Lucky Man (Fruk)

17

Once I left my room door, I slowly returned to where everyone was sitting.

I slumped onto my seat, and no one else bothered to look at me except Francis. I can tell he cared about me, to what extent was a mystery. Then again, how do I feel about him?

I slowly looked at him, causing him to turn away from me quickly. How do I feel about him? Actually? He was this random person who suddenly kissed me in the park. He had made room for himself in my life, had performed miracles as if he were Jesus, and he...

He cares about me very much.

When I was younger, when I first told my brothers, I was curious. They hated it. They thought it to be unnatural for men to feel that way for other men. No one I knew around me felt that way about men. Sure...I was sure Matthew and Alfred weren't the type to be hateful, but they weren't. Into men, I mean...

This is important.

I'm only bringing this up because...

Well...

As I look at him...I feel that...I feel as though being cared for by him will be the best thing to ever happen to me. This had nothing to do with him not being able to control his emotions and then being pushed on everyone. I genuinely believe that l, as ridiculous as it may sound...were meant to meet each other.

He cared for me...in a different way. He didn't have to like me romantically for me to know that. I was sure he didn't anyway. However, this was enough. I liked the feeling.

I really feel that because of it, I've only liked him a little more because he was the first person in a long time to show me attention that I hardly receive. It sounds pathetic and idiotic. There was no way for me to feel self-conscious of my own feelings because of this.

I liked what he could do, I thought this whole situation was interesting. I wished I was skilled enough to help more, but I wasn't. I'd rather stay out of their way and do what I always do.

But Francis...he keeps coming back to me.

I just...I like it.

And right as I grow used to his presence, he will be gone. I hadn't given him the chance for me to like him back. I was too scared of how it would make me look if we were to have gotten close. I felt as though I can't have close friends that were male because my brothers would give me that estranged look.

Especially with someone of his...nature.

He wasn't a simple, good-looking man.

He was...THE perfect...and I mean it...no sarcasm...he was THE perfect man. I would be lying to myself if I...

Wait a minute.

I felt my eyes widen as I turned away from him. This had to be him, right? This didn't seem like me at all.

Or maybe this was me?

Oh no, I'm losing my marbles.

I stood up, and once again, everyone stared at me. "Off to another adventure?" Alfred teased. I shook my head, trying to smile normally. "Francis, can I talk to you alone?" I asked.

"Oooo, someone's in trouble," they teased. Matthew and Alfred began to shove each other, making me roll my eyes playfully. Honestly, they act like children. Well...they are, I suppose.

Francis looked at me, astonished, not knowing what to say, but he nodded anyway. "Jolly good! Into my room, you go!" I sounded terrible. "Right, okay..." he spoke.

I did my best to ignore the looks the guys were giving me.  I gestured for Francis to go first, allowing me to turn back and glare at them. "Don't even say anything! I need to ask him something," I angrily whispered. They weren't stupid; they saw how comfortable Francis wanted to be with me.