UNDER HIS INFLUENCE

Chapter 25

Kayla

I was clearly crazy.

Something about me was screwed.
I knew fully well how Ian felt about me, I knew fully well that he had betrayed me. And yet the next thing I did was allow him fuck me again.
I allowed him to use me.

I could have refused.

When he kissed me, I could have pushed him away and could have given him a deserving slap, and yet I kissed him back.

I could have stopped him when he slid my zipper down , but I had left him do it.

I could have stopped him when he dug his fingers into me and fucked me with them, but I had let him do it.

I could have refused when.he told me to strip,but I went on and did it.

I could have walked out when he told me to bend over his desk but I bent over and let him fuck me.

I had let him consume me.

Something in me,had dared me to wear that dress that day .It was like I was daring him, giving myself to him.

Ian was like alcohol,however much he burnt my throat,I kept on consuming him.And then woke up with a hungover of regrets only to consume him again.

His whole being messed up with my mind.

And I feared that however far, I went, I would still run back to him, only to be hurt again.

I had been bewitched by him.His orbs peered into my soul,and made me make all the wrong decisions.His lips, consumed me with a poison I kept on consuming.

His body, kept drawing me back to him. I feared I would get so used to it,I would learn to depend on it and he would leave me like he always did.

I couldn't bring myself to go away from him. That is a fact I came to understand.

In these past few weeks, I had tried to leave only to be drawn back into my addiction.

I had gotten used to doubting myself,it had become part of me. I had questioned my sanity a number of times yet I kept on making the same wrong decisions.

I had consumed his poison,and it was now taking effect.

It scared the shit out of me, but I suspected that it's effect wasn't temporary,and yet I liked it.