Friendships Desires and Secrets

No Feelings So In Unison

Tara got out of bed slowly, rushing to the bathroom once she was clear of the bed. She paced and fretted at her nails, chewing the gel coatings off. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't. He had just proposed! He didn't want to be a father already. He was going to hate her.
What if he wanted to break it off?
Oh god...what if it was Jimin's?

Her mind swam in panic, wave after wave of dread and fear hitting her. She checked the time on her phone. 5:55 am.
By 6:00 she had dressed and left.
Tara knew it would be a while before he woke up. She took her time, walking the desolate streets. As she aimlessly wandered, she tried to blank out all the negative thoughts that threatened to consume her.
And all the things she could try to do. She could hide it from him and act like she didn't notice... but she was a horrid liar. She could get an abortion but she knew it would be all over her face. She wanted a baby, his baby. She could never go through with killing it. She messaged Alex.

She figured Alex would still be asleep, but in a few seconds, Tara's phone buzzed.
(A) Are you positive, like tested?
(T) No.
(A) first stop, then? Message me after.

Alex was right. She needed to be sure. She could just be all worked up for nothing.
But 20 minutes later, in the bathroom of the closest convenience store, she was staring at two pink lines. The only time she had seen two lines come up that fast was her first positive covid test. She should have been cried out by this point, but in an instant, she was sobbing yet again. She stayed absorbed in the turmoil until she heard people moving outside in the store and talking. She washed up and left the room quickly, much to the relief of a very pregnant looking young woman who was waiting outside.
Oh, the irony.

Back in his apartment, Yoongi rolled over in his sleep and not feeling Tara instantly awoke. He reached for his phone and texted her.
(Y) What's wrong?
How did he know? She read the text over and over. She was trapped, out of time. She could buy herself a few days, not say anything. No. She was too transparent to attempt that. He would know, and out of politeness, he would leave her alone until he became angry or worried. Then, in his quiet and intense way, he would demand to know. She texted back,
(T) Everything
She closed her phone and slid it into her tight leggings pocket. She had made it all the way to the Seoul forest. She realized that she had nothing left in her and slumped down on one of the benches. After gathering herself for a few minutes, just staring at the people walking by, she messaged Alex again.
(T) pos. He knows something's up. Idkwtd
(A) Just tell him. Your brain is making it worse than it is. You are together in this. He will be madder if you hide it.

Alex was always right about these things. Her ability to see through bs was uncanny, and her premonitory skills could be scary.
Tara had wished many times that she had Alex's confidence even though Alex had told her many times that it wasn't confidence.
Whatever it was, Tara needed some now. To her left, the sun slowly and steadily rose. A constant in an ever shifting sandscape. She felt that sand slipping out from under her feet now. Her phone buzzed in her hand and startled her.
(A) where r u?
(T) forest
(A) that's vague
Tara looked around, trying to catch her bearings. Her eyes searched for a landmark until they came to rest on the small plaque mounted to the bench. She sniffed hard as she stared at the writing on the golden plate.
(T) guess...
(A) Don't you do anything stupid!
(T) No, I'm not, not this time. Just guess
(A) North Tower?
(T) nope
Tara took a picture of the bench she was sitting on. The golden ginko leaf glinting in the sunrise. The letters engraved in Korean read, "Please lean on me from time to time."
Tara slid her phone back in the pocket of her leggings after sending the picture. He phone vibrated, but she didn't answer it. She turned and rested her head on the back of the bench.
Her sobs were dry but still shook her body, her arm instinctively cradled over her womb. Exhausted mentally, having run the gambit of options and finding none, and physically from walking so far so early with no food, Tara's eyes fluttered shut.

In her dream, mist was all around. She was atrempting to navigate in a dense wood. A black-out canopy overhead and an overly soft leafelitter floor made traversing the terrain slow. In the distance, she could hear her name being called. It sounded like Yoongi one moment and her mother the next. Maybe they were searching for her.
As she trudged on, the trees became thicker, and briars began to tear at her legs. The fog was closing in, making the air too humid. It was so warm. She began to hear a baby cry.
Tara tried over and over to remove her jacket, but each time she did and looked down, the track jacket was still on her and zipped. Yoongi's voice got further away, and she tried to call out to him. Her voice croaked from her dry throat. Fear and panic began to rise like bile. She tripped and woke with a start.
Tara rose from the bench wearily and turned for home. When she looked up, she saw Yoongi striding quickly towards her. Any calm facade that she had planned crumbled away as he caught her in his arms.
"Tara," He spoke softly but very stern. "You tell me what is wrong right now."
She wanted this baby so badly and had even dreamed of a baby Min. For years, she imagined having his child growing in her. Now, she would have to tell him and pray that he wouldn't be furious.
"Yoongi." Her voice was raspy and haggard. Her chin quivered uncontrolled as she cleared her throat and swallowed hard. "I'm pregnant."
Yoongi's face changed from concern to awe, then to elation. Just as swiftly, it fell. "But you don't want it?" He whispered.
"NO! I DO! I have always wanted yo- another baby."
"Then why are you so upset?"
"I was afraid you would be angry, Yoongi. You literally just proposed!"
"Are you serious." He shook his head. "The only thing I've ever wanted this much, is you Jagi." Yoongi made a tsk sound and looked slightly miffed. "When are you going to learn to trust me, Tara? To trust the depth of my love for you? We need to be as one to raise this baby right."
Tara nodded but couldn't muster any more than that. "I need to sit back down." She was about to turn back towards the bench when suddenly, everything went black.

*authors note*
The plaque translates differently in Google as "Please recline from time to time" but a tiktok claimed it reads "Please lean on me from time to time" which was more fitting for the story. Take it as you will. Ty