𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 // 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻

029

Pep Rally's were never super comfortable for me.
Loud noises mixed with bright colours and potentially rude people weren't my ideal way to spend time. Last year they were more entertaining, because last year despite my past distain, my eyes would always drift towards the same basketball player. And now he was by my side in the bleachers.

It was strange, the slight changes I'd noticed since me and Steve officially started dating.
The first day I came to school after that summer was filled with whispers and attention as well as the sudden kindness from passers by in the hallway, even now I still experience the same treatment and even now I'm still not used to it.
Strangers say hello to Steve as we move through the bleachers trying to find a place to stand and watch Robin play in band.

I quit band and choir earlier this year.
At some point they started to become exhausting, sleep running after me like a lion to its prey as I tried to catch every note. So instead I'd go home and sleep for an hour and be awake the rest of the night. I don't know when that started happening really..
There was only one club I couldn't quit and that's cause the leader wouldn't let me. He was adamant I stayed.

Miss Kelly spots me in the crowd and waves, making her way over as I lean my head down, hoping to hide from her gaze.
The principle had been trying to get me to go to her sessions for weeks now, but.. I don't know it felt like some kind of betrayal.. to Miss Cook...

"Miss White!" She smiles gracefully as she stands in front of me and Steve, taking him in with a small smile as well, "Mr Harrington," he nods politely in her direction, "Miss Kelly, it's been a while," my brows furrow at that.

"Can I steal your girlfriend for a quick moment?" Her smile is so shiny it blinds me slightly and her lips twitch a little as the words fly out, I give Steve a pleading look desperately hoping he'll say no, but he just gives me a sympathetic smile and assures Miss Kelly it's fine.

She takes me to the corner of the room away from the spot me and Steve had just managed to climb into. I can't help but notice the stares as I step into the corner with the schools councillor. Only disadvantage to no longer being invisible.. there was always eyes on you.
A certain face catches my eye in the doorway of the school gym, stopping slowly as he walks past, clearly not interested in the pep rally. But before I can confirm my suspicions on who it is, there's just a mop of dark hair walking away.

"I hear you've declined my invitation for sessions.. once more." Miss Kelly's words snap me back to reality, an irritation running through my chest and causing a small shake throughout my blood stream. "I understand it's hard to move on to a new councillor Ruby but.. that's exactly why you need to."

As always it's the same conversation.

"Ruby White you need to speak to the school councillor. Grief is a serious thing."

"And what with your mother the way she is? You've suffered so much loss Miss White."

"And what's this about you quitting choir? Why did you quit Choir?"

"I recommend you see Miss Kelly right away Miss White! Right away!"

The principal never seems to leave me alone. He's been trying to get me in Miss Kelly's sessions for a while now, but so has she. Apparently I'm an 'at risk' student.
But I don't feel at risk, I feel so much better and brighter than before, confidence and happiness wise I'm the best I've ever been, I know I've improved.

But there is still that tugging of loss in my heart.

"Thank you Miss Kelly but I'm fine!" Not a complete lie.
She sighs softly and flattens her mouth  in desperation, stern as ever, "Miss White please just see me in my office at lunch okay? I'll discuss this more with you then."