The states!

TECHNICALLY CHAPTER SHUT UP ALREADY -Puerto Rico

California: words can't discribe how pretty you are
New York: awww
California: but numbers can
California: 3/10

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Rhode Island: if you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell "among us" 69 times, a shadowy figure called "your mom" will come to beat the shit out of you and you will wake up in a strange place called, "the orphanage"

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Tennessee: DiD yOu KnOw in Georgia there's a college course on Rick Ross's life
Kentucky: who is fat and raps?
Georgia: Biggie Smalls?
Kentucky: who is fat, raps, still alive, morbidly obese, 9000 pounds, weighing the earth down with his absolute fat-
Louisiana: RICK ROSS!
Kentucky: congrats, you passed, A+

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Nebraska: do yall ever breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don't hear you fighting for your life
Massachusetts: I used to get annoyed when people breathed to much after climbing up the schools stairs (we were on the top floor) and then I realized I probably was breathing like I was about to die too

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Kentucky: isn't it weird how we pay money to see people?
West Virginia: you mean in prostitution, concerts, or movies?
Kentucky: ..Glasses

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Alaska: life is not a fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight, you're drunk
Iwoa: but ima pretty princess

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New Hampshire: sometimes I say 'huh?' then answer the question before the person even repeats themselves. I'm not deaf, my brain just be laggin' like a 2005 Dell desktop X

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America: I once took my kids to a local farm and we found a lil goat with its horns stuck in a fence, just sitting there kinda mournfully on the grass. We tried to get it free but it was stuck tight. We petted it for a while and fed it some grass (as it had lawnmowered a circle around itself as far as it could reach), and then went back to the ticket office to tell them it needed help, but before I got more than: "there's a goat-" the guy cut me off with a weary wave and said, "Yeah, we know. Stuck in the fence. That's Brenda. She can get herself out whenever she wants. She just likes the attention."
America: trolled by a fucking goat
Canada: I'm dying "Yeah that's Brenda"

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Washington: last born siblings are by far the most annoying people on earth

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Alaska: "what is is sarcasm?" some idoits might ask, well it's a noun and it's the ability to insult said idoits without them realizing it.

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Idaho: if you don't know the difference between "there", "their", and "they're" your a idoit
Iwoa: well this is awkward
Illinois: *restraining himself from fixing the grammar mistakes*

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America: I mean, I love Russia. No doubt. It's just... Standing close to him makes me nervous.
America: you know, he's 6ft tall while I'm 5'3.
America: what if he licks my head?

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Florida: why did the turkey cross the road?
Washington:
Florida: he did not. He's an asshole and just stood in front of my car for 5 minutes