Suffering, Silenced ~[A Tokio Hotel Story]~

A New Day |4

My body is rested upon a soft mattress. The duvet feels silky smooth on my rough skin. An alarm clock rung loudly, causing me to toss my body to the other side of the bed. Daria has seemed to only just wake up from the alarm. I let out a yawn as I stretched to eventually sit myself up in the bed. I leant my body against the head board on the bed and adjusted to my blurry vision. The morning sunlight shone through the curtains of Daria's large window that reached the floor. I carefully lifted myself from her bed and onto her soft grey carpet. Daria followed on behind me.

"Hey Kristina good morning." She says before letting out a yawn.

"Good morning, Daria." I reply, "Thank you so much for letting me stay here and come with you to Germany. I am so glad to stay here with you and your parents instead of my dad."

"No problem!" She answers, "You are a great friend and my parents love you! They treat you like you're their own child."

I hesitate slightly.

"Hey Daria.. Um.." I stutter before taking a deep breath. "Are you just friends with me because you feel bad? I mean.. Ugh. Sorry... It's just I don't want to be forcing you to like me. I understand if this is what you are doing. I get it..."

Daria stares at me.

"Girl... You know I love you!!" She yells enthusiastically, "You're my best friend and I like you for who you are, and no one is forcing me. I don't know whats getting to you. You really don't need to worry... After all you need to get all this stress off your back. I am worried for you; especially your mental state. I don't want anything happening to you; my best friend."

I slowly begin to smile and feel myself go slightly red. This is awful. I'm so dumb... She's just my friend, She won't like me in any other way... Besides, my hazelnut eyes look like shit. Not to mention my hair. Its short and messed up, most days its left unbrushed. My skin is pale and I'm so skinny you can see my bones... My scars are a light purple and are visible. I just hate myself. She would never like a girl like me even if she was attracted to girls. I don't think any man would want me either. I mean who actually wants me in general? Daria is the only person I have. The only person I have left. The only reason I'm still living. But she doesn't love me in that way... It slightly pains me. But I guess you can't have everything in life.

"You hungry Kris?" Daria questions.

"Hm? Oh uh. Yeah, I haven't had anything to eat for a couple days except some crisps, gum and water." I reply quietly.

"Ok!! Well my mom is in the kitchen right now making pancakes, what spread do you want with it?" She asks,"We have Nutella, jam or do you want to have it plain with powdered sugar?"

"Can I have all three? Or is that too much...? Or am I being too rude... I'm sorry, uh. You know what never mind. Actually-" I reply before getting shortly cut off by Daria.

"Don't stress!!! Of course you can have all three you silly girl. Don't be afraid to ask. We don't mind at all, make yourself at home." She reassures me.

I sigh a breath of relief. I just need to calm down slightly, I'm overreacting. I look around Darias room and see her phone. I hesitate before asking her something.

"Daria, can I maybe listen to some music whilst the pancakes are getting prepared for us? Hope you don't mind."

"Yeah! Of course. Whatcha wanna listen to girl? Let me guess Tokiohotel?!" She says excitedly, "Wanna listen to Monsoon? Its a good song!"

I nod my head and take one headphone from her and put it into my ear. The music started playing and started with a guitar. I immediately relaxed to the soothing tune. This song gave me the same feeling like "Don't Jump". The chorus was soon embedded into my mind, I loved it, it was catchy. I stare at Daria, just admiring who she is and how she introduced me to this amazing band. This just made me love her more, I can't lie but I really wanted to know what other songs this band made. I just loved the feeling they gave me when I listen to the music they make. But the feeling was stopped soon after I heard Daria's mother call us downstairs for our pancakes. Daria switches the music off and we place the headphones back onto her white desk. I gather myself and we both go down the carpeted staircase. Soon we reach the bottom of the stairs. I am met with a shiny hardwood floor that reflected the rays of sunlight coming from the balcony window. We walk through a short hallway of pictures and reach the kitchen. Daria's parents were wealthy, so her house was well decorated. The floors and walls of the kitchen were covered in white marble and the countertops were a shiny oak. Behind it was Darias mom preparing our pancakes onto shiny white plates. She opened the large fridge to take out the Nutella and jam. Daria walks over to her and hugs her to say good morning. I stare as she hugs her mom tight, my body slightly droops onto the counter top to sit on the seat behind it. Daria comes over and sits next to me, she looks at me and smiles. Eventually her mom finishes the pancakes up and places them in front of us. I look hungrily getting ready to dig in. I grab my fork and then my knife. I stare at the knife for a second... My eyes focus onto it but my mind is wanting to put it away. Come on Kristina. Why are you like this. You don't want it to end this way again do you? I take a deep breath in and look away and shift my focus on the pancakes.

"Wow this looks great, Thank you Daria's mother" I say before digging in.

"Thanks mom!!" Daria exclaims.

After a couple minutes we both finish our pancakes and I thank Daria's mom once again. She takes our plates and places it into a dishwasher before turning to us to say something.

"Soo!! I heard you are coming along with Daria to Germany to see umm... Tokio motel?..." Daria's mom asks unsure.

"Yes I am. I think Tokio hotel is a great band that makes good songs so I'm glad I'm going. Especially with Daria! I am so thankful." I reply positively.

"Yes well you girls will have to wake up early tomorrow morning to fly to Germany then. Therefore you can spend a couple days there before going to the concert. Germany is such a beautiful country, I'm sure 3 months will be enough for you two. It's like a holiday." Daria's mom answers.

"Thanks mom for this! We are gonna have so much fun! Aren't we Kris?!" Daria shrieks in excitement.

I nod happily and we end up going to a park to hang out for the rest of the day. When we came back, Daria sets an alarm for us to wake up early tomorrow. We listened to a few Tokio hotel songs she introduced to me. We had a great time, I felt so happy. I was ecstatic to leave for Germany to see the band that cures my sadness; live aswell! Later me and Daria eventually fell asleep to the tune in our ears. The soft pillow that rested my head pulled me into a sweet slumber. And I dreamt happy. I dreamt about how happy I would be if this lasted forever.