Suffering, Silenced ~[A Tokio Hotel Story]~

Tiredness |19

I wake up, my head aching horrendously. I've had zero sleep and waking up was difficult. Last night was awful... I should have knew what the aftermath of staying that late would've been. I guess I have to cope and get myself a coffee from the cafeteria.

I turn my head to face the mirror, not surprisingly, my eye-bags got heavier and worse from what they were before. I sighed. Maybe Daria would let me borrow some concealer... I heave myself off the bed, I struggled a bit before actually getting out. I slide on my slippers and walk over to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I approach the kitchen cabinets and get myself a glass cup. I sigh and go over to the sink to fill it up. I look beside me to see the cigarette filter and tobacco laying on the counter beside the microwave; when it hit me. Shit... I told myself I was going to quit for good. I let out an annoyed grunt, angry at myself. Why was it so hard to quit? I hate addictions. I hide them behind the microwave as it originally had been and drink the water from the glass. My throat felt tightened as the water slid down my dry throat making me tremble slightly. My body let out a small shiver once I swallowed it. I knew this day isn't going to be as good...

Daria's POV:

My eyes open slowly, gently attacked by the incoming rays from the sun outside, making me wince. I placed my hand on my forehead and squint my eyes before getting out of bed. I look to see that Kristina isn't there, she's up early. Shortly, I walk to the kitchen to see Kristina with a glass in her hand.

"Oh hey, Kristina. Good morning, you're up early!" I say with a smile, to realise she looked absolutely awful, "Oh god... Are you okay? You look like you've barely slept..."

"I'm okay." She said briskly, "Good morning."

I couldn't help but notice the heavy black, purple eye-bags. I couldn't help but feel bad, something was going on for sure. My thoughts were shortly paused as I look onto the counter.

"...Kristina? What is that on the counter?..." I said, startled, "Is... Kristina... Are you smoking again?!..."

I can see her turn pale as soon as I said that. For fucksake... I felt tears submerge into my eyes.

"KRISTINA!" I yell, "WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON, TAKING THIS WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE AND KILL YOU. WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND!?"

Kristina's eyes start to gloss up as she stares at me in silence. She walks past me her eyes empty and her eye-bags standing out dramatically. Her hair was unbrushed and messed up and her skin was dry. The moment she passed me I can smell the scent of cigarettes and gag under my breathe.

"That's the point isn't it?" She mumbles, before going to the bed, pulling out her suitcase and starting to get ready.

I stare in disbelief. She's getting worse, I really don't know where I'm going wrong... I walk over to the counter and get a glass out the cabinet when something caught my eye. I reached my hand out behind the microwave to reveal tobacco and filters for cigarettes. I swear to fucking god. Why won't she stop? Why does she want to die so fucking badly? I curse under my breath before stuffing it into my bra, I still had to get changed so I will keep them both there for now. I thought that taking her alongside with me to Germany would truly make her feel better but clearly I'm missing something. Something is making her feel this way, but I have zero clue what. I go over to the bed and pull out my suitcase to also start getting ready. I take glances at Kristina, and so does she, but we stay in silence.