𝘽𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙈𝙈𝙄𝙉𝙂𝘽𝙄𝙍𝘿 | quacknap

Day Three

They eat, sitting on opposite ends of a wooden table, 150 feet in the air. Quackity explains Slime as best as he can, the friendship and the lessons and the youthful attitude. He stops to catch his breath so as to not start sobbing a few times, and occasionally has to rewind when he forgets something, but Sapnap never interrupts or questions. He only eats in silence.

Quackity knows explaining it is creating another weakness, revealing more of his cracked skin under patched-up clothes, but he can't find it in himself to mind. Because it's Sapnap. The soldier of comfort and warmth and.. While, yes, fire, but Quackity has always been into that anyway.

And he's a good listener. He's always been a good listener; good at the whole loving through helping you love thing. Which is, as much as Quackity hates to admit it, exactly what he needs in a partner.

But Sapnap (can't be) isn't a partner. Sapnap's only a good listener and a good cuddler.

So good that Quackity doesn't even realise he's been talking so long that his plate has become empty. Despite how Tubbo always crams as much food as he can onto Quackity's plate, and Quackity has never finished half of one of Tubbo's plates before. His words pitter out as he stares down at the blank china, as if expecting it to be some kind of joke and the food will reappear any minute.

And then when it does set in (that he ate an entire filled plate's worth of food, in less than an hour) he waits for the feeling of sickness to settle into his stomach that happens when he eats too much. Which it does, but it feels less impactful than usual, as if it's placebic.

"Q?' Sapnap speaks for the first time in a while, looking at him in concern. Quackity swallows, wondering if he should throw up or continue the story, before shaking his head in dismissal and sending Sapnap a weak smile.

"Sorry.. I- uh.. Where was I?"

Sapnap studies him another moment before answering. "You were about to explain why Purpled.." He trails off. "Lava trap."

And Quackity falters. Because Purpled lava trapped in order to get the revive book that he thought Quackity had because Quackity has been torturing Sapnap's (ex?) best friend. He opens his mouth and no words come out.

"Right.. Um. Yeah, he's just.. Traumatised kids, y'know? They do fucked up shit."

Sapnap raises an eyebrow, but doesn't push. "Right."

Quackity exhales. "Right."

Sapnap glances at both of their empty plates, before standing and collecting them to move to another table. So they have some free room, Quackity supposes. "I'm really sorry for your loss, love." He says as he sits back down, the first proper thing he's said since Tubbo left, and Quackity suddenly needs to repress the urge to cry.

"Oh it's..." But it's not fine, his first ever actually best friend died because of him. He nods once in answer instead, and Sapnap takes that as enough. The blaze reaches out and takes Quackity's hand in his own, smiling reassuringly and way too kindly for his next sentence to be anything good.

"Q, I want you to be honest with me.. Am I only here because of a stupid decision from your grief?"

Quackity swallows. "I don't know." And then he decides he isn't being honest like asked. "Probably."

Sapnap takes that in, while Quackity studies his every move for emotion, before he breaks eye contact and hangs his head, sighing. "Okay.. and, now that has been made aware to you, should I leave?"

No.

Is Quackity's first thought.

No, because you're Sapnap and you're the soldier of fire and comfort and you're my fiance and you're my everything and.. I love you.