Draconia Offline vol. 2

84.2. Ryuuto No More - Part 2

I wake up with Noage's rooty tentacles stuck to my forearm. I fell asleep the moment I closed my eyes and it seems my short power nap wasn't so short after all. I don't remember dreaming about anything, did my brain shut down completely?

"Sorry about that, love, but we couldn't help being worried sick," Gotrid apologises because I frown at him. "Something's going on with you."

"I was just tired," I insist, annoyed that they called Noage on me.

However, I know that I can't do anything about that. I can be all scary in the court, uncompromising when it comes to politics and nobody can question my decisions, but even my power and influence have limitations. Just as Celestials have to obey my orders when it comes to the ruling, I have to obey when it comes to my health and protection because it's the Celestial priority and the highest state interest to protect their embodiment of magic.

I can be angry about it all I want, but, for some strange reason, I'm never able to effectively protest. It's as if they hold some mysterious power over me. I suspect it's somehow connected to my complete inability to use my powers against my people. Something in my mind just blocks me. Is it because of the racial behavioural programming the Divementis instilled in us? Or just something that developed unexpectedly?

I slowly sit up, but it seems Noage has no intention of letting go of me.

"Enough, I'm okay," I click my tongue.

"No, you're not," Noage is adamant. "You haven't been sleeping well lately, Your Majesty."

"It's just this different time zone, doesn't it usually take people a few days to get used to it?" I try to reason with him. "Or did you find something else wrong with me?"

"Well, no," he admits reluctantly. "Just serious sleep deficit."

"See?" I dramatically roll my eyes. I was never good at acting, but I have to do my best now. I need to meet my father in my dreams again and they can't interfere.

Gotrid sighs and nods at Noage that he can let go of me now. I massage the place where Noage's tentacles pierced my skin, but there's barely any trace left. The Earthborn produce some kind of substance that closes the skin extremely quickly after their intervention.

"Celestials weren't sure what to do while you were napping," Erik informs me. "Liana refused to take the initiative and the Japanese government is still in a session."

"What's the time?" I ask.

"Three already," Gotrid says. Oh, I was napping for four hours? No wonder I worried them.

"We can't do much until the Prime Minister's cabinet decides on their course of action," I shrug. "We may as well just continue with our tasks."

"A late lunch is such a task, you skipped a meal again," Erik reminds me. "Nobody in the mansion has had lunch yet. It was supposed to be a special course for the delegates so it somehow felt weird to eat it separately."

"Cien, go tell the staff that I'll dine with my subjects in fifteen minutes," I tell the maid who's patiently awaiting my orders.

I stand up, stretch my wings and nod at Ayala to adjust my robe and hair.

"What will you do about Liana?" Erik asks carefully.

"Do?" I don't understand the question.

"The Viceroy didn't take your scolding well, love," Gotrid explains. "She did just what you asked of her directly and then hid in her apartment, leaving Celestials second-guessing. They think she's in your disgrace now."

I feel a wave of sympathy towards her. Maybe I was too harsh? Did I humiliate her? But then I realise what I set myself to do. I did what I had to do, kindness wouldn't be beneficial in that particular situation. I have to show my subjects that while I'm forced to comply when it comes to my protection, I won't tolerate them questioning my decisions.

Celestial society isn't based on democracy, I have to finally let go of that human idea. The Emperor rules with absolute power and appoints people he trusts to take care of lower levels of the government. My subjects are here to advise me, nothing more. Whether my kind personality likes it or not, I'm the embodiment of magic and they aren't my equals.

"Ryuu...?"

My father was right, I've been kidding myself all this time. I can't have both. I should stop pretending that there will be a time when everything will work out and the world will leave me be. There won't be a future for me and my partners in which we can eat pancakes without a care in the world.

"Hey, Ryuu...?"

I was never human and now I'm not fully Celestial either. My father said that there has never been a Divementis hybrid before. What that makes me? My body is mostly Celestial and my feelings towards my people are fiercely protective. Half-Divementis or not, I'm the Celestial Emperor and making sure my race has a future will always be my life purpose.

"Ryuuto!" Erik grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.

I have no idea why he's addressing me like that. Then it finally comes to me. Right, Ryuuto was my human time. It seems so distant now. I no longer automatically respond when he calls me like that. I still like that name because it's coming from him and because my Mom named me, but it's only nostalgia talking. I don't identify as Ryuuto anymore. I'm the Celestial Emperor Aefener.

"I was lost in thoughts," I try to smile at him, but he isn't fooled. He senses the change in me. He's studying my face and gets startled when he realises that I'm looking at him as fondly as ever, but there's no recognition in my eyes when he uses my human name.

"I'm sorry, Erik, there's nothing human in me left," I feel my eyes getting wet. I can still allow myself to be vulnerable in front of them. I don't have to put up a stiff upper lip in their presence.

I don't feel sad for myself, though, I no longer identify with my previous life. I feel sad for my partner. Erik is the only human in the court and his position isn't easy. While Celestials treat him with utmost respect, he misses his kind and an occasional coffee with Elizabeth isn't enough. He's just as trapped as I am.

Words can't describe how much I love my partners so I use telepathy instead. I channel my emotional state to them, only hiding the truth about the secret training with my father.

"Silly," Erik kisses me so gently that it stops my tears. "You should have told me that you want me to use your Celestial name. I thought you liked me calling you Ryuu."

"I like it from you," I assure him. "But today I just couldn't respond anymore. I didn't recognise my old name."

Erik sighs heavily, but he isn't sad about the name. He's sad that I was hesitant to tell him. He leans close to my left ear and whispers:

"Aefener..."

Shivers go down my spine and spread through my wing bones, making all my feathers stand up. I thought that I loved Erik calling me Ryuu, but it turns out that him calling me by my Celestial name is incomparably more intimate. Still, I feel like I want to keep my previous name as something special I only share with him—a playful nickname we use only in private perhaps?

"My Emperor," Gotrid, not wanting to be left behind, whispers to my right ear. Everybody else calls me that, but only he can make these two words sound erotic.

My tense body finally relaxes. Sitting on a throne and making difficult decisions suddenly doesn't seem so hard when I realise that I have them standing by my side.

"Your Majesty, everybody has gathered in the throne room already," Vermiel reports from behind the door because he suspects that we're cuddling.

"Not everybody," I gently push Erik and Gotrid away. "Liana is still sulking in her apartment."

"Well, the Viceroy wasn't sure if you want to see any more of her today," Vermiel says.

"Nonsense, I just had to discipline her, that's all," I shake my head. "Tell everyone that I'll come in a minute. It seems I have to personally drag my Viceroy out."