Show resurrection (Generation loss+ oc)

Chapter 9: Am I still me?

TW: DEpiction of violence( least to say), panic attack 

As they walked the 2 were left behind the group and Raven stopped completely when she heard her voice on a tv. She came closer and the others noticed and followed her.

It was her being close with Nikki, her hand was placed on Nikki's waist as they were talking to someone. But something caught her attention. Her hair was dyed pink with the roots still black, she dyed it 6 months ago. When she was supposed to be free. It went back to black 2 months ago so this wasn't recent. It was 6 months ago.

"What the fuck.." She said mostly to herself.

"Yeah,um," Nikki said, " After my first weeks we were put together as a love team to be more 'diverse' which is ridiculous but, um, yeah, we're girlfriends in most shows.." Nikki's voice faded for Raven, she was focused on the fact that she's been here the whole time, that one year was fake. All those challenges on getting everything back to normal, it wasn't real.

She stepped back and looked away from the tv in despair. Ranboo worried and let Ethan take Charlie as Ranboo slowly walked over to her "Raven.."

All the remaining part of her that was fighting to keep standing, both figuratively and literally, gave up and she fell on the floor, staring in the abyss as she questioned Everything about her life. If they can fake a year, that wouldn't be the limit of their power, she heard that her whole life was fake. Did she even have parents?

"Raven!" Ranboo rushed to catch her, Nikki tried to catch her as she fell sitting down on the floor.

How can someone toy with people like this without a trace of mercy??

Everyone's voice all faded as she only heard her thoughts. Was it fake then? The feeling she felt for Nikki just a second ago? Which were real? Was it why ranboo was filming them earlier? what If the psycho that killed those workers and hurt charlie was her real self. What if her childhood wasn't even real.

Ranboo quickly came over to her and Nikki did too, sitting to her side and rubbing her back to comfort her.

"Nikki.. I'm sorry but can you not touch me..right now?" Nikki quickly moved her hand away and step away for a bit, "Cause i just- It fucking hurts right now."

"I'm sorry.." Nikki could only utter.

"I- I thought I liked you.. " This was not how she pictured she'd confess "But now, maybe I was just programmed that way and it's so difficult to know this is fake."

"Raven, they can't fake feelings like this." Ranboo said softly trying to say the right thing to not make things worse.

"No, the fucking can. They probably can, why can't they, right?" That one year, she remembered feeling stressed and angry but on occasion, on small moments she felt happy and at peace. It wouldn't make sense if she was feeling those things about a year that didn't exist.

She grew quiet and Ranboo cupped her face as his hands got wet with the tears from her face.

"What if that psycho killer is the real me.." She asked quietly. Which shocked everyone that she could even think that. A girl like her would have that merciless killer be her real self. Ranboo didn't know how to word how much he disagrees with that question. How he could emphasize how much of an opposite she is. He only stayed silent for a moment to take it in, that her best friend becomes this broken that she forgets her amazing self.

"Raven, that could never be true, you feel empathy, you feel love, you were genuinely concerned for all of us," He said as his one hand gestured to the group behind him and it went back to cupping her face. "Raven, you're not just a robot, alright? You're my friend, you care, feel scared, you feel happy, and right now you're confused. That feels real, right?" She could only close her eyes and nod repeatedly.

As everything started to calm down she saw a worker walking by, not noticing them.

A scary and hateful look appeared in her face. Everyone looked in the same direction she was looking and saw it. She stood up like her leg didn't hurt at all and walked slowly as she slowly pulled up a knife behind her. Her eyes focused like a lion sneaking on it's prey. Everyone watched as she killed it and another came and she ran to it and stabbed it on the neck and stabbed even deeper until the end of the blade touched the ground as it was still in the employee's neck and get on top of it and continue to stab it with the most terrifying and evil look on her face. She stopped with her knife held above her head, ready to go for another stab, panting heavily with her eyes still terrifying the others.

A few seconds and it quickly disappeared and she sat and crawled backwards getting away from the bloody murder, panting her lungs out as she saw the knife in her hand and quickly slid it on the floor away from her.

What the hell did she just do? The knife was in her hand, there's no point in denying that she really was the one doing all this.

Everyone was speechless at what they just saw but Ranboo quickly came over to her and threw the knife out of her sight.

He cupped her face again,looking straight into her eyes "Hey, hey, breath, breath." He started breathing rhythmically signaling her to breathe with him, she eventually did.

When she calmed down they got up and she picked up the knife and shoved it in the pocket behind her. While she was still holding it she felt a knife she was holding but didn't know she even picked it up again but brushed it off and continued walking.