lie; kv

Chapter thirteen.

Taehyung let out a sigh, walking around his house alone. It still hurt to walk, but he knew practicing would help him build up some more strength and get used to it. However, there were some things he couldn't get used to.

As he brushed his hair with his fingers, he lowered his right hand above his cereal and stared at the way it trembled.

Taehyung then lifted his left hand, comparing how one was completely still but the other was not. He chewed on his bottom lip and picked up his spoon anyway, trying to ignore how his hand was shaking.

Probably just a medicine side effect. At least it's not that noticeable. Taehyung ate quietly, he wished that Jeongguk had stayed over but the boy left after his mysterious sadness yesterday.

Taehyung began to realise that he didn't have anyone with him most of the time. His family was out doing their own thing and all his friends were doing their own thing too. It also felt like everyone was hiding something from him too which increased his stress.

Has it always been like this? Taehyung scrunched up his eyebrows and thought hard, but he couldn't recall much. Something must've happened, why else would I have scars?

Taehyung raised his sleeves and stared at the healed scars on his arms, frowning out of confusion and worry. What the hell happened to me?

He changed after the accident, he shouldn't think the same? Jeongguk nervously chewed his lip, bouncing his leg repeatedly as he stared at the purple notebook on his table. Around him were a few students, however, none paid attention to his distress.

Jeongguk knew he shouldn't, but the more entries he read the more curious and worried he got. His lips were covered in blood from all the picking and biting that only worsened at each page.

entry 28
I don't know what to do why doesn't anyone believe me? Why would I do such a thing? I don't even qualify for a scholarship it doesn't matter to me. Everyone hates me and jeongguk will never believe me. I hate this so much, I hate everything about this so much I want it to stop.

entry 29
I hate it here I can't do it I hate writing in this stupid pointless book I don't want to do this. No matter how badly I cut nothing works and no amount of pills are helping. Everything is so pointless, nothing's going to work out for me because of this. What's the point?

entry 30
I'm running out of pages already but I have so much I wanna let out I just wanna scream I feel like I'm going insane. Jeongguk doesn't care about me anymore at all, he doesn't care about how people call me a thief and beat me up, he doesn't care I'm going to kill myself because of all this he doesn't care that I'm hurting too. I wish he cared for me like I cared for him.

entry 31
God I'm so lonely in this hospital why does my family not care either? I don't care about them but it hurts more now that not even Jeongguk bats an eye at me it's like everyone wants me gone. I'm gonna leave next week for good I hate it here.

I hope Jeongguk doesn't think it's his fault. I doubt he'd care, I know he'd be upset I escaped all of this so easily or maybe celebrate. I know I'm upset because of him not believing me but its not just him that's driving me into this misery. He's just another person who doesn't believe and care for me. I don't blame him, the only recording of that day the scholarships being tampered with shows me coming in and out no one else.
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Fuck, please be fake. Jeongguk felt nausea overtake his emotions. He knew that the entries came from Taehyung's heart, but deep down he hoped it was some fucked up lie Taehyung was telling to win the case.

Jeongguk hated the idea of it all being false as it meant he lost someone dear to him over nothing, and all the damage done to Taehyung would be partially his fault too. That, that was something he'd never forgive himself for.