Written In Blood | Countryhumans AU

Brand New Man

First day of training. We stretched in a loose circle. Max enthusiastically chatted with us.

"Okay, Union, how come you can still drive all your cars even though you're shorter now?" he asked while I switched to a lunge.

"Because the car was already shorter than me. The company's had to find a way to make a car fit me, and still be road legal. So instead of being my height or taller, they are shorter, have super powerful engines, and enough leg room. All I have to do is adjust the seat and I'm good." I adjusted my leg slightly.

"What about your motorcycle?"

"For those all that mattered was being road legal, having a powerful enough engine, and good suspension, so as long as I'm not below ten foot so I can ride or drive all of my stuff."

"So can you fly a plane?"

"No." I said, as I switched to another lunge. He looked at me with a blank stare, walking away . I rolled my eyes at him. The state's chattering filled up the silence for a moment.

"OW!" I yelled, as I tried to shove the person who was standing on my wing away.

A hand came down on my shoulder. They still stood on my feathers, but a boot was on the 'shoulder'.

"OFF!" I shouted.

"No can do." Max leaned on me, "You're gonna have to stand up, y'know, knock me off n stuff."

I bit my tongue. Looking at the ground, then glaring at his legs.

It would be a shame if you couldn't fly!

No. Fucking. Shit.

Wait.

WHAT THE FUCK!

Staring at the crooked grin of his face. Piss off Confederate! You'll be the one out of the two of us that needs to stand up!

Says the guy with a man standing on his frail wing.

HEY I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TALKING WITH HIM!

FEDERAL! Why is he here? I'm so confused.

Federal? Give me a better nickname!

YOU DON'T GET ONE!

Uhm. What is happening? Seriously.

This... asslicking, alcoholic, useless piece of 'country' decided to come back due to the civil war currently happening.

Shouldn't he be with the new Confederacy? Also a new name....

DON'T CALL ME-!

DIXIE! Yes. That's it. But still, why are you bothering me and not your replacement.

"What are you muttering about?" Max asked, giving me a confused look.

"Nothin'."

Yeah nothing.

Silence fiend.

Let me guess on why you're here. You can't get into the new ones head, or you're stuck here.

Do you know who they made president? Because the new guy is so orange and dumb.

No way it's Trump.

Didn't he dodge the draft?

Yeah.

How come you call him Federal? Why not Yankee?

Because-

Because he still gets called Yankee.

STOP CUTTING ME OFF! God. You two are worse than the states. The duo glared at me. Any ideas on what to do?