The Worst Choice of my Life (a Gratsu fanfic)

Pt. 6

I took in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly, repeating this several time before finally opening my eyes. Zeref was sitting down beside me, he had on a gentle smile and waiting patiently for me to begin.

I feel a lot better now that I know Juvia isn't trying to intentionally hurt me but I'm still going to need the reassurance of him. 

"Um..you know about Gray right?" I started off by saying. I needed to be careful, I wanted the pain of this to be a minimum; I mean, I knew I'd be balling my eyes out on my brother's shoulder after this but still, I need to make it a minimum.

"Why yes, he's the one who you're dating correct?" I winced. Zeref took notice of it and his expression softened even more, if that was possible. "Did...something happen?"

I already felt tears brimming the corners of my eyes. 'I can't cry yet, not when I haven't told him anything.' I thought angrily to myself. "He... he br-broke up with me a few d-days ago..." And I was already sobbing. I couldn't help it, no matter how much damage he'd done to me, I still loved him, at least as a friend. I enjoyed our time together so it really hurt me when he just up and left; for a stupid reason too. I couldn't stop the tears anymore so I just let them flow. I covered my face with my hands and my shoulders shook whenever my breathing hitched.

I felt protective and loving arms wrap around me. "I'm so sorry for you." Is all that came out of his mouth.

We lay there for several minutes; me crying uncontrollably and him holding me in a tight embrace. He rubbed my back in an attempt to soothing me and after a while, it started to work. My breathing started to become more stable, my shoulders went from shaking violently to rising slowly up and down with my deep breathing, and my eyes felt a lot cooler now that the tears were starting to go away. I uncovered my face and looked up to Zeref. He looked down at me with the sweetest smile he could muster but I could see in his eyes that it was genuine.

He pushed himself off me and I turned around to face him.

He let out a sigh. "Look Natsu, I know rejection can be something that is very hard to recover from. Me? I was rejected from the whole world. They all thought I was some insane legend that wanted to use my black magic and demons to destroy the whole world. But in all actuality, I didn't want to live anymore. I was granted immortality; which may seem like an amazing power to have to some, but not to me. So, when Mavis came along and broke that curse and provided me with a much happier life, you can only imagine how grateful I was. But, even though I had to go through and put up with all that rejection for majority of my life, I've been able to move on. This is because I know there are still people out there who accept me for who I am, and that's all the support I need. It's not a bad thing to dwell on rejection and heartbreak, but if it starts to get out of hand, and I mean too long, it's going to really hurt you; both your mental well-being and your physical one too. You need to learn how to move on. Understand and respect the other's decision and learn to accept that that was their choice. Again, there's nothing wrong with feeling the pain and heartbreak from their confession but the strongest of the pack are the ones who fall down but get back up. There are so many other people who are willing to take the spot of the person who just forfeited it, and that number is just higher because it's my little brother who's the victim! But learn how to move on. The faster the better. And that's all I can say."

I wanted to cry again, but this time, it would be tears of joy. I knew I could always count on my brother to lift my spirits up. He's got a way with words. Even when he's lecturing me, they sound beautiful. I nodded and hugged him.

"Thanks Zeref. I'll try my best to move on. You always know what to say." I sighed. My eyelids started to feel heavy and before I knew it, I was asleep in the protective arms of my big brother.

"So... are you and master Mavis in loooooove?" 

I groaned. 'Man, that was the best sleep I've had in a while!' I opened my eyes and sat up. I stretched and yawned then rubbed my eyelids.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." I turned to the source of the voice. My eyes lit up. I basically threw myself at him.

"You're still here!!?" I asked, more excitement in my voice than confusion. I heard him laugh from above me since I basically latched onto his legs.

"I'm staying for a while. Mavis wants to go on a job with me so I'm going to rest up here before she finds one." He said.

"Now, tell me, which one was Gray again?"

I groaned. Zeref keeps asking me the same question over and over again every 5 minutes just to glare daggers at Gray. I mean, I appreciate the effort but I don't think he'll be even fazed by some loo...k...

"Hey, what's your problem man? You're scaring the crap outta me with those glares and whenever I look back I catch you staring. Like, did I do something wrong or do you wanna go?" I winced at his voice and felt my heart start pounding. 'Dammit, I'm still in love with him, aren't I?'

Zeref opened his mouth to say something but I put my hand on his shoulder. He looked back at me. I simply shook my head and walked off. I went to the bar and sat down, putting my head down and waiting for Mira to come back from her serving.

"Oh, hello Natsu. The usual?" Mira said in her recognizable kind tone. I sat up and smiled.

"Yep!" I said, trying to sound like my usual self. 'Already told you, lying isn't your strong suit.'

Mira obviously saw through the act, raised an eyebrow at me but ultimately played along with it for now.

I sighed, resting my head in my arms once again. Happy flew over with a fish and sat down next to my head.

"You alright Natsu?" He asked, concern evident in his voice. I hummed in reply.

When Mira gave me the food, I just picked at it. For once in my life, I didn't feel hungry.

I saw Mira say something to Kinana out of the corner of my eye before disappearing into the kitchen. She reappeared with two glasses of water. She put one next to me and took a sip of her own.

"Alright, what's wrong?" Her voice was stern and demanding, unlike her usual sweet tone.

I sighed. No point in hiding it anymore. "I'm thinking about my romantic problems. I talked to Zeref about Gray yesterday and he told me to not dwell too long and try moving on. But I don't know how to." I said, not lifting my head.

I didn't need to see it to know that Mira smiled. "Well, I happen to know someone who'd be happy to date you, and I think you might like her as well." I looked up at her, tilting my head to the side in confusion. I put my head back down as quickly as I raised it.

"No, I want to figure this out on my own. It's my problem not yours, so I wouldn't want you to get involved." It was the truth. Plain and simple. I had to learn, and no better way to do it but to do it without anyone's help.

I heard Mira sigh. She drank the last of her water and walked away, most likely to return to her duties.

I closed my eyes. Like anyone could get some sleep in this guild hall.