Blossoms of the Dark Continued

CXCVII Selene: Coffee

Announcement:

I won't give names, but shoutout to the reader who suggested to actually write out this crackhead conversation. I hope all of you learn how to make a decent cup of coffee after this, since I had to delve into a rabbit hole of coffee making recipes.

Also, I hope this chapter teaches you why you should practice safe drinking.

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Trigger Warning:

- alcohol abuse

- alcohol poisoning

- biochemistry (Because I have no idea what grades you got in biochem class, and some of your brains might hurt from the info dump.)

- body-shaming

- slightly crude language

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When I told Daruma-san to speak utter nonsense for three minutes, I did not expect him to take me seriously.

There really is a limit to how much rubbish one should blabber.

I mean, I am not sure for how much longer I can contain my laughter.

It is amazing how much an aged person can talk.

As per our strategy, Daruma-san is using a private number to waste three minutes, and I am responding with the occasional request to have a meeting with him. Should seem easy enough. And it would, were I alone.

Dressmakers and fashion designers are gathered in a guest room to take my measurements for a new customized wardrobe. Personally, I believe that I have plenty of professional clothes already, but Hanada-sama told his butler that for my business debut, a new assortment was needed. By proxy, his butler told me. In other words, Hanada-sama intended to once more drink himself near death all day. If only you could actually die instead of hovering on the precipice between life and death ... Would really save me some effort.

Speaking of alcohol, I implemented Ahearn-san's advice. Some insight from Daruma-san and a little research of my own led me to strategize to slowly assassinate Hanada-sama. The method is my favorite: poison.

First, a bit of scientific background.

Alcohol is essentially a toxin to the human body. One of the functions of the liver is to break down toxins. After a drink, the stomach begins to digest the contents, releasing alcohol into the bloodstream. Breathalyzers test for the concentration of this chemical. Remember the 0.08% law?

Well, there are many factors that influence how quickly the intoxication takes effect such as the quantity of alcohol in the drink, carbonation involved in the making of the drink, and whether the drink is consumed on a full or empty stomach. Even genetics has a factor on how much of a light-weight or heavy-weight one is.

The consistency, however, is in the process by which the toxin is removed from the body.

Two metabolic pathways exist in the liver to contend with this dilemma; both are interconnected. Since ethanol is the primary alcohol constituent in liquor, two particular enzymes have been evolutionarily designed to break it down: alcohol dehydrogenase and aldehyde dehydrogenase. Similar sounding names, I know, but do try to separate them. Alcohol dehydrogenase catabolizes ethanol into acetaldehyde intermediate, and aldehyde dehydrogenase rapidly converts the intermediate into acetate. Other pathways assist in converting acetate into carbon dioxide and water, thus excreting the alcohol from the human body.