philophobia
afraid to tell my secrets,
to open up my heart,
afraid to let someone in
who could tear me apart.
afraid that if i try again
the results will be the same
that to me they were emotions
but to others just a game.
afraid to fall in love
b...
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24 march 1976
it had been a week since james had discovered the room of requirement, and he had spent every spare moment tearing it apart.
he had yet to go through the drawers, but he had found a broken teapot on the floor, with traces of aquila's magical signature on it.
being in there made his heart race and his mind go crazy. where was she?
aodhán had also been a constant within the flat, often laying in the bed that still held aquila's scent and traces of her magical signature.
he would hug her pillow, cry into it.
james' heart hurt when he saw the small eleven year old sob into the pillow, and sometimes, james would sit next to him, and hold the boy in his arms as he sobbed for his friend, whom he had gotten attached to quite quickly.
aodhán just wanted his aquila. and james wanted his aquila too.
over the week, the two had spent countless hours together, going through the flat, trying to find anything that could point to where aquila was.
aodhán had also gotten rather attached to james. he walked with him to all his classes, and clung to him during meals, even sitting at the lion table as to not be away from the older boy that brought him comfort.
james was currently in the flat by himself, finally going through the drawers. he rummaged through aquila's bedside table, only to find a pile of letters.
the same letters her friends had sent her, the same letters she hadn't responded to.
he read each and every one to try and find a hint to where she was.
after about twenty letters, he found nothing.
he then went to the other bedside table, and found two letters, the letter that aquila had sent her mother, and the one she had received back from the dreadful woman.
this was it. james had found it.
and his heart broke when he read the words aquila had written on the page.
the ache that he felt reading about her thoughts was one he was unfamiliar with. he couldn't bare to imagine how she could have gone through her thoughts without anyone to support her. he wished she would've only come to him.
but then remembered her words toward him the first night back from yule.
her words started to make sense. he had thought the timing of her withdrawal was odd. one minute, she was fine, lovely to him, even. the next, she was reserved and cold, and now james knew why.
her damned mother had brainwashed her. she put horrific thoughts into the struggling girl's mind, and manipulated her into her current situation. cut off from absolutely everyone and completely alone with no one to pull her out of the madness she would become.
