INCLINATION

CHAPTER 59 | Mama

EMIHLE

I don’t understand how I didn’t wake up when I was brought here. Anything could have happened to me and my child. Being here in Cape Town all alone was very reckless of me and I see now why everyone was against it when I told them that I am leaving. I left everyone behind who has been through the process I’m in right now, carrying a child. I left like I have experience in all of this when I know absolutely nothing. What happened earlier today has just opened my eyes. I know I’m angry at Hlanga and my father but what I’m doing to all those who care about me is not fair at all.

It’s not fair on them and especially my son and the child I am carrying. I know Hlanga is going to lose it when he finds out that I left and I’m all alone here. I know I shouldn’t worry about what he’s going to think but this is also his child and he deserves to experience what is happening since I am carrying our child. God my son, he’s alone with his aunt because his mother decided to desert him while his father is in hospital. Who the hell does that? What have I become because this isn’t me.

“Penny for your thoughts?”
“I’m thinking about my son. His father is lying in hospital and I just left. What kind of mother am I?”
“I don’t know what you’re going through at the moment but I can tell that a lot is on your mind and you regret coming here, especially since you say you left your son behind. If I were to put myself in your son’s shoes, it would have hurt me to know that you left. No matter what reason it may have been, I would feel alone right now because my mom is not here to comfort me while my father is in hospital” “He was supposed to come with me, I had arranged everything with his School but when it was time to leave, he said he wanted to be there when his father wakes up”

He looks outside the window while the car is moving, taking me to my rental house. “What did he do to lend himself to the hospital?”
“My father shot him because he hurt me”
“Wow, he must have done something that was really bad.”
“Yes, it was bad but not compared to what my ex-husband did. He watched me all those years going through something traumatic and he never did anything but this one time Hlanga messes up, he decides to shoot him? Why him and not his brother?”
“Wait, are you telling me that you were married to one brother then you got divorced I assume then you went and got in a relationship with his brother and got pregnant by him?”
“It’s a long complicated story but I was in a relationship with Hlanga first before our fathers fxcked our lives up and I ended up being in a relationship with his younger brother. Stayed married to him for 10 regrettable years. Got divorced then I went back to the love of my life. The only man I have ever truly loved.”
“You still love him even after he hurt you the way he did?”
“I do love him, it’s just that I am angry at him for how he went about doing things”

“Can I offer you some advice?”
“I think you are going to tell me anyway”
He chuckles. “I’m 40 years old and my mother has just come back into my life after 19 years. We thought she was dead along with my little sister who’s going to be 20 years soon. Life without her was hard, we all changed and my father tried to give us the best of everything and our aunt also helped. She tried and did her best to play the motherly role to us but it was not the same because she wasn’t her.
Dad took it hard because he never got to hold my little sister Amara or even hold her before she was kidnaped then they faked her death and my mother’s death. It was my mother’s own blood sister and her friends who did that and we didn’t know until just a few months ago.” He looks at me then slowly shakes his head.

It feels like he has been wanting to talk about it with someone else,  other than a stranger who won’t judge you and will just listen to you. “ I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine what you must be going through ""That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that she put my mother in a mental institution, my little sister was being raised in a fxcken orphanage while we thought they were dead. They were there, living a life neither of them wanted for each other or their children but because her sister was jealous of what my mother had, she made sure that she would take away the one thing she loved the most, her family.
She laughed with us, cried with us and comforted us knowing very well that she was the source and cause of our pain. My little sister suffers from anxiety and panic attacks because of what she went through while living there. Dad blames himself for everything and it is a mess Emy. Sometimes I feel like we are never going to be what were before, all of us together and happy”
I find myself linking his hand with mine and it takes us both by surprise. “It’s going to be okay. You will all be okay and pull through this. It is going to take time but you will get through it”
“I wasn’t telling you this so you can feel sorry for me but I want you to realise that you got a second chance to be with the man you love after being kept apart for years. My father also has a second chance to be with his wife again and be happy. Many people don’t get to have second chances like this so don’t let stupid or minor things take away the love and happiness you have for him. Ask yourself this, is what he did so unforgivable that walking away is the best thing to do for yourself and your children?”

Wow I wasn’t expecting this “Do you love him enough to forgive him for hurting you? What are the things you are willing to overlook and forgive and what isn’t forgivable in your eyes because if what he did breaks every promise he made to you then by all means, walk away from him, he’s not worth it”

I totally understand what he’s saying and me walking away from him was kind of like what he did breaks every promise he made to me of which is not true. Yes he messed up but did I make the right decision by breaking things off with him. I try to pull my hand from him but he holds it tighter.
“Watching my father mourn my mother all these years was hard. He couldn’t let any woman close to him no matter how hard he tried because my mother was still his soulmate. I’m happy she’s back in his life and I know they will have more than what they had before. Emy, it’s clear that you still have some resolved issues with your man so talk it out, fix things and maybe if he’s worth it then fight for him and if he’s not worth any stress or drama in your life, walk away from him. Any man would be lucky to have someone like you”

“You don’t know me Nasir, maybe I’m”
“Emihle, Mdakane. I study people, I make sure I know everything I want to know about someone when I decide that I would like to know them and you…I know a lot and like I said. You are a kind and loving woman and any man would be lucky to have you in their lives, a man like me.”
I pull my hand and this time he lets me. The car stops outside the gate and I see Eric’s car parked inside the yard. Of course he would know the code. I press my remote and the gate opens and they drive in. It’s totally late and I need to sleep. Eric frowns as he sees Nasir’s driver step out. They look at each other as the guy comes and opens my side of the door. I step out and Nasir does too on his side.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine. I’m sorry I worried you”
“It’s okay. Thank you Mr Hadid for bringing her home safe” hmm, so he knows who Nasir is.
“It was my pleasure. Will you two excuse us” it wasn’t a question. Eric looks at me and I nod.

They give us privacy. “I would like to stay and make sure you are okay. Tell Eric he can go home and come back in the morning”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea”
“Why, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re pregnant and alone, someone needs to take care of you”
“My sister is coming tomorrow so I will be fine”
“Then I’ll leave once she arrives”
“Nasir….”
He steps closer to me with his big body, blankets my body making me think of Hlanga and the many times he would be looking at me. I take a step back because it feels wrong, being with Nasir like this feels like I am cheating on Hlanga and I don’t like how it makes me feel. I shift my head and look at him but he says something before I could.

“I’m not trying to be the man you ran away from me. I’m just trying to be a ... .I'm not a gentleman, Emihle. I’m a man who knows what he wants and I want to know you better. I want to be here for you while you’re going through this tough period”
“I’m not the woman you want….”
“You are exactly what I need in my life. Look, I'm not going to put you under pressure or force you to make a decision right now because you’re pregnant and you still have a lot to resolve with your ex. You might be right when you say I don’t know you and I respect that so I’ll give you time until you give birth to this person you are carrying then, I am coming after you. For his sake, I hope he will leave you alone or you will walk away from him because once I come for you no one will stand in my way”
He sounds so sure of himself, he obviously doesn’t know who Hlanga is. “You don’t know the father of my children Nasir. He is dangerous”
“Mr M. That’s what they call him right?” I cock my head at him.
“If you know him then you’ll know what he’s capable of. No one messes with the people he loves”
“But only you because that’s why your father shot him right?”
I smirk. “Hlanga is a very smart and calculated man. He knew exactly what my father was going to do and my father played right into his hands. If my father wanted Hlanga dead, he would have killed him because he never misses, EVER.”
“The great former judge Mdakane from the notorious family. We have used your family’s resources and I bet my uncle Ngcebo knows him. Maybe we’ll pay your family a visit”
“Who are you Nasir?” “Your future husband and father to all your children. It’s getting cold. Get inside and I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Your food and medication are inside. Please eat your food and drink your medication. If you happen to get sick during the night, don’t hesitate to call me. I programmed my number in your phone. Good night”

He takes me by surprise and plants a quick kiss on my cheek. I head inside my house without looking back. The aroma that is inside makes my mouth water. Before I close the door, I see Eric talking with Nasir and nodding his head a lot, making me wonder what he is saying to him. I take off my shoes and head to the kitchen and see many containers of food. I open them and it is all home cooked food. I smile because I wasn’t expecting it. Eric walks in while I’m plating.
“You can plate for yourself if you want”
“Thank you ma’am.” He stands there looking unsure.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Your brother called just before you arrived. He said your phone was off…” It is? I didn’t check it after I sent Pale a message and Aya might have called me. God! I check my phone from my handbag and fish for my phone and indeed it has switched off. I head to the sitting room and charge it. 1%, I’ll check it after I’m done eating. I head back to the kitchen, Eric follows me.
“What did he say?” I stuff my mouth with the stew and I swear my heart jumps because it tastes so good. I wonder who cooked it.
“He said, Mr M woke up an hour ago.” I heave a deep sigh.
“Thank you Eric, was that all?”
“Yes ma’am, I was about to call him and tell him you’re missing”
“Thank God you didn’t because he here I am. Safe and sound”

He keeps quiet. “You can go home now since you’re not eating. I’ll be fine”
“Okay ma’am….”
“Yoh Eric, if you call me ma’am one more time, I swear I’m going to scream your ear off or get you fired for spying for my brother”
“Good night Emihle”
“You too”

He rubs his head then walks out. I finish eating my food, put the leftovers in the fridge then switch the lights off and head to my bedroom carrying my pills and phone. I drink the sealed pills then take off the clothes I’m wearing and get in bed. I power my phone back on again and a flood of messages come in about Hlanga being awake, a call comes in from an unknown number. I ignore it because I know it's Collen. It rings again and I decide to answer it.
“Collen, I told you to stop calling me and if you don’t stop. I swear to God I’m going to Hlanga, that you’re harassing me and turning into a stalker!”
“He’s been stalking you?”
My breath hitches. “Hlanga? You’re awake”
“How long has he been stalking you?”
I heave a deep sigh. “Since the ceremony at work.”
“I’ll deal with him. How are you?”
“I should be asking you that, you sound like you’re in pain”
“Oh this little thing, I’ve had worse and I deserve it. How is our baby treating you?”

“Oh this little person…” I make myself comfortable on the bed. “…I was sick last night and earlier today but I’m fine now, I saw a doctor and she gave me something”
“I’m sorry you had no one there to take care of you. I can fly your mom and my aunts to take care of you until you no longer need them”
“That’s okay, my sister is coming here tomorrow” I don’t tell him that I regret coming here to be by myself and I’ll be home sooner than he thinks.

“Emy….” He pauses. No one calls my name the way he does and I love it.
“I’m happy that you’re okay and not dead”
“Nah, your father would have killed me if he wanted to. He was just teaching me a lesson”
“A lesson he failed to teach Andile”
“He didn’t expect me to do what I did, he let his anger take over and I understand”
“And you knew he might do that right?”
“Beat me up? Yes but shoot me? No. Don’t be angry at him”
“You could have died Hlanga and I would have been forced to raise our children alone, I can’t do that. I won’t do that”
“And you won’t ever have to. I’m not going anywhere”

I keep quiet. It’s so good to hear his voice and know that he is okay. “How did you get hold of a phone because I know you’re not allowed to have one?”
“I had to make a plan because I wanted to know if you’re okay” “I am okay” I yawn.
“Let me not keep you then and let you sleep”
“How is our son?”
“He’s happy that I am awake”
“And Isabella?”
“Zonke said she’s okay, better than yesterday. Thank you for asking”
“When are they discharging you?”
“I’m not sure”
“Okay, get better soon. Your children need you”
“My whole family needs me and I need them very much” I keep quiet. “ Maka’ Aya” I smile.

“Yebo Gwabini”
“Thank you for taking my call”
“I’m happy to hear that you are okay”
“Ngiyabonga mama. Ulale kahle”

I’m about to answer him when I feel the baby moving. Oh my God. I have never felt my baby moving or playing. Wow.
“You’re not going to believe what just happened”
“Are you okay?”
“I am, the baby has just moved for the very first time” I giggle.
“Are you serious?”
“I am, oh my god, she’s moving again”
“You said she, how sure are you?”
“I’m not sure, I’m tired of calling her baby”
“We should think names then”
“Yeah we must”
“Ok mama, let me not keep you. Ulale kahle maMdakane”
“Nawe futhi gwabini”

We both don’t hang up. We keep quiet then I decide to finally hang up. I get up, search for the scan in my handbag then take pictures and send them to him. He replies after a while and says Thank you. I know it was not his first time getting shot at but this time, he sounded so different like I’m talking to someone new.