An Animal's Journal

August-2-2023

I woke up to my parents yelling and talking. They were doing some stuff to the house and couldn't think to try and keep quiet so I could sleep.

Then my mom gets home with my brother, with food  for everyone but myself. They went out and got food, and no one thought "hey let's ask our daughter, see if she's awake and wants food" like what the fuck? I had been awake for an hour and no one thought to come and check on me. No one thought to see if I was awake and wanted something to eat! I don't understand, I'm just as much of their kid as my brother is! Why did he get to go out and get food and I didn't? It's not fair, no one even thought to wonder if I even existed in that situation. And yeah it's just food, but I'm not really upset that I didn't get anything to eat. I'm upset that they didn't try and think of me, that they didn't try to see if I was awake. They just assumed I was still asleep, that I was irrelevant, that I wasn't hungry.

After that I still had to do my stupid summer work. After I finished my work I called my bf! He's finally un-grounded so I can call him all the time now ^^

When we got of the phone I went and watched the queen's gambit before having to go to a tour and stuff at my school.

Dude I am so not ready for highschool, the tour and stuff didn't help. I don't know where any of my classes are, there's only one club I wanna join and I don't even know how to join. I'm not confident enough to wear my tail now that I'm in a big public school, I have no way of telling people I'm a therian(unless it's directly) cause I failed making my pin. Everyone is coming to this highschool with friends and I don't have any. This will be my first time in a big public school. I'm just not ready for this, I'm not ready to be a highschooler yet. My bf is a year younger than me and he's not zoned for this school. Which means I won't see him at all at school even in my sophomore year. I can't do this.. I cried in the car on the way home and my mom tried to comfort me but I'm just not ready. I called my bf told him how I was feeling, but he doesn't know how to help. I'm still figuring out my sexuality, my gender, my theriotype, my home life, and now I have to figure out how to survive highschool.

Anyways thanks for reading/listening to me rant✌️
Sorry for the amount of angst in this chapter, I just had a stressful day

I went to my drum lesson at 8. Which was fine, I kee forgetting to practice at home. Particularly cause I don't have a drum set yet. I use a practice pad and my drumsticks, but it's hard to practice a song with just that :T
(Seriously like every Friday, Sunday, and Tuesday I need someone or something to help me remember to practice)

Anyways practice was fun and my mom says that I'm getting a drum set soon! I hope she's serious this time cause I really need one so I can practice my songs!

I kinda just hung out on my phone after that till going to bed