I wish you loved me in the ways I did.
I didn't want someone else, not him, not her.
You
So why couldn't that happen? Why couldn't you love me?
Was I really that bad?
Was it that easy to let go of what we had?
I don't know..and that's the problem.
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*Wynter's Pov!*
"Wynter, wake up." My eyes force open as that voice echoes through my ears. "It's time to go," I stared back at him in shock. "It's time to go home." I sit up, feeling the warm air hitting me. The sun shined through the window, reflecting onto Theo's eyes. Tears pooled in my vision. "Theo, what are you doing here?" I ask and he tries to take my hand but I quickly stand up. I look down at him in complete disbelief. His hair, his eyes, his dorky smile.
It was him, it was Theo. He then stands up and walks closer to me, and touches my hair. "Your hair is like a child's, the way it's always so frizzy. Does mom still braid it?" Yes, she does sometimes, "I bet you learned to braid now, didn't you?" I did. "Wynter, tell me. Why did you let this happen to me?" He asked as I stared back at him. Words wouldn't come out, I didn't know how to in that moment. His eyes seemed sad, and it was silent.
But then his eyes flashed to hatred, anger, frustration. "It's your fault I'm dead." He said bluntly as tears streamed down my face. "You're the reason that I'm not here." He then moves closer to me. I slowly walk away, but he comes closer. "Why did I have to get sick? Why?" He pins me against the wall as I refuse to touch him. "Why wasn't it you huh? Why did all my hair have to fall out and not yours." I looked up at his head to see his beanie.
The one he wore everyday, he never took it off. Refused to, and never did, He died in that beanie. I cried as I took it from him that night in the hospital, I wanted to help but I couldn't. So I cried, hoping his eyes would open. That he would smile again, and tell me about his day. I wanted that, I needed that. But It never happened, because soon days turned into months. And now for years, I still can't stop him from showing up in my life.
I cried as he moved closer. "I'm sorry Theo, I wish it was me-" I said but he interrupted. "Well it wasn't! I bet mom and dad wished it was you too! I was always there perfect son!" He moved away, walking in circles. The way he always did whenever he felt angry. "But you!" He slammed his hands against the wall. I flinched as he drew closer, this was a Theo I hadn't seen before. That I never wanted to see, but I had to now. Because all of his anger, was because of me. "You had to ruin that, you should have died! Not me! You hear that!" He screamed as I shook my head slowly.
"I'm sorry." I apologized but he didn't care. "You're not sorry, or else I wouldn't be dead." I looked up at him as his voice started to crack. "I..I would be here with you guys..still eating tv dinners..swimming in the ocean." He fell down to his knees at those words. "Why...why did you do this to me Wynter..." He said as I looked up at his now sickly expression. Tears streamed down his face in disbelief as I cried harder. I wanted to hug him, to apologize. To tell him i'm sorry, but slowly he turned into dust...right in front of me.
"I loved you Wyn, but now..I hate you." He said as he disappeared, faded away from me. I cried. "No! Please Theo!" I yelled as I fell onto the floor. Sobbing, as I tried searching for him. But he was gone, and It was my fault. My body fell onto the floor, hopeless. I wanted it to be me Theo, I really did. Every day I wished it was me and not you. slowly disappearing as well. His voice still echoing through my head.
*
My body jolted awake as my eyes frantically looked around the room. I couldn't breathe, everything felt heavy around me. I touched my face, feeling the dry tears lingering from just a few minutes ago. I then checked the time, twenty more minutes until I had to get ready to go with Kenna. My breath was still struggling to work, but I pushed myself off my bed and got my things.
Still feeling the guilt of the past moments.
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THANKS FOR READING! It was kind of sad, even for me. Writing this was very depressing, but if you ever feel this way yourself please know you're not alone in this. And I hope no one ever has to go through something like this, if you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me or a loved one you have if needed. But yeah, I hope all of you have an amazing day. Thanks for taking your time to look at my book! <3
