Suffering, Silenced ~[A Tokio Hotel Story]~

Tell Me |34

I took my time going down the long flight of stairs. My heart races, my mind feeling confused. I really didn't know if Gustav just sympathised me at that moment, or if Tom really loves me. I was so eager to found out... I couldn't make it obvious that Gustav told me, because I don't want another conflict situation. Maybe he will tell me eventually... But what if he won't? Ugh... Thinking about it makes me feel weird.

I finally came to the bottom floor. I walked over to the kitchen, greeting the employers who cooked food there as I walked into the VIP room. I come into the room to find Tom and Georg laughing and eating. They notice me shortly after.

Georg and Tom both waved at me.

"Oh! Kristina! Hey, what took you so long?" Tom smiled as I sat down next to him. My heart fluttered as he did so.

"Hey Tom and Georg... Gustav was feeling sick so I went back to my room to fetch him some water and paracetamol." I sigh before rolling my eyes, "When I came back into my room, it looked like I interrupted something between Bill and Daria." My voice was a little shaky, but I quickly concealed it by coughing slightly.

"Ugh... Not them. They're always like snogging and shit..." Tom replies, "They're so lucky though, they have quite a healthy relationship with a strong love towards each-over."

Georg nods, "Yeah, Bill's lucky, I never had a relationship that healthy before."

I look down taking subtle deep breaths to keep myself from crying, I was happy for Daria and Bill. It's just I know it's going to hurt for me, I've always loved her.

"Kristina are you alright?" Tom questioned, looking concerned, "Ever since Daria and Bill got together you have been acting a little bit unusual."

Oh god I hated that question. "Yeah sorry. No it's fine. I'm happy for her."

Georg and Tom look at each-over before turning back to face me.

"You can tell me..." Tom suggests.

"Or me!" Georg yells enthusiastically, before realising that this enthusiasm wasn't necessary, he quietened down.

I laughed it off, "It's really nothing... Just uh... My... Period."

Tom and Georg nodded their heads quickly, "Ohh... That explains it." Georg leans towards Tom and whispers, "...What is a period and how the fuck does it work...?"

"Georg what the fuck!" Tom laughs, "You clearly paid no attention in sex ed class..."

"...We had sex ed?..." Georg replies, confused.

"You would've known if you haven't skipped like... Every single class." Tom tuts, imitating a disappointed teachers expression.

We all laugh and settle down. Tom looks at me again, "Kris I saved you something to eat!" He smiles as he hands me a pan aux chocolat.

"Oh... Thanks Tom!" I replied as I took the pastry from his hand, "I was really hungry..."

"No problem." Tom smiles before giving a quick glance at Georg and immediately looking back at me.

My heart fluttered, it being confused at the same time. I know I would never have Daria, but I didn't know that someone else possibly likes me. I was so eager to know wether Tom had feelings for me or not... I had to ask.

"Tom?..." I mumble slightly scared of the reaction.

"Yes?" Tom replied politely, keeping eye contact.

I look over to Georg, "Uh... Georg can I just say something to Tom real quick?"

Georg looks at me confused before exchanging quick smiles with Tom, "Are you guys gonna talk smack about me or what?"

I laugh, "No... Nothing like that. I just want to ask Tom something."

Georg nodded and left the VIP room a couple seconds later. Now it was just me and Tom. The tension in the atmosphere got stronger and tenser... It was so awkward and I was so nervous... But it was better to try then never know. I mentally prepared myself as I stuttered a little trying to think of a reasonable place to start. Ever since Gustav told me about Tom's so called "feelings", I was rehearsing many scenarios in my head and what I was going to say. I just really wanted to know. One part of me was absolutely terrified, but the other was encouraging me to at-least ask. After all, I don't want to take things the wrong way by accident. I took one last deep breath before finally speaking.

"Tom... I... Uhm..." I stuttered, trying to gather all the courage I could, "I've heard from a friend from a friend that..."

Tom became flustered, "...What? What did you hear?" His tone sort of frantic in a way.

I cleared my throat, "...That you... Uhm... Like me?"

"What?... Like... Like like you?" He said, fumbling on his words, he lowers his voice, "...Who told you that?!"

"...It doesn't matter... I just want to know..." I mumbled, regretting trying.

The atmosphere suffocated us both as we both drowned in the deepest depths of embarrassment. This was probably the most socially awkward moments in my life, I wanted to run away and shut myself into a pitch black room. We both stared at eachover for what seemed like eternity, just waiting for someone to break the tension.

My heart was beating so fast that I just gave up, "Im sorry! I shouldn't have asked! Sorry!" I stood up and excused myself before trying to run out of the room. I heard a voice.

"I do!"

I turn around to see Tom standing up, "Fine... I do... I really really like you Kris... I understand if you don't feel the same way. I was planning to tell you but I was too scared... I love you."

I was taken aback, I was in disbelief. I got away from the door and sat back down, "...Do you really?..."

"Yes..." He mumbles before putting his hands up to his face, "I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to ruin the friendship we had..." He said through the sound of muffling of his hands.

I was silent, all I could do was let out nothing more but a smile. I came closer to Tom and put my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder to hug him. He seemed surprised but hugged me back.

"I have never been told by someone that they love me" I whisper as tears well up in my eyes, "...I love you too."

My heart felt warm and fuzzy inside, I think I have come to the fact to realise there was someone out there for me. I just didn't know until now.

"Are you guys finished?! I want to finish my egg!" Georg yells behind the shut door.

Me and Tom both get off each-over. All I could do was smile, and he did too.

"I'm going to go to my room..." Tom said, standing up to go and open the door for Georg.

"All right I will go to my room aswell... Only if Bill and Daria are finished..." I sigh.

"All right then, let's go!" Tom smiles as he opens the door for Georg.

"You guys are leaving as soon as I'm allowed back in?! Seriously?! Ugh." Georg mumbles as me and Tom walk away giggling.