𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 // 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻

011

"So Steve Harrington has driven you twice now?" My therapist spoke as she leant back in her chair, a smirk threatening its way onto her face.

"Yes..?" I question, not understand whatever she could be implying, a hand running through my hair in frustration.

"Mhmm.." she's fully smirking now and I lean forward chuckling, "whatttt?" She just smiles at me, a big bright smile as if she's never been happier to hear about my life, "nothing! I didn't say anything!" Her hands are put up in defence.

She leans forward and rests her arm on her knee, her hands resting on her chin as she taps her manicured fingers against her face, "And was this before or after he said he liked you?" I feel myself go bright red as I automatically turn on defence mode, "wh-what! No! He said he liked my clothes!"

She laughed, "back in my day that was the same thing!" I feel myself shaking my head as I begin to pick on the skin around my fingers once again, I hadn't done that for a while, "Steve doesn't like me.. he's still pining after Nancy Wheeler.."

She shifted in her seat, "Nancy wheeler.." I could tell she was racking her brain, "that's the girl Barb became friends with?"
I nodded shyly, fingers still picking.
"Did Steven.. have a past with this young woman?"

An exasperated sigh came from my lips, that's a way to put it, "they used to date, the two were constantly off and on again," there was a pause, "not that I knew much about it!"
Lie.
I listened to every piece of gossip in those school hallways, anything to take my mind off of things.
The fact that the gossip was about Steve did help though.

Miss Cook seemed to work this out as well as she gave me that same look she always did, the one to say she knew I was lying.
"So why do you think he still loves her?"

It was my turn to shift in my seat as I thought over the past couple days, "I don't know.. just.. the way he looks at her?"
Miss cook chuckled, "you know, he could be looking at you the same, you just can't see it."

"Well I mean.. I don't even want him to so.." another lie, another look from Miss Cook.
I sigh, a billion thoughts in my head, "i'm not like Nancy Wheeler.. not enough anyways," I feel my breath beginning to shake, "she's.. nerdy but.. people like her you know? She's not so awkward that she gets notes in her locker calling her.." I let go, shaking off the words as they filled into my head, "horrible things.."

Miss cook just nodded at me, as if to say carry on, "No. No, instead Nancy Wheeler is well liked, pristine and- and pretty." In the last couple days, I'd completely forgotten all about those words Steve spoke in 83, the way my cheeks flushed in embarrassment and how I would gag when passing my reflection.
No.. I spent way to much time avoiding mirrors to be Nancy wheeler.

So with a sigh, I further exclaimed,
"And Nancy Wheeler never had Steve Harrington call her ugly.."

All those nights spent with Steve Harrington, where we'd joke and he'd drive me home didn't change the fact that he could be looking at me as if I were still that girl in 83', still the same nerd he barely gave a glance unless to humiliate.

But Miss Cook just gave me a small smile, "you know, in a way all women are alike," I looked up at her from where my eyes had focused on my hands, my fingers still picking at the skin around my thumb, "you may not feel like you are as good as this Nancy, maybe because your whole life you've felt like she's the better version of you," as she spoke I realised she was right.
Nancy had Steve, but Nancy had also had Barb.

"But Ruby you are just as good as this woman, in fact I'm sure if you met her you'd find you had a lot in common," I couldn't disagree there, maybe Nancy Wheeler could be a friend if I tried.