I wish you loved me in the ways I did.
I didn't want someone else, not him, not her.
You
So why couldn't that happen? Why couldn't you love me?
Was I really that bad?
Was it that easy to let go of what we had?
I don't know..and that's the problem.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
*Wynter's Pov!*
My breathing was heavy when my eyes opened. Sweat covered my skin, I jolted up from my bed. My eyes scanned the room, no Theo, no blood, no sign he was ever here. But the one thing I noticed was the pure sadness I still feel inside of my throat. He left, but he made his mark, a permanent one. I didn't feel like myself anymore, I couldn't, not after that. I didn't want to move, at this time I would be jumping in the ocean, feeling the sun on my skin. But not today, not for a while. I couldn't bring myself to do it, to do anything. I suddenly felt something covering my face, tears. I was crying, and once I noticed the evidence of this feeling inside me I couldn't stop.
I didn't want to, I just fell back against my pillow. My hands covered my face as I cried silently, wishing to feel okay again. But at this point, I knew I didn't deserve that once fulfilled happiness. Only he did, Theo did. He lived, Theo lived. He had a good life, a family, he had me. I was here, I still am. But he isn't here, he's gone, he's fucking gone. I'll never tell him about my day, cry in his arms, ride our bikes way farther than we were ever supposed to. All of it has disappeared, so has my interest in life.
The life he fought so hard to stay in, but no matter how hard he tried it wasn't enough when it should have been. It fucking should have been, I just cried, wishing this feeling would go away. But I knew it wouldn't, Theo...I wish I was the one that was up there. Not you, and I'm sorry for it not working that way. I hate myself for believing you would live, that we would be okay. I know at that moment, in the hospital you wanted to be a different person. Trust me, I do too.
"Wynter? You there?" I flinched harshly, quickly wiping my tears. Shit, it was Artemis. His hand quietly knocked on my door as I hurriedly sat up. He waited for a few seconds before he slowly opened the door. "I'm coming in." His head slowly peaked in, once his eyes found me on my bed he went to me. I kept my eyes off of him, I couldn't look him in his eyes and lie to him. I couldn't tell him I was okay, because I wasn't. I felt a weight shift under me, then he placed something next to me. "You..left your jacket at the beach." He said scooting it closer to me. I didn't want to talk, I only wanted to hear his voice. So I didn't talk, I just let him. My voice liked his voice.
"So, you had an amazing hit playing volleyball. You're really good at that, even if it did go in my face. I would say it was a pretty nice shot." Usually I would have laughed at that, but I didn't have the energy to. "Wyn, are you okay?" He questioned. I didn't speak, I couldn't. My throat felt dry, I didn't know what to say. "Did something happen? I mean I know yesterday wasn't the best so if you're upset about it we can talk." I didn't answer, I couldn't. If I did I would cry, I didn't want him to see that.
"Wynter, look at me." He then touched my hand, it was light but it was enough to make me flinch. He drew his hand back, it was silent for a while. He didn't know what to say, and neither did I. It just kept my eyes on his hands, they were hesitating. Like they wanted to touch mine again, but they knew they shouldn't. "Do you..want to watch a movie?" He asked as I looked up, not to his eyes. But to his chest, I could at least give him that. "Is that a yes?" He asked, as I slowly nodded my head. "Okay, I can work with that." I wanted to laugh but I didn't. He then got out his phone and sat beside me, leaning against my other pillow. We were so close that I could feel his body heat.
