The Worst Choice of my Life (a Gratsu fanfic)

Pt. 12

[Switching POVs]

I couldn't take this much longer. I watched in absolute pain as I watched the love of my life kiss his boyfriend as they were all cuddled up on the couch of my house. I was hiding behind my bedroom walls, spying on the couple. Finally, I closed the door to try and muffle both the sounds and conversations the two downstairs were making and my own sobbing. I ran to my pillow and cried as hard as I could without making noise into it. Not even a few minutes later, the once fluffed up pillow was now soaked in my tears.

'Why did this have to happen to me? Please, someone come and save me from this living nightmare...' I thought while crying into my blanket this time. That's when an idea came to my head. I quickly hopped out of my bed, stopped my sobbing and ran into my bathroom.

I hastily turned on the shower and started stripping. I stepped in once the water was warm enough and let my tears and sobs flow. I let myself scream a few times too, and the sound of the water running drowned it all out.

A few hours later, I stepped out of the shower; the water had started to turn cold. I dried myself off and put on a pair of boxers and some shorts. I didn't bother with a shirt. I put the towel around my neck and walked out of the bathroom.

There were no more sounds coming from downstairs. I checked the time on my phone; 12 am. 'No wonder, he probably already left.' I sat down on my bed and turned to look out my window. Tonight was a full moon. The moonlight was in line with my window so it poured into my room. I was looking directly into it as the light shone down on me as if I were in the spotlight. 

Night time. It was my favourite part of the day, as ironic as it may sound. I loved looking up at the moon and the stars. I studied astrology and mythology about the night sky so I knew where all the constellations were. Sometimes, I would like to just stare at the sky, searching for all the constellations and basically missing out on sleep entirely. Back then, it was fine since I was lazy and slept a lot so it didn't really throw off my mood during the day. But recently, I've found myself doing it a lot more. As a result, I've become less productive and enthusiastic during the day. My friends all worry about me and keep asking me non-stop, and of course, I sometimes have to lie. But it's been this way for almost a year now so they've kind of gotten used to it.

I heard what seemed like a click from a picture taken on a phone. I looked around and saw nothing. 'Probably my imagination.' I dismissed it. Suddenly, my stomach growled. I sighed.

I walked down the stairs quietly and slowly, towards the kitchen; I didn't want to disturb my roommate since it was so late at night, or should I say early in the morning. I started taking things out to make a simple sandwich. Ultimately, I had to turn on the lights but our rooms were on the second floor of the house so it wouldn't have bothered him. After finishing making my sandwich, I turned off the lights and took my plate upstairs. 'Come to think of it, I don't remember opening my door, it was before I came out of the bathroom...' I dismissed the thought, closing my door again and enjoying my midnight snack.

I set the plate down on my table and tried getting some sleep. But, as per usual, I ended up having nightmares.

"Yukino!" I looked up from the ground. 'Oh right, Natsu and his friends were coming over today.'

I watched the blonde as she ran into the guild hall and embraced the white-haired celestial mage. Natsu, Gajeel, Wendy, and Erza came in after her along with their exceeds.

"Hey Sting, could Lector and I hang out with Carla and the others today?" Silly Frosch, always asking for my permission before doing something. I grinned with as much energy I could muster - which was a bit more than usual since I did close my eyes for a bit last night - at the exceed.

"Of course Frosch! You don't need to ask for permission to play with your friends!" I exclaimed, full of fake energy. Fortunately, Frosch bought it and cheered, jumping up and down in joy before finding Lector and running towards the three cats from Fairy Tail.

"Yo! What's up man?" I looked up and met to eyes of my idol. I stood back up and smiled. He looked around before turning back to me. "Where's Rogue?" My heart ached just hearing his name and I felt tears sting my eyes. I quickly blinked them away. Gajeel came up behind as well and asked the same question.

"He's out on a date with his boyfriend." Minerva cut in, saving me. I could never admit that to myself, let alone tell someone else about it. The other two dragon slayers gave a look of understanding.

I wanted to cry. "Excuse me. I have some work I need to finish up, I promise I'll hang out after that though." Another lie. I had actually finished my paperwork this morning since I came in so early, not wanting to stay home any longer after waking up from another nightmare.

I dashed to my office and slammed the door shut, locking it. I let my tears run loose as m'lady's words sank in. I put my back to the door and slid down it. Once I reached the ground, I put my legs up, burying my face in my knees as they soaked in all the tears.

I stayed there for what seemed like hours. The chatter outside died out a while ago, meaning the Fairy Tail members had went out. There was a knock at the door. I quickly stood up and dried my tears.

"Sting, are you alright?" It was Minerva. I opened the door. She came in and closed the door behind her.

Minerva and Yukino were the only people that knew about my condition. I told them how I was hurting, what I did instead of sleeping at night, and basically everything. Yukino would usually come and comfort me every now and then as she listened to me rant about how much it hurt, seeing the love of my life in another's arms. Minerva, on the other hand, also comforted me but in a different way. She had me open up to her and gave me advice on what to do next and how to ease the pain. So, while Yukino listened to me and rubbed circles on my back, Minerva would tell me how to react and what to do about it. They were a match made in heaven, as long m'lady wasn't looking at me with the devil's eyes.

My eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying in the past hours so I didn't have to answer that question.

She sighed. "I have an idea. I made a plan with the Fairy Tail wizards and Yukino. They're going to find Rogue and Rufus right now. We're going to find out their side of the story. Gajeel will ask Rogue how he feels about it and Erza will ask Rufus." She explained. 

"Why?"

"If you hear their intentions, then you might be able to move on. It should put you at ease, knowing why Rogue and Rufus chose each other and you'll probably be able to deal with the pain a little easier, if you know why they're happy together." She stated with a soft expression.

"No, I mean, why do this for me? You really don't have to go through all this trouble m'lady, I'm sure I'll be just fine on my own..." I clarified.

"You won't. It's been a year and you can barely take the thought of them being together. If something doesn't happen to start easing your pain, we'll lose you. Your health, both your mental and your physical one, will start depleting. You don't eat much anymore, plus, you can barely get one good night's rest. Even though I may hate to admit it, everyone - including me - doesn't want to lose you Sting." She looked away with a slight blush on her cheeks. 

I felt happiness for the first time in a long time that day. 

"So we also have to ask Orga." M'lady snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at her confused.

"Huh?"

She rubbed her temples and let out a long sigh. "You weren't listening at all were you?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly and put on a nervous smile. She caught sight of this look and let out another long sigh.

"Yukino recently figured out that Orga has had a crush on Rufus for a while now. He realized his feelings too late which is what puts him in this position now. We thought his help could be needed for this operation as well so, under your permission, while Yukino takes care of the other two, we'll talk to Orga and exchange information back here." My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. They already figured this much out and it was all because they didn't want to lose me. Minerva must have seen my face because she had a smirk on.

I sighed, defeated. "Alright, I'll let this plan be a go then."