blanket, but I don't allow it to settle.
I can't get roped in again.
"I think I need more time" I say sadly and look down at our hands. I'm having a hard time pulling away his time. His thumbs run over my knuckles gently as he holds my hands.
I finally let out a sniffle and pull my hands from his despite everything in my yearning to go back to the warmth and comfort he seems is still able to give me.
"You ready to meet your daughter?" I asks softly as I finally take a much needed step away from him.
I look up to him and see a small and nervous smile stretch across his face as he nods.
———
So this was a big moment, what are we thinking about it?
