they are now in the room
they stand in the middle
snape faces them and starts off on a tangent about apparition or whatever
(sing this to the tune of "to be a princess" from The Princess and the Pauper)
"To apparate is to know which spell to use
To apparate is a thousand ways to choose
To maintain a proper gait
Leave the wand with your mate
And be tortoise but tortoise and yet tortoise
To be a wizard is to never become a tortoise
Do a spell and never fall
Don't ever stray from protocol
All through the day there's just one way you must behave
Do keep a grip and never crack
Stiff upper lip and slay the wand
Bend from above and always never your gloves and slay
Shoulders back and
Tummy in and
Pinky out and
Lift the chin and
Slowly turn the hand from side to side
Breathing gently
Stepping lightly
Speaking clearly
Flick quickly
Never make a mistake
KACHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be a wizard is to always perform your best
To be a wizard is to always do it the first time correctly
Throw out the portrait, it sucks
No sleeping for you ever again
Speak and be not stupid, never at a loss for words
Curtsey to every witch and wizard
Learn how to do the spell now
Sing lullabies and always harmonize in thirds"
p and e stare at him with blank expressions
snape says to them "ok now do it, say kachow"
p and e stay silent
he turns around "why won't you say kachow?"
p and e continue their silent protest
snape is getting visibly annoyed
"say KACHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
p and e continue to be silent
p and e talk to each other in morse code via tapping their wands on the table
they say to each other "get a load of THIS guy"
snape starts having a tantrum, and falls to the floor, flailing his arms and legs about, saying, "SAY KACHOW SAY KACHOW SAY KACHOW, I'LL DO ANYTHING, JUST SAY KACHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"
p and e are still silent
YOU ARE READING
I have a pet turtle (and his name is Remus Lupin)
Fanfictwo kiddies who want nothing more than to not do their geography coursework go on a journey of a lifetime when a dude says he needs help. When other randos keep talking to them, will they ever get back to geography? Craig is too powerful, the huffl...
