xanny - billie eilish gxg ff

twenty

ellysa

i didn't sleep much tonight, i was up all night trying to figure myself out. i had a belly and a headache which made me sleep less.

i never noticed how much i admired billie until last night.

after lani fall asleep, i basically just cried. either in her bathroom, or turning my back to her and in her bed.

i fell asleep around 5am, and didn't woke up until 4pm.

she made lunch but i couldn't eat much. i felt like throwing up. all i wanted to do was crying or being in billie's arms.

which we know won't happen.

i checked my phone. 47 texts and 21 unanswered calls from billie. i didn't opened the texts, i just read it on my screen.

"lisa please dont do this like this"

"lisa i am trying"

"talk to me please"

"are you with lani?"

"you are with her right?"

"can we talk after you woke up"

"i need to talk to you"

i turned off my location and put on my do not disturb i don't want to talk to anyone.

lani hugged me as she sat down next to me on the couch. i put my head on her shoulder and we watched a movie like this.

lani's phone was ringing, it was billie.

"do not fucking pick up." i said aggressively. i don't want to hear one word from billie.

i don't want my best friend to talk to her when she hurt me.

"i am curious what she wants."

"she wants to know where i am. do not fucking pick up lani i swear to fucking god."

lani looked at me then back at the phone, she picked up.

"fuck you." i said making sure that billie can hear me through the phone. i stood up from her and walked to the bathroom, i had to pee anyways.

i look at myself in the mirror, you know what i see?

my seventeen years old self who was at her lowest.

i peed and washed my hands then went back to the room. "what did she want?" i asked making sure that she knows that i am so pissed off of her right now.

"she asked me if i knew where you were, and how are you."

"what did you say?"

"that you are with me and sad but okay."

"okay."

i sat back and she put my plate where the rest of my food was in front of me. "go ahead"