UNDER HIS INFLUENCE

Chapter 31

IAN

Regret .
Something I had forgotten but now kept haunting me.

I had broken her heart. Along with it her dignity compromised. She had looked at me, with pained eyes and my heart just shattered thinking about it.

I deserved what I was going through and she didn't.
She had walked out of my life and there was no walking back into it. I had come to terms with it the time she had walked into my office only a day back.

She looked like she had been crying as her eyes were swollen,but she had done her best to hide it with make up. I still saw through her.

"Here is my resignation letter,sir. I don't want to work here anymore and my contract has expired."
She had said with a straight face, eyes void of any emotion.

"Do you have to do this? Do you have to leave?"

"Of course I do, sir."

"Kayla,please let's talk. I know...."
I was cut off before I could say anything else.

"No, Ian,you don't know anything."

I walked up to her, my hands left in the air as she took a step back when I tried to touch her.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare touch me,Ian."

"Ok, ok. But could we atleast talk about this. Please, Kay. I can't....."

"You can't what? Huh? You can't love me, you can't respect me. You can't do anything Ian.Not when it's about me. So which one is it?"

I had lost. I had lost to my ego, to my pride. I had lost her.

I just had to let her go. Even if that's the last thing I wanted.

"Will you say something? Or did you go mute. If you enjoy hurting me as much as I know you do, then you can watch me die everyday I walk into this fuckin office."

"I will sign the letter." I finally said, my heart burdened with the guilt and pain as I felt my it break along with hers.

She walked out before I could say anything else, and I felt like my life had been drained out of me.

And now it had been two weeks. Two weeks since u had last seen her. Two weeks since I had last heard her voice, two weeks since I knew what was going on with her. Was she happy? Was she sad? I didn't know.

I had gone to her place, not once, not twice but a couple of times. But it was like she had never lived there. She had just disappeared and I didn't know where to start looking for her.

"It looks like she doesn't want to be found, boss." The detective I had hired said and that crashed all the hopes I had left in me.

"What am I paying you for if you are not doing anything? It has been two fuckin weeks. What do you mean you can't find her? Get the fuck out of here. Now!!" Screaming and shouting wasn't going to solve anything. Even I knew that. But somehow blaming somebody else made it feel less worse than it already was.

The new assistant wasn't even helping much. She was just another clumsy horny bitch and I had grown tired of her face. I knew the problem wasn't hers, but mine.

She wasn't who I wanted. She wasn't Kayla.

She didn't smell like her, she didn't look like her, she didn't taste like her,and neither did she fuck like her. No one did. Not any of those girls I had slept with just to get rid of her memories in my mind. They simply weren't her and neither could they be.

I fuckin missed her. However hard it was for me to admit.

I fuckin needed her.