AITA (Fanfic writes)

Am I the asshole for giving my twins separate birthdays?

(Renee x Bella Swan & Bella's twin)

I, 38 female, have a twins.

Bella, 16 female, was born on September 13 at 11: 45 PM and Finny, 16 female/male/enby, was born on September 14 at 1: 25 AM.

Bella and Finny are polar opposites in both appearances and personalities. Bella is more introverted, quiet, clumsy, and bookish while Finny is outgoing, artsy, energetic, and athletic.

Finny is a lot like me while Bella is like my ex husband, Charlie, but despite the similarities I'm actually closer to Bella while Finny is closer to Charlie. We both make an effort to not play favorites and love our children equally. We've always celebrated the twins birthdays on a different day from both of their actual birthday (the 12th, 15th, or 20th for example).

We never did anything personalized, just let them rock-paper-scissors for a restaurant and a split cake and only allow them to invite two or three guests.

Well, for their sweet 16 we decided to not only celebrate the birthday on the actual day but make it a theme personalized for them. We had an equal budget set for them, $15,000 each.

For Bella we only did an immediate family thing with us shopping at her favorite book stores, seeing her favorite ballet, and eating at her favorite restaurant (it was a healthy Mediterranean restaurant with lots of vegetarian, vegan, and gluten free options) with her favorite cake, strawberry cheesecake. She liked it and claimed that she had a lot of fun.

Finny admitted that while they were mostly bored, they were glad that Bella had a fun birthday.

The next day, Finny got ready and was told to invite all 8 of their immediate friend group to go on the California boardwalk where we live. We went on a mini shopping spree and we went to their favorite karaoke place before having dinner at their favorite restaurant (a country restaurant) and their favorite cake, red velvet.

Bella had tagged along and was mostly a wallflower, though Finny did try to include her a couple times Bella rejected each offer rather rudely.

But when the cake was served Bella lost her mind. She accused of of playing favorites with our children and spouted off about how we spent more money on Finny and how we made Finny this perfect golden child and her the black sheep/scape goat.

None of this is true, we did everything we could to make both Bella and Finny feel loved and appreciated. Neither one has more than the other, they both had phones and laptops and were promised a car as long as they saved up and paid for half. We constantly told them that we loved them and were proud of them and went to every award ceremony, every science fair, and every school event.

We tried to tell her this and asked why she would think this. She said that we gave Finny a better birthday than her. We spent a whole day dedicated to her and her likes, then a whole day dedicated to Finny and Finny's likes.

Finny had started crying and having a panic attack (which they became prone to having at age 14 and started going to therapy for along with their OCD and depression) from all the yelling and Bella straight up screaming at them and calling them an attention seeking whore and then slapping them. Their friends decided to leave and the party was over with Finny's birthday ruined.

We're setting up a family therapy appointment with Finny's therapist to try and discuss what happened and see what we can do to fix the situation.

I just need to know....was I wrong for giving them separate birthdays?