Death Battle

Darth Vader vs Batman

Welcome to the first episode of Death Battle.

We'll start with the most overrated Child Murdering Machine, Darth Vader!

Who will face off against the most overhyped Superhero, the Billionaire Bruce Wayne (Batman).

Both of them have a quite impressive record of wins against their enemies.

Their toughest wins:

Darth Vader defeated a bunch of unarmed children who thought that he came to rescue them (he was greatly outnumbered since his clone soldiers were having a smoke break outside of the temple)

Batman was able to mop the floor with a clown that had no fighting experience at all and was just in there for the lols.

Their hardest losses:

Vader ignored his Master's warning to "don't try it" and jumped at his master (who had the High Ground and even informed Vader about it seconds before he jumped).

This led to Vader getting cut down and getting burned to a crisp while yelling at his master, telling him how much he hates him.

His master, Obi Wan (absolute Chad) was heartbroken that his former student didn't congratulate him on his win and walked away, ashamed of the lacking manners of this failure that he once called a student.

Batman has an old habit of letting Bane break his back.

No matter if it's in the movies or comics, he is never able to prevent Bane from raising him above his head and smashing him over his own knee (he does this very slowly, while Batman has absolutely NO chance of getting out of his grip).

Instead of trying to elbow him in the face or do anything to defend himself, he just hopes and prays for the best. (Hopes and Prayers aren't very effective against Bane)

This leaves us with a guy that jumped at someone having the high ground, while being warned by the guy to not do that

Against a man that would rather let another man break his back instead of fighting back.

For this battle, Batman is allowed to kill since knocking Vader out and putting him into prison wouldn't really do much.

Weapons:

When it comes to weapons we have Vader who uses his lightsaber and force powers.

His force powers are the Force Choke and the ability to push or pull people with his force (like every other Jedi or Sith, very cool)

How is a furry in a bat costume supposed to win against that? I don't know, but I'll just continue to not make the Batman Stans mad.

Batman has a huge arsenal of weapons, ranging from Batarangs (basically just blades that he throws around) to smoke bombs.

He also has a Batmobile, which is a car that can turn into a tank, interestingly it's equipped with two cannons.

One for shooting at Arkham Knight's drones and the other one for "knocking" people out.

The car is also able to run over people at high speed, but they won't die because they're getting an electroshock before he runs over them (people that are knocked out cannot die in the Batman universe)

The Batmobile is very likely to get destroyed early in the battle if Vader is the one attacking (he'll pull up in his Tie Advanced spaceship, which will most likely shred through the Batmobile)

However if Batman is the one attacking Vader, he won't even be able to bring his Batmobile to Vader's ship (since it can't fly).

He could use his Batwing to transport his car and bring it up to Vader's spaceship/Death Star, but the possibility of him getting pulverized by the Death Star's defenses is really high.

Generally, I don't think Batman has any chance of attacking Vader's fleet, without getting blown to bits by his TIE fighter boys.

(Remember, this is my book and not a Hollywood Blockbuster movie, there is no plot armor)

That's going to leave us with the only logical option, Darth Vader will ask the World Police (Uncle Sam) for the permission to attack our earth, which they will grant him (not like any county in this world would stand a chance against the Empire).

He will land on our planet and send his boys out to capture everything in their way and find Batman.

It will only be a matter of time until Vader will find the Batcave. (He will do that himself because his Stormtroopers are absolutely useless in pretty much every aspect)

But as we all know, Batman is always prepared, and turned his cave into a sandbox which weakened Vader greatly. (He really hates sand)

Before we go over to the battle, let's see the stats:

Intelligence: Batman

Battle IQ: Batman

Speed: Batman (Vader is really lame in his suit)

Stamina: Batman

Strength: Vader

Agility: Batman

Feats: Vader

Durability: Vader

Experience: Batman (fighting crime since 1939)

Power: Vader

Abilities: Vader

Hax: Vader

Batman: 6

Vader: 6

The Battle:

Vader managed to shove his Sand PTSD aside and focus on his opponent, but Batman was prepared as always and activated a trap door above Vader, which released a bunch of water on him.

Batman's plan was to break Vader's suit with water, too bad he didn't know that Vader's suit is weatherproof and isolates him from external environmental conditions.

The Batmobile pulled up to shoot the overrated space swordsman, but got pushed away by his force push.

Batman used his Batarangs, which did pretty much no damage to Vader.

Angered by that little bat cosplayer, Vader force choked him and pulled him closer to himself before throwing his lightsaber and cutting the bat in two.

Yeah, that's it. Batman really doesn't stand a chance against Vader.

Child Killer wins no diff.

Thanks for reading and make sure to write your suggestions for future battles down in the comments.