Happiness (Ciel X Lizzy) SEQUEL UP NOW

"I'm Scared"

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, thanks for reading. And as always, leave your suggestions and thoughts in the comments below. ^^ Hantai's story is based off this song by Saywecanfly, go check him out!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LIZZY'S P.O.V.

"Isn't it beautiful?" I asked softly, looking up at the sky. London was nothing but lovely at this time of year. Hantai and I were currently at a park, laying down on our backs. It was a lovely day out, stunning, amazing.

I smiled and shut my eyes, letting out a sigh. "Lizzy, if I ask you a question... Will you answer me honestly?" Hantai questioned in a soft voice, almost a whisper.

Leaving my eyes shut, I nodded and answered. "Of course. Ask me anything, what is it?" I finally turned to him, focusing my gaze on the floor though.

"Why do you love Ciel?" He asked bluntly, no hesitation in voice. Hantai stared me down, waiting for my answer. "What is so special about him?" Hmm... I had to think about it.

"I don't know.. I'd have to think about that." I sat up before I spoke. Suddenly tears began to pour out and I sobbed. I collapsed into his shoulder and I simply broke, crying my eyes out.

Hantai sat up and looked at me, stunned. "I'm so sorry. I must have asked a wrong question..." He held onto me tightly, stroking my hair softly. "Hey, it's alright.." He told me with a light pat on the back.

Truth be told, I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know if Ciel loves me. I don't know if I even love him. I'm not sure if I even know what love is. I don't even know if he cares about me at all. What if I made a mistake on Christmas Eve? What if things don't work out? I'm scared, young and stupid. I've been growing up too fast, it scares me and I regret it. I regret sleeping with him.

I held onto Hantai tightly, allowing myself to sob. "I'm scared..." I admitted to him once I'd calm down some. After a few moments when I completely stopped crying, I moved back a bit.

"I'm afraid, Hantai... I'm afraid I made a mistake. Can I trust you with something?"

He nodded once. "Of course. You can trust me Lizzy."

I sighed, my head down. "I slept with Ciel back on Christmas... At the moment I thought I was in love with him. But right now I don't think he loves me, I don't even understand him. I'm not even sure I know what love is... And I'm scared. I'm scared I made a mistake. I'm scared that I'm with the wrong person. I'm scared of losing Ciel. I'm scared because I'm not sure of my own feelings. I'm scared, Hantai and I don't know what to do. And what scares me the most it that I regret sleeping with him, I would take it back if I could." I explained, holding back my tears.

He seemed hurt and worried, a frown forming on his lips. "Oh Lizzy," He sighed and pulled me into another hug. "You'll be fine. I know you will figure things out." He assured me then patted my back and let go once more. "Let me tell you a little story of my own.."

"When I was your age, I was on a trip at France. I met this wonderful young woman named Rose. She was stunning, at the time I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. I got to know her rather well, then one night while we were out on the town she invited me to her house. Her parents were away on business... I slept with her. I was her first and she was mine. I thought it was something special, something wonderful. I loved her. But it turned out that she didn't love me.

"The next couple of weeks, I heard nothing from her. One day, I decided to go visit her. Upon arrival, she told me that she had made a mistake. Rose said she didn't love me and she never did. Her exact words were "It was a one night stand, I don't love you. Get over it and leave me alone." He sighed and stopped speaking.

This story was heartbreaking. I can't believe someone would do this to him. How sad. It must have been hard to get over her. The tone of his voice is enough to convince me he was head over heels for her. "Hantai... I don't understand story." I said to break the silence. What did he mean by all of this? That I should move on? That Ciel doesn't love me?

"What I mean is, you must decide how you feel before making your next move. You can't change the past but you can prevent yourself from getting hurt again. Take your time to think things through. Just promise me you won't rush anything else, alright?"

I nodded my head yes. "Yes, I promise you I will think things through." I agreed.

"Good. Remember I will always be here for you, but I hate to see you cry. I also hate to see you with him, a man who doesn't treat you right. But in the end it is not my decision."

"Thank you, Hantai," I said with a smile before standing up. "Come on, enough of the sad talk. Let's go enjoy London."

He followed my action and stood with a smile. "Alright!"

For the remainder of the day, him and I visited several shops, had lunch, went to a carnival and so much more. It is nice to know that I have a friend who cares....