INCLINATION

CHAPTER 18 | Welcome Home

EMIHLE.

He hasn’t let go of me since we boarded the plane. Held me close as I cried in his arms. I wish I could go back and turn back time, waited for him while we was gone for three years. I wish I never fell for Andile’s words and charm. God why does it always have to me? I have always felt like I’m the dark sheep in the family because of the choices I made not knowing those choices were made for me without me realizing. I wish I could crawl into a black whole and never come out. I hate my life right now. I sniff again, he plants a kiss on my head.

Even though he is holding me, I can feel how angry he is  he is tense and I know he’s just waiting for the right to be alone and deal with his anger. I wish I could say I’m scared for Charlotte, his brother and father but I’m not. They deserve everything that is coming to them. If his father goes to jail, it's going to hurt Zonke because their father is old and I don’t know what he is going to do with the company since he’s going majority share holder.

The pilot’s tells us to fasten our seat belts since we’re about to land. He does mine first then his. I glance at his aunt and she’s stressed, worried about his father. Linda is watching his brother too. He knows what Hlanga is like when he’s angry, I have seen that side of him and I wish to never experience it again. We finally land, he takes my hand and we walk out, and get in the car, just the two of us and he drives.

“ I think you need to rest because today was a hard for you. I’ll pick Aya from school"
“ What time is it?” I sign
“ It’s 12:15”
“ I’ll go and refresh up first then pick him up. I don’t want to disappoint him"
“ I’ll explain to him that you’re not feeling good and he’ll understand”
“ No, you know it’s been years since I picked him up from school and he’s looking forward to it. I am too and I’m not going to disappoint him.”

“ Ok, I’m coming with because he’s going to ask you why you’re signing and not talking”
“ And I’ll tell him that I lost my voice. Stop worrying”
“ How can I not? I promised myself and you that I never want to see you cry tears of pain anymore"
I heave a deep sigh and rub my temple. He cups my face. “ how bad is it?”
“ I’m struggling to open my eyes.”
“ We’re going to see a doctor.” He signs and I just nod because I don’t want us to argue about a simple headache that can be fixed with pills.

I don’t know how he did it because we didn’t have to wait in line, we just went through and saw a doctor. Who just told me I needed to rest because I  stressed,  just gave me prescription of pills and told me to come back if my headache gets worse. Hlanga was translating to the doctor about how I’m feeling. We walk out and pass by the pharmacy to collect the pills. He steps out of the car goes to collect the medication then comes back in less than 10 minutes.

He opens the water cap, gives me the pills after reading the instructions . I take them and drink. “ You can take a nap before we go to Aya's school.”

“ I should have bought my clothes.” I sign.
“ Your cousin Siya and his wife brought them. They left them at my house"
“ Are they still there?”
“ No, they wanted to stay but I asked then to leave and give you some time. When you’re ready, you’ll talk to them"
“ Who took my bags?”
“ My mother left. It was Blessing who took them.” Thank God. I don’t think I would have had the strength to deal with his mother or sisters.

“ They all knew. My uncles, cousins and my grandparents. The most important people after my parents. What kind of lawyer am I who couldn’t see what was happening? Right in front of my eyes?”
“ You trusted your family and you never imagined that they could keep something like this from you. You’re a damn great lawyer Emy. Don’t let this situation make you doubt yourself. No matter what situation you face, no one can this away from you because you worked really hard to be who you are today. Your not just Judge Mdakane’s daughter, your Emihle Mdakane, for now ”

He links our hands and I squeeze it tight. Where would I be right now had he not wanted anything to do with me after this morning. He drives until we arrive at his house. I step out then we walk inside and the moment I see his mother sitting in the sitting room drinking tear or something. I instantly want to go anywhere but here. She looks shocked to see me back here again. I can still hear her calling me “ mabuy’ emendwemi' a return soldier. I think she thought that she got through me, I’ll listen to what she said and she’ll never set her eyes on me ever again but she was wrong. I love her son and I’m not going anywhere. Her blackmail didn’t work.

Hlanga gets tense too because his grip gets tighter. I look at the clock and it’s 13:05. I need to get ready, get myself together and go collect my son from school. 
“ Take a quick shower because we have to be at school at 14:00”
“ Ok, Hlanga….” he silences me with a kiss on my lips.
“ Go"

I nod then walk upstairs without missing the deadly look on his mother’s face then hear her voice. “ Stay out of this Nomusa. This is between me and my son”
I walk fast because I know the next words that are going to follow are going to be insults about me. I open the bedroom door that I slept in last night close and take off my clothes and my hands are shaking. I pass my bags that are placed on the wall and go to the bathroom. Once there and the shower runs, I shower fast and fight the tears that want to stream down my face. I’ll do that later when Aya is sleeping and he won’t see me crying.

I’m good at this, hiding my emotions so no one will worry about me. I just hope mask won’t fall in front of him and hurt him because I want this day to be a happy day for me because he was so happy to see me. I know he’s looking forward to spending time with me and I can’t disappoint him. After getting myself together, wearing the brand new clothes I bought with blood money using my grandfather’s card, I put on a brave face and walk out of the bedroom.

As I get closer I hear Hlanga’s voice. He’s talking to his mother. He’s not shouting at her or being disrespectful but you can hear that he is angry. The self control this man has scares me. I guess he learned this from his training as an agent.

“ Ma, with all due respect. I don’t want to say something that I will regret. Please, stop this"
“ You’re choosing her over me, over your family, Hlanga”
“ Ma….” I quickly walk in because he was about to snap. They both look at me.
I sign “ I’m ready, we can leave" His chest is moving fast and he’s breathing hard because he has his jaw clenched.
“ We’ll  talk about this later.” He says then takes my hand and we walk out.

I want to say something to him about his mother but I don’t want to upset him cause clearly he is. I know he’s angry at her and I wish he wasn’t but there’s nothing I can do because his mother is the one who started all of this. He’s gripping the steering wheel tight and his jaw is still clenched. I link our hands and the tension leaves his body. He glances at me then looks back at the road.
“ Can I ask you something?” I sign
“ That sounds serious”
“ It is. It’s about Aya"
“ What about him?” he brows knit.
“ Since I’m going to be staying with you for a while and maybe he’s going to see us together, how are we going to explain it to him because I don’t want to give him the wrong idea"
He keeps quiet and I almost think he didn’t hear me. I wait for him to say something and he does when he finally pulls up at Aya’s school and joins a long queue of cars that are parked. He shifts and faces me.

“ You’re staying with us for a while?”
“ We can’t live in the same house Hlanga, not until…” He gtabs my hands, stopping me from signing
“ Are you trying to make me angry too?”
“ No, what do you mean?”
“ What is all this talk about you can’t stay with me not until?. Not until what exactly because we already had this conversation. I’m never letting you out of my sight or life. I don’t care who says what, they can all go to hell. Do you understand me?”

“ I do"
“ Let’s talk about Aya, I know you love him very much like he’s your son and he loves you too because he also takes you as his mother too. I’m very open to him because I don’t want any secrets that will cause problems in his life. I have talked to him before about you and I and told him that I care very deeply about you and I always had even before you met Andile and the only problem I had was that you’re married to my brother but when I took him to school this morning he told me that he heard us arguing and he was sad because you were crying, I was making you cry.” He signs then heaves a deep sigh.

“ We both forgot that he was sleeping. How much did he hear?”
“ Not a lot from what he said but he was worried” God we can’t have that. “ we then talked and I told him that things between Andile and you are over so that means I finally have you in my life as it should have been from the very beginning.”
“ We still need to talk to him though, I don’t want him to think that it’s okay for brothers to take each other’s girlfriend or wives. I know he’s still young to understand what really happened and maybe when he’s older he will but I’m worried Hlanga" he cups my cheek. I brush I on his hand.

“ Aya is a smart kid and he will understand when we talk to him. We will be honest and answer any questions he has for us.”
“ I know, I’m not worried about that though and please don’t get me wring or assume I’m trying to cause problems but I’m worried about what will your family say to him about me. They don’t like me and what if they turn him against me?”

His hand wraps around my nape then he pulls me closer and our lips meet. I look at his eyes as we break the contact. “ he will come to me and talk to me, he knows this and I know he will say something to you too. Aya is like me Emy, he says the truth as it is and won’t lie for shit.”

I sign “ I know, I’m just scared. I don’t want anything to come between our relationship because I love him. He’s my son”
“ I know that and he knows that. Don’t worry, the bond you have with him, no one can understand it or tear it apart. They can try but they will fail.” I nod.
The bell rings and we hear a loud scream from the children. The cars slowly move as the children come out of the premises. Some moms walk to the entrance and stand outside. They formed a group and begin to talk. They look beautiful and you can tell, they are housewives.

“ Why don’t you go park the car while I step out and wait for him?” I sign.
“ Are you sure?” I nod. “ ok"
I kiss his lips. He grabs my hand and locks eyes with me. “ I love you"
“ I love you" I sign back. He smiles and my breath hitches. God, please don’t let anything or anyone come between us ever again. I will die if I lose this man again. I step out of car and notice the mom’s looking at Hlanga’s car then me frowning. I head closer to where Aya will see me.

They talk amongst themselves then steal glances at me. That’s weird, I guess they are wondering who I am. They must know Hlanga and probably have never seen him with someone else since they started picking up their children and dropping them off. Children are going to different parked card and others on the driveway and some to the soccer moms.

The first thing I see as he steps out is his tall self and he’s looking around. I move closer so he can see me clearer but the soccer moms call his name. He looks at them raises his hand and quickly looks away and I laugh cause he doesn’t want to have a conversation with them. One of the moms says something to him and he politely nods then his eyes find mine and a big smile spreads across my face.

“ Ma!” He shouts, grabs his school bag and gym back and almost runs to me. God I love this. Nothing can beat him calling me ma and looking happy so see me. I meet him halfway then he throws his bad on the lawn and attacks me with a hug and we earn stares from soccer moms and other people.
“ I was afraid you weren’t back yet when I couldn’t see dad’s car.” I kiss his forehead, then cheeks. He laughs and hides his face on my neck. He pulls away and looks at me he frowns.
“ You’re crying” he looks concerned. I wipe my tears while his father picks up his bags.
“ Because I missed you. I love you so much, you know that right?” I sign. He frowns and signs back.

“ I know ma. What’s wrong? You’re signing”
“ I lost my voice and the doctor told me to rest it for a couples of days and not strain it by talking” he nods.
“ You’ll be fine. I’ll make you some warm water with ginger and lemon and your voice will be back faster than you know” he signs
“ Thank you baby, what would you like to eat, I’m sure you’re hungry”
“ Burgers and chips?” I nod. He grins. “ Hey dad" they hug.
“ We need to go grocery shopping after burgers cause where going to the farm for a while. Our clothes are on our way there.”
I smile, Aya is also excited. He knows that the farm is my favourite place in the whole wide world. I link our hands and he pulls it up to his lips and kisses it. We get in the car and I notice that the soccer moms are still watching us and their faces show different emotions.

Peace and quiet is what greets me as he drives through the farm. The sounds of nature, the greenery and the mountains far ahead is everything. I can see the cows with their skin shining and the sheep’s covered in thick wood and you  an tell that the animals are well fed and taken care of.
I haven’t been here in years and I missed this place. His livestock has grown so much  and I notice that there’s another barn that’s built. It’s a horses stable. I smile. The workers greet us as he drives in until he goes to park the car at the garage. He was done amazing on this place. The patio goes all around the house. It takes my breath away.

“ Welcome back home Ma" Aya says as he steps out of the car. He’s so excited.
I sign smiling. “ I’m happy to be here baby”
His house keepers come outside and meet us. They greet and we greet them back. “ Aya, help Blessing and Walter take out the groceries.”
“ Okay baba, can we go riding later?”
Hlanga looks at me. “ Would you like to come with us?”

“ I haven’t been on a horse in years. I don’t think I still remember how to ride" I sign.
He gives me a look that sends goose bumps all over my skin. I look at Aya and he’s heading inside the house. Hlanga glides towards me then cups my face. One thing about Hlanga is, he will do whatever he wants to do. No matter where we are or who’s there with us. He will touch me appropriately of course how he wants and he’s an apologetic about it.

“ I’ll teach you again, remind you what’s it like riding one” my mouth gets dry and we just stare at each other.
“ Are we going to go for a ride later baba?”
“ Yes we will but your mother won’t join us. She needs to rest"
“ No, I’ll come with. Maybe we can watch the sunset at the hill"
“ Oh I can’t wait. It’s going to be fun" Aya says walking back inside the house.

Hlanga takes my hand and leads me inside. I gasp a we walk inside because it’s absolutely beautiful. The dark, and rich wood that goes all around the house greets me. He has renovated the place and it looks amazing. The high ceiling and the beautiful chandelier hanging in the middle does t look out of place at all. The open concept between the kitchen, living room and dining room is just amazing.

The kitchen just takes my breath away and you can see in Blessing’s face that she also the kitchen. The kitchen is overlooking the land and you can see cows just outside the big window grazing. He shows me what he has done to the place the last time I was here and each and every room takes my breath away.

He added a basement for Aya, where he  can have his own space when he wants to hang out and watch his favourite  shows. He has pictures of him and his whole family excluding Andile. There’s a cellar too that’s locked up and a ensuing bathroom for a guest I think.
We go upstairs and I fall with each bedroom he shows me. Every bedroom has a fireplace and portraits of his family but mostly Aya growing up. “ and this is your bedroom” He opens the door and I walk in. It is big, the wood on the floor is lighter than the one in other bedrooms, the huge king bed is dominating the room with a beautiful nude fur rug that is placed in front of the bed.

“ Oh…my….God” I say as I walk in. The fire place is facing the bed and the sitting area is right at the corner in front of the huge windows and there are trees on front offering some privacy. I can just see myself curling down there, reading or just watching outside.
“ I love it. It’s….wow” I sign. I look at the walls and they nude, just a little dark. There are lights and I just wonder what it’s going to look like once it gets dark.
“ Let me show you the closet.”
I follow him, he opens the door and I step in. I’m speechless. He has three different portraits of me hanging on the walls. The first one, I look like I had just woken up, the second one is me concentrating on something on my desk where I used to work and the third one is recent. It was the day of the gala where I looked so beautiful.
“ I made this closet especially for you. You clothes are here and you’ll add more cause it looks empty.”
“ Thank you, I really love it" he nods. I see another door so I push it open and it’s his closet. Wait, I shift and look at him. “ This is your closet, Is this the primary bedroom? Your bedroom?” I sign
He closes the door behind him and walks in towards me. “ It’s our bedroom" He says. “ You’ll sleep where I sleep. Everyday and every night”

I smile, he picks me up and puts me on the island that’s on the middle. Myers automatically wrap around his waist. His big and tall body hides mine.
“ I missed you" he plants kisses on my nape then claims my mouth and hungrily kisses me. God it feels so good.
His hands grab mine and he makes me feel how hard he is. He has been hard since and it’s going to stay that way until he deals with his anger. He feels thick and I can just imagine….God. I pull my hand away and break the contact of our lips. His eyes lock with mine.
“ What’s wrong?” I take a deep breath and try to talk.
“ Let’s…..get…..mmmmmarried” I mean it. I want to get married to him. He’s shocked.