The Lost Time Lord (A Doctor Who/Tenth Doctor Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-Three: Still Me

"But before we get into that, I want to ask you something." I said, drawing my leg up and laying my face against my knee. 

"Sure." He answered, crossing his arms. 

"The Beast," I continued, "I know I said that it lied, and it was just trying to scare you all but...it called you 'the killer of your own kind'." His smile fell. "And back on Earth, with Sarah Jane, you said that all the Time Lords died but...what happened to them?"

He nodded, running a hand over his face. 

"Mary, what do you know about the Time War?" He asked. I shook my head. "Well...its been called many things. 'The Last Great Time War', 'The War to End All Wars', but...I just call it the Time War. It was...a temporal war waged across galaxies mainly fought between my people, the Time Lords and...the Daleks."

I nodded.

"Yes, them I've heard of." I said quietly. 

"It was brutal, Mary, it was...like nothing the universe has ever seen," He whispered, "It lasted 400 years across multiple timelines, and millions were dying and being resurrected simply to die again, it was awful. They had managed to force our side back to Gallifrey and they were raining down destruction upon the planet.  The Time Lords were the only line of defense against the Daleks taking over the universe, and the Time Lords had burned through just about every weapon they had...the planet was going to fall, and it would take the entirety of the universe with it and I...I couldn't let that happen."

He had tears in his eyes now, and I found that without even realizing it, I had tears in mine, threatening to overflow and roll down my cheeks. 

"Doctor, what did you do?" I asked. He swallowed, attempting to compose himself.

"I stopped the war," He answered, "And I did it by destroying all of them...the Daleks and the Time Lords. I destroyed Gallifrey, and killed my own people to save the Universe...and the consequence of that choice is this. Its me, I...I travel, I try to do as much good as I can, and...sometimes people travel with me, like Sarah Jane and Rose, but they're humans and they die and I am...still here. That is my punishment, I get to spend the Time Lord's nearly infinite lifespan completely and utterly alone...doomed to watch the people I care about most wither away and die...like they did. To this day, I still doubt the idea that I made the right choice." 

"It was an impossible choice." I said, reaching up and wiping my tears away. "No one else could have made it, Doctor. No one."

"No one else would have made it." He reasoned. "A better man would have found a better way-"

"And what if there isn't one?" I asked, standing up and moving to stand in front of him. "What if that choice, at the cost of millions of lives, saved billions of others? What if that choice made you the man who has saved countless lives across countless planets, and timelines?"

"What if that choice is the reason that what the Beast said about Rose terrifies me?" He returned. I bit my lip. "I mean, what...what if it knew something, what if it was right, and Rose is just going to be the latest in a long line of people that I've gotten killed, and then you'll no doubt be right behind her-" 

"Doctor, stop," I put my hands on his face, "That isn't going to happen."

"You don't know that!" he said, pushing my hands off and moving away from me. "I...I know you're trying to make me feel better, but you don't know that for certain, Mary. You don't...at the end of the day Rose and...probably you, you're humans and I'm not...you're going to age, and you're going to die, and I'm not and that is just the way this works-"

"And what if it doesn't work that way anymore?" I asked, crossing my arms, "What if I'm not human, what if I'm...like you?"

He furrowed his eyebrows at this.