And Always.

Chapter 16

(Nineteen By Dylan)

Harley's Pov

"Mr. Matthews!" I smiled at him and he gave me a look of confusion.

"Could we please change tracks tonight?" I looked up at him with a smile, and he shook his head.

"You know my rule on that, Ace." I leaned on the wall, and he walked into his room.

"Please, Mr. Matthews!" I pleaded and he shook his head.

I pulled the camera out of my back pocket, one of those flat ones, with the safety strap? I love safety straps.

I flicked the camera on, taking a picture of my mother, sitting in Kevin Matthews dressing room.

"Oh hi, Mom. I didn't know you were in here?" She quickly turned around, right as I put the camera back in my pocket, and she smiled.

"I have been helping Mr. Matthews with something. What are you doing here?" My mother looked up at Kevin with a confused expression, and he just shrugged.

"I was asking if we could change tracks for tonight." Kevin shook his head once more and turned around to face me.

"No means no." He shut the door in my face, and I heard the lock click.

Rule Two - Do whatever the hell you want! You want to change tracks, change the damn tracks! - AD

I bit the inside of my cheek as I walked back into my dressing room, hiding the camera in the bottom of my purse, wrapping it in a bra.

Nobody would ever touch a bra, so even if someone went into my bag, I think they would be traumatized. Perks of being a woman.

I looked at the outfit that was laid out for tonight and I internally groaned. This thing was so uncomfortable. It was a red and blue bedazzled bodysuit. One side was red, one side was blue, and in the middle it faded into each other, almost like a glitch.

I hated this outfit with my entire being. It was so tight and uncomfortable, not to mention I thought I was gonna lose something half of the time.

Then, the high heel boots that went all the way up to my knee. Safe to say, I looked like a stripper.

Maybe I should quit and become one...

I looked at myself in the mirror, all dressed and ready. My skin felt like it was ripping because of how tight this outfit was.

Rule Three - Always be comfortable on stage, you're going to be up there for a long time. - AD

I unlocked the door and opened it, the bodyguards that were standing out front of it, were now following me.

"Miss Ace, you look wonderful." One of the stage crew said as I waved with a smile on my face.

"Thank you!"

I made it back stage, and walked onto the stage. The curtain only seconds away from rising. I looked at the boys with a smile on my face.

Live your life, Harley.

The music started, and the curtain raised. I was going to have the time of my life. No need to worry about anything anymore. Just me, the stage, and my boys.

I felt my heartbeat faster as I got to the chorus. I no longer feel the pain when I sing songs about Nick and I. I think I truly am numb.

"Do you remember my blue dress, hot mess?"

Blue dress, Hot Mess, the first party we went to. The first night we had sex, the first night we realized we were in deeper than we thought we were. That night we were both a hot mess.

"Coffee and the cigarettes."

Coffee and cigarettes, all of the people smoked there, and we were too busy arguing with another couple about coffee.

"The late calls."

The late calls, when we would call each other randomly in the middle of the night because we missed each other.

"Bar Crawls."

Bar crawls, we both had fake ids and would go clubbing sometimes. It wasn't an everyday thing, but it did happen.

"Drinking so that we'd forget the cold nights, streetlights."

The cold nights and street lights, we would go exploring late at night. The street lights would turn on when we would leave, and they would turn off when we got home. That meant normally, we were out all night.

"Running from responsibilities."

And we always ran from responsibilities.

"Do you remember all the mistakes, disgrace?"

Mistakes and the disgrace. The mistake was ever becoming a singer. If i never would have done that, i would not have been taking from Nick. The disgrace was how my mother portrayed me. She always thought I was a disgrace, and at times I believed her.

"Smiling at the walk of shame!"

Smiling at the walk of shame, that was probably my favorite line. That's because it's the truth. Whenever the guys picked me up, they would play a different sex song, and I would always smile. It always made me laugh.

"The little lies, big fights."

The little lies and the big fights. We always lied about little things, and we never told each other about things. Then we would always fight over the stupidest things ever. There was no way out of that cycle as hard as we tried. We needed to learn about how to deal with some of our emotions.

"Falling back to you and I."

Falling back to you and I, because it always ended with us. We were endgame. He was home for me, and I was home for him. Or so I thought.

"Our big dreams, white sheets."

Our big dreams, white sheets. That line was a line that he wrote. We both had big dreams and we both wanted to accomplish them. We used white sheets as curtains because he didn't have them.

"When you said you only wanted me."

When you said you only wanted me, that was for every time when he did say that. I don't know if he still does since Harper got into the picture. Does he still tell people that I'm all he wants?

"Do you remember 19?"

Do you remember nineteen? That one was probably the most important in the whole song. It didn't matter about anything else, because nineteen was one of the best years of my life.

And he gave it all up, in one phone call.

I looked over at the boys, who all had smiles on their faces. This was the first time I was not completely breaking down whilst singing about Nicholas Armstrong.

Maybe the fact that he gave up on me, finally pushed me to not care about anything anymore. The numb emotions appeared even when I just thought about him.

Life could've been so good together, but Kevin Matthews ruined it, for both of us. I don't think Nick will ever forgive me for being gone for so long.

I don't think I'll ever see Nicholas Armstrong ever again.

While it crushed me, I wondered if it would crush him? Since he was the one who cut it all off.

I have a strong feeling that Nicholas Armstrong doesn't love me anymore.

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