philophobia
afraid to tell my secrets,
to open up my heart,
afraid to let someone in
who could tear me apart.
afraid that if i try again
the results will be the same
that to me they were emotions
but to others just a game.
afraid to fall in love
b...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
1 april 1976 - early morning
james didn't go home that night. instead, he stayed within the confines of aquila's room at beauxbatons.
he held her in his arms as if she were made of glass on the verge of breaking.
aquila didn't say anything against it, though her body was stiff.
they laid in silence as james basked in the warmth of their mixed magical signatures.
minutes passed like hours until james heard aquila humming to get his attention.
"i'm not going back, y'know." aquila mused, nervously tapping her fingers on her thigh.
james shot up, taking the girl with him. he looked panicked as he gently grabbed ahold of her shoulders and brought her to meet his eyes.
"what!? why?"
"i can't do it, james, i won't do it. i'm not going back." aquila shook her head frantically as if to make her point.
"hey, hey, hey, it's okay, you don't have to, baby, you don't ever have to do anything you don't want to do." james reassured, rubbing his thumb along her collar bone to soothe her.
"i don't?" aquila asked softly, so soft in fact, that james couldn't help but feel like he was comforting a small child.
"never, but why don't you want to go? come with me?" james questioned, continuing with his comforting ministrations.
"i can't face them. they'll never forgive me, merlin, i'm so stupid." aquila groaned, falling back onto her pillows.
james followed and leaned over her, pushing her hair away from her face, smiling slightly.
"no you're not, keila, you could never in a million years be stupid." james told her as their eyes connected, aquila's widened with wonder.
"how can you still look at me after what i said to you?" she questioned.
"because you're beautiful, and I know that you were hurting when you said those things. i know you didn't mean it." james assured honestly, his words striking aquila's heart in a way that made her stomach flutter.
"flattery won't get me to come back." aquila rolled her eyes to play off the fact that he gave her butterflies.
"aquila, i'm not trying to get you to come back if you don't want to, i just know that aodhán really needs to see you. the poor boy has been dying with worry." James said, pulling her into him and resting his chin on her head.
"aodhán?" aquila asked, realizing that he must not have gotten her letters, and guilt settled in her gut.
"yes, boy's been bloody stressed. cries into your pillow almost every night." james chuckled a bit, aquila feeling the vibration of his chest.
