philophobia
afraid to tell my secrets,
to open up my heart,
afraid to let someone in
who could tear me apart.
afraid that if i try again
the results will be the same
that to me they were emotions
but to others just a game.
afraid to fall in love
b...
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tw: implications of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, self-hate, underage drinking, sexual assault, and torture.
third pov
yule break
days at grimmauld seemed to blur together before aquila's eyes.
a mix of regulus and kreacher checking in on her, bringing her food, and sitting with her as she slowly built her strength once more.
not a single moment did she see orion, however.
days passed and too quickly did the pureblood yule ball arrive.
walburga had woken up days after the crucio incident and limited aquila's eating habits in order for her to lose weight to fit into the dress that she had bought at the beginning of the year, something the boys were not aware of.
aquila stood in front of her mirror in her dark undergarments, looking at her body in hate. her breasts were too big, as were her thighs. her waist and stomach were not as small as she wished they were, and she could pinch skin underneath her arms. scars littered the surface of her skin, and black and blue bruises bloomed all over her body.
she was no where near beautiful in her eyes as she was in others. her mother had been right, she had let herself go, and now she was to pay for it.
she slipped the itchy long-sleeved black sequin fabric over her body, and zipped the dress more easily than she expected.
the dress felt loose as it hung around her waist. it didn't feel like the normal ones she bought, and it definitely didn't feel like it had when she first tried it on at the beginning of the school year, which made her feel worse.
what aquila didn't know was that she looked absolutely stunning. the black fabric complimented her skin and made her hair look glossy and even darker than it was naturally. the slit that went up to her upper thigh showed off her long, model-like legs, and the heels that adorned her feet gave into that effect.
she sighed heavily as she tiredly made her way from the room, her face devoid of emotions.
aquila made her way down the main staircase of her home, and silently made her way to where her mother was standing, looking at her daughter in approval, as the dress had fit.
orion and regulus met up with them, regulus looking at his sister in concern, as he saw the way the dress hung, and how it didn't touch the sides of her waist like her normal dresses, that usually hugged her waist.
the matriarch and patriarch then took the teens' arms and apparated to the malfoy manor, where the first pureblood ball of the yule season was being held.
the malfoy manor was always dreary and depressing. it was always deathly and had a sense of darkness to it. it reeked of dark, sickening magic, and it made aquila's throat tighten and her body tense as the wards enveloped her into their grasp.
