UNDER HIS INFLUENCE

Chapter 19

Ian

You don't know you are falling,until you are in deep.

I now know how true that is.

I thought what I had for Kayla was mere attraction but it is something deeper than that. I wouldn't call it love, not yet atleast,but it is something deep am sure.

It is that urge to protect and fight for her,and keep all prying eyes off her.

I know it may seem like love but it's not.Atleast I think it's not.

I tried to go back to my old ways but I failed.

At first I thought it was the problem with the girls I called but it was more than that.It wasn't the girls with the problem,it was me looking for Kayla in them.

They didn't smell like her, their touch held no meaning because it wasn't Kayla.Their dressing bothered me because that is not how she dresses up.

Everything about them was plastic,fake.

I didn't like that,not anymore.

And yet there she was, getting ready to go out with another man.

She deserved a man like Eliott.He was perfect for her.She deserved someone who would treat her well, someone who would respect and love her,be there with her,be her support,and Eliott Smith fit well in the picture.

But I wanted her to be mine.

It has been hard resisting the temptation of caressing her,kissing her, bending her over my desk and taking her from there,but I did.

Even on those days she wore those dresses that brought out her curves,I stayed back.

It was hard but I did because I wanted to respect her decision.

But seeing her here, going out with another man,drove me senseless.It irked me to the core and I was not going to sit around idle just looking on until my woman was taken away.

Fuck perfection!! Fuck respect!! Fuck distance!! And fuck!! Eliott!!

I wasn't ready for him to sweep her into his arms and kiss her soft lips the same way I did.

That's why I walked out of my office,pulled her to my chest and kissed her before she realized what was happening.

I nibbled her lower lip taking it gently between my teeth causing a small moan to escape her throat.

I liked it.

And I know she liked it too.

We were breathless from the kiss and it took us a few seconds to catch our breaths.

I expected her next statement. I just didn't want to hear it.But I did.

"This is not right!!"

"What makes it so wrong?Tell me Kay.I know you liked it, and so did I,so what is so wrong with it?"

"Look, Ian,I know what kind of person you are.You like to play,but I don't.I don't want my feelings to be played with and so I will not sit around and wait for you to come in and out of my life when you please. I am not ready to be that kind of woman."

Her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke.

Her words cut deep but I knew what she meant.And I knew where she was coming from.

"You are right!!And am sorry. I just__ nevermind.So you are going out with Eliott?"

She nodded her head.

I shook my head thoughtfully as I looked at her once more.

Her beautiful eyes peered into mine,
eliciting unspoken emotions that I got lost in.

She looked away and wiped her tears.

"I guess you will be out with Audrey too,am I right?"

That wasn't it. I wasn't going to Audrey or any other woman but I I nodded. Maybe that would mend my ego knowing she would be thinking about me the same way I will be thinking about her.

She nodded her head and walked out as I walked silently behind her.