Show resurrection (Generation loss+ oc)

Chapter 11:Lies are harsh teases against the hard truth

They were exploring the mall with Ranboo still by Raven's side. They all noticed the distance Nikki has been keeping from all of them, and it made Raven feel even more bad everytime she looks back and sees Nikki being far away from them but smiles at her with a sad look in her eyes.

Ethan eventually saw a store that caught his attention, it had photos hung up and framed on the walls. They all looked around and saw various photos of them and saw themselves smiling behind cameras and the show sets, like a behind the scenes picture. They even go above and beyond to fake behind the scenes. Raven has been completely bitter about everything, she's never going to be fully okay even if they find a way out. Maybe she was broken.

She saw a picture of her with Nikki, smiling together being so close, she stared like her world froze until she was snapped back with Nikki walking up beside her to look at the same picture. She looked at her until they both saw sadness in each other's eyes but still managed to smile at one another. She looked back at the photo with her smile faded fast. The longer she looked at it the longer it made her mad, every detail on this photo wasn't real.

"It's not fake, you know?" Nikki eventually said, like she read her mind.

Out of nowhere, Raven could only feel anger. She looked down on a plastic dahlia without a stem she found before she knew the year was faked, before everything was a little better than this very moment. She was meaning to give Nikki, but now everytime she looked at it all she was reminded of was Showfall.

Dahlia means transition or departure from the normal which was just this entire thing. And the flower being fake and plastic keeps insulting her right at her face. How could she possibly give something she hates to a person she loves?

Love. How can even that word give her so much anger? Because admitting to her self that she loved Nikki didn't feel real. It didn't feel as magical or shocking or relieving, but at the same time it does.

Perhaps, due to her even more growing hate to Showfall made her reject any feeling she felt, even if it had the slightest chance to be real, just to resist their control. She doesn't realize that maybe that's more robot than what she was before.

"It is." she said with a clear trace of annoyment.

She couldn't keep in the anger any longer and wanted to snap at all of them laughing at the ridiculous 'bloopers pictures' that were posted on the wall. So she did. Without a thought that she might regret it. Because she didn't care at all, all is shit and there's no point in being positive.

"Shut up!" She yelled at the rest of the group; they fell quiet.

"Raven.." Ranboo slowly walked over to her to calm her down and place a hand on her shoulder.

She moved away from him and continued, "No, because, this was all fake, like, those people in the photos aren't you. I'm so sick of even being in this wretched building. I'm so frustrated seeing this stupid photo," She gestured to the photo she was looking at a few seconds ago, " Just by the clear fact that me and Nikki being so close isn't real and the hidden meaning that pink hair i have was suppose to be my symbol that i ACTUALLY had my own decision, after losing it for 3 fucking years! But that wasn't even real! I didn't do that with my own decision after all!

"Like, why even tease me and make me actually think I had a choice?? Why go above and beyond to give me the illusion that I had a choice and have the truth lying around for me to find??

"Fuck, you were lucky! While you all had glimpses of the real thing while I lost myself for a year!"

She sighed. A long, exhausted, defeated sigh.

They all knew, including Raven, that those last few sentences was a fucked up thing to say. They weren't lucky, they try to escape every time but keep getting pulled back and the whole thing starts again, no one had it better. They all suffered, every.single.one. of them.

It was too late to take back. They fell into an intense, uncomfortable silence for a few seconds.

"Raven.." Ranboo said, shocked by the huge breakthrough. He has never seen her this distraught, maybe he's never even seen her at all. But he knows that if they did have the chance to live normal life together they'd still be the bestest of friends, and he's determined to get out of here and make that happen for her.

"I'm sorry.." She rubbed her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I just - I'm sorry, I gotta,um, go for a..bit. She soon ran outside.

She stopped when she was out of sight of the store, next to an escalator in a hallway. She tilted her head up as she closed her eyes and covered her face with both her hands.

She felt like an idiot lashing out on people that were at no fault and was just as much of a victim as her. She didn't want to be that angry person that killed people and blamed and yelled at others who were innocent. Before all this, she always has been. Tried so hard not to be that person since it ruined her relationship with everyone for years, another relapse..

She reached for her knife and she threw it on the ground far away from her.

Her head started to hurt a lot and flashes of colors and figures were all she could see, as if thousands of memories were flashing in her head, too subtle to comprehend a single one. She fell to her knees in pain and everything turned black.