Death Battle

Rookie & Veronica Dare vs Ashley Williams & Kaidan Alenko

Welcome to the third episode of Death Battle and oh boy today we have a lot to unpack.

One overrated franchise will crash against the other in a requested 2 on 2.

While Halo would be considered the better franchise, it's an Xbox exclusive and therefore useless and unplayable for the biggest part of the population (good to know most people still have enough common sense to pick Playstation over Xbox)

Since they are all nothing without their armies, we will have one fleet fight against the other (with some good old ground fighting involved).

Let's not waste more time and look into the characters of this Toy Space Marines vs Star Trek knockoff episode.

Rookie is the first character and what stands out the most is that he is one of many completely silent and bland characters (very interesting and original)

"He doesn't say much, but I don't care. I just need him to listen." - GYSGT Edward Buck.

Yes, because a mute soldier that has no way of communicating with his comrades or superiors is truly effective during combat missions and other operations...

He is serving with the 105th Shock Troops Division at New Jerusalem and fought in the Battle of Earth (bombing Old Palestine to pieces, probably)

He will be accompanied by another bland and uninteresting character from the Xbox Halo Universe, Veronica Dare.

She is an intelligence officer in Section One of the Office of Naval Intelligence (the Navy is so desperate, they need someone like Mrs. Truth or Dare to take the role of their intelligence officer)

She commanded Alpha Nine during the Battle of Earth (don't let a woman command your boys, it will go very wrong, trust me)

Time to look at the side of...huh almost the same damn thing as the first side of this battle.

We'll start with Ashley Williams who is a party member (and by that I mean a squadmate, someone like her would never get invited to actual parties, and she shouldn't), in the first and third games of the series (she wasn't allowed to be in Mass Effect 2, since that's actually a good game and good games don't need useless characters)

There is a possibility of her making a cameo appearance in the second game, if the player saved her instead of Kaidan Alenko (I don't even know who I would recommend to choose, they can both die as far as I'm concerned)

Her characterization (which is the only cool thing about her) has received negative backlash from the liberal beta community, for being too religious and having intolerant views towards other alien species (are humans supposed to be best friends with aliens now? I don't think so)

Her partner in this rather unfair battle to the death, will be Al Kaed- whoops, sorry, wrong name, Kaidan Alenko, that's the right one.

This useless puppet is nothing more than the male version of Ashley, he is a squadmate in the first and third game just like her.

His most important role in the first game was to be a heterosexual love interest for a female Shepard, but he eventually gave in to the propaganda of the New World Order and became bisexual in the third game.

This mostly attracted praise by the Mass Effect community, as expected (the players can't wait to fuck a man apparently)

Now that we're through with the introduction, we can move on to their fights, which I will not mention because they got carried by their team most of the time (the Mass Effect folks would be nothing without Shepard, just like the Halo Universe without Master Chef Cook)

Rookie will be compared to Kaiden, while Dare will face off against Ash Williams (I'm still talking about the boring Mass Effect Ash, not the cool one from Evil Dead)

Rookie vs Kaiden

Intelligence: Rookie (both aren't the brightest, but at least Rookie can make four steps without being told to do so by Shepard)

Battle IQ:  Rookie (same reason honestly)

Speed: Kaiden (my boy will disappear faster than light if Shepard leaves the game)

Stamina: Kaiden (gotta have that stamina to rush and complete every order Daddy/Mommy Shepard gives him)

Strength: Rookie

Agility: Rookie

Feats: Rookie

Durability: Kaiden (can be revived by Shepard and come back with 30% health and 50% shields)

Experience: Rookie

Power: Rookie

Abilities: Kaiden

Hax: I don't think either one of them has abilities that can be considered broken, so this point goes to neither of them.

Rookie: 7

Kaiden: 4

Vero vs Ash

Intelligence: Vero (She's an "intelligence" officer after all)

Battle IQ: Ash (Vero is in the Navy, how effective could she be in combat?)

Speed: Ash

Stamina: Ash

Strength: Ash

Agility: Ash

Feats: Vero

Durability: Ash

Experience: Vero

Power: Ash

Abilities: Ash

Hax: None, just like with the boys above

Vero: 3

Ash: 8

This might seem like Ashy Slashy is going to stomp Vero, but keep in mind that Vero has Alpha-Nine under her command, it's very unlikely that Ash would catch Vero alone.

The Battle:

Both franchises were scared to eventually become irrelevant and completely forgotten (I wouldn't cry if they did), and chose to go out with one last big bang.

They chose earth as the location for the ground battle while their fleets were taking on each other in space.

Spoiler alert: The fleet of the Alliance got their shit absolutely rocked, while the fighting was still continuing on the ground.

The UNSC then proceeded to bomb everything on the ground (no matter if they're friend or foe) just like their overpowered predecessor (USA) from the past used to do.

Everyone on the ground was killed, some by enemy fire, others by friendly fire (this friendly fire made Rainbow Six Siege look like a joke)

The UNSC won this fight by greatly overdoing it and crushing everything in their way.

Rookie and Vero (UNSC) win low dif

Next episode will be Kratos vs Vergil, but feel free to leave suggestions as always.