Smile Like The Sun

CHAPTER 11🍂

(Third Person's POV)

Sorin had searched everywhere yet she could not find her metal inkpen. It was an old one with faded golden colour but it was dear to her.

She was sweating profusely in the early morning as she desperately rummaged through everything she owned. She did not know what she should do if she lost it.

She huffed out a frustrated sigh as she flopped down on her bed, eyes starting to get teary. It might sound stupid to cry for an old pen when she could easily get a new one with a few dollars.

But it was not just a pen. It had belonged to her grandfather, it was one of his most priced possesion. And she lost it, she betrayed him.

She might had lost it earlier during the day yesterday but she did not realise because she was in a daze the entire evening. She remembered tucking it inside her pocket in the morning, promising herself to put it in her pouch later.

But she could not find it when she reached home and sat down to rewrite the notes. She used the pen for writing neat calligraphy to beautify her notes.

She suddenly sprang up, a thought flashing through her mind. It might have fallen out from her pocket when she took out her phone that time. She was so focused on the thing in hand that she did not notice.

She desperately clung on the new found hope as she hastily got ready for school.

A FEW HOURS LATER.

The first thing Sorin did once she reached was heading towards the abandoned building.

She searched the entire area for more than twenty times, even all the path she took just to be sure, still she failed to find the familiar faded metal.

She eventually gave up, accepting the fact that she have lost it. She did not go back to the campus. She would be late for her lecture even if she rush now.

She sat down on the battered bench situated near the front of the building, not caring if it was dirty.

She bit her lips hard to keep them from trembling as she stared on the bare ground. Various memories flooded into her mind. Her heart was heavy with emotion.

She felt as if she had become her younger self again, as if she lost her grandfather once again. She scolded herself for her carelessness as a fat drop of tear dropped down her flushed cheek.

She felt sour towards herself. It was all her fault. She felt awful.

"I should have just mind my own business." She said her thoughts aloud.

She knew she was being petty but could not help the feeling. It only made her feel more worse.

Sorin turned her head when she thought she heard some rustling sound behind her. But she saw nothing except the trees and the bushes. It might be her imagination.

It was true that she regretted her impulsiveness. But deep down, as strange as it was, she could not bring herself to hate what she did.

She was reminded of those sharp aquamarine eyes again and a new feeling aroused within her heart, foriegn but pleasant.

It doused the sourness for a while but doubled it the next moment. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and she did not even try to stop them anymore.

She was a petty and selfish person; she was not worthy to have feelings for anyone, not to mention fall in love. She would only hurt them even if she did not meant to. It was a luxury she did not deserve.

Because she could not afford to pay the price.

A FEW MINUTES BEFORE.

After hours of searching, Leon eventually found her sitting on the bench near the abandoned building, her back turned towards him.

He approached her but stopped a few feet away; he suddenly felt nervous and awkward.

It was his first time to speak to a girl, a girl who helped him but was treated rudely by him in return. Heat crept up into his face and his heart race, an inexplicable feeling swirling inside his stomach.

Just hand her the pen, he said to himself, nothing more nothing less. "Here, I think this belong to you. And sorry for being for rude yesterday." He mumbled to himself, "See, not so hard."

He inhaled and exhaled a deep breath, composing himself before continuing his steps.

"I should have mind my own business." She spat out regretfully, sourness clear in her voice, and stopping him dead in his track.

The words hit him hard. For a moment, he just stood there while clutching the metal pen tightly in his hand.

The giddiness dissipated in a moment, leaving him feeling completely hollow and numb.

He felt as if he had been betrayed, for some twisted reasons he could not comprehend. He clenched his jaw, dark and bitter feeling gnawing his insides.

He turned on his heel and walked back the way he came from, his face hard and rigid. He laughed humourlessly; why did he thought she would be any different from them.

He felt stupid.

"They are all the same." He scoffed coldly.

"Pretending to be a saint but a snake inside"

But he had no reasons to be mad with her. She was a nobody. He did not even know her name. He suddenly paused his steps.

Then why did her words hurt? Why did he feel betrayed?

The inexplicable mussy feeling bubbled up again in his chest, stinging him with a pain he never knew before.

Do not have any desire and you will never have any longing.

Do not have any expectation and you will never be disappointed.

Do not give your trust to anybody and you will never be hurt.