Blossoms of the Dark Continued

CCXI Selene: Labyrinth

Trigger Warning:

- mention of abuse

- mention of sexual assault

- mention of rape

- threat of sexual assault

- crude language

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At the start of my journey in U.A., had someone told me that one-and-a-half years later I would be planning my escape, I would have scoffed at that person's claims.

Yet here I am.

Intentionally ignoring all the ways this could go awry and instead putting my faith into Shouto.

Whenever I tried to flee or sought help from someone else, the results were never good. I had lost hope that I could. But so many experiences have forced me to believe there is a future in store for me. Shigaraki, Kurogiri, All for One, the rest of the League. Aunt Ahearn, Calliope, Thalia, Ourania. Sasaki-san. And Shouto. There are people who care about me. Who think I have more worth than a prostitute.

I glance at Shouto.

He packs my stationery into a suitcase.

At least those who know that I was one.

It has been a little over than a week since that ... that incident. But it still marvels me that Shouto has been nothing but endearing toward me. Perhaps I should have expected that when he first deduced that I was a sexual assault victim. At that time, he did not resent me or blame me for my trauma. Same thing this time. It was my greatest fear that he would. So much so that when I saw Miyamoto-san in him, I was convinced that he would want to have absolutely nothing to do with me.

Why did I assume the worst? Especially when I have already witnessed that Shouto is not prejudiced like that? Before he narrowed my trauma to sexual assault, he had figured out that I was being abused like him. He strove to do his best to become someone I could relax with. Maybe because I have already been let down so many times by Hanada-sama that I have come to internalize his verbal abuse. I place a stack of dresses inside another suitcase. He told me my value lied in giving a man sexual pleasure. I believed him. My trousers go in. He told me children orphaned at birth did not deserve to be loved. I believed him. There is room for some shirts. He told me that a girl who cannot walk straight cannot achieve anything in life. I believed him. As much as I despised him, his words stuck with me.

Then I met all these people. They showed me that Hanada-sama was wrong. Just because I could not move ten seconds without support did not mean that aspirations and dreams were out of reach. Being alone did not mean I should be deprived of care and camaraderie. Perhaps the most important was that a girl deserves more power and agency than simply being used for her body. Shouto was the first person to make me realize all that.

Perhaps I should finally tell him the truth about myself. About the prostitution, rape, and scars. Maybe begin with my actual quirk. He has been nothing but honest with me about his trauma. If his past behavior is anything to go by, I do not think he will be repulsed by me. The least he deserves is the same honesty and communication from me.

At the same time, I feel remorseful. He has done so much for me, and yet how am I repaying him? A hero and a villain. The savior and the slaughterer. We were doomed from the very start. But I cannot back out now. Neither can he. So I try my best to be as supportive and understanding as possible. It will never be enough to make up for my sins, though.

My fingers stroke the covers of the manga trilogy he had given me for my fifteenth birthday. The only books I managed to smuggle out of the old room before shifting here. They are my treasures, but looking at them only amplifies the guilt. I set them inside the same suitcase.