Why Wait?

4

~~~Austin's rehearsals~~~
We've been sitting at Austin's rehearsals for about three hours when he finally collapsed. Not that he'd been doing any good as a walking zombie either.

Jason Stewart, his choreographer, walks over to him. "Are you dead?" he asks, kicking Austin's side.

Austin groans. "I'm exhausted."

Jason looks at me. "Did you keep him up again?"

I give a sheepish nod. "We stayed up all night taking selfies."

He rolls his eyes. "Fine. Kelli, can you get the band Strike to come over here? They're probably in their dressing room."

"Sure," I say, grabbing my crutches.

I walk through the hallways until I find Strike's dressing room. The guys were all sitting on the couch playing video games. They don't notice me so I actually walk in. From the looks of it, it's some sort of car racing game. I watch them play for a few minutes until the lead singer, Alex Flemmings, gets up to get food. He notices me and freezes.

"Hey," he says.

The other guys look up.

Luke smiles. "I remember you. I hit you with my water bottle."

Ty rolls his eyes. "You also made her cry, idiot." He turns to me. "How is your knee?"

I grimace just thinking about it. "It's there."

Chance stands up, grabbing food as well. "Is there a reason why you're in our dressing room or do you just enjoy sneaking up on people?"

I ignore his comment. "Jason wanted you to through your songs early. Since my brother passed out on the floor," I say nonchalantly.

Luke laughs. "No way. Really?"

I nod. "I might have accidentally kept him up all night long and so now he's exhausted."

There's a tap on the door.

Mom smiles at us. "Hey. I see you guys have already met." She looks at me. "Kelli, have you taken your medication today?"

My eyes widen at her. "No," I hiss.

She rolls her eyes. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"I don't have to take them for a couple more hours."

Why in the world would she says that out loud? And in front of the band, too? Does she not have a filter?

She waves me over. "We will be busy all day long, Kelli. I need you to take them now. And maybe they'll wear off before you have to go to sleep. So the same thing doesn't happen again."

I glare at her. I can feel the guys staring between me and my mom. "Fine," I say slowly, my face turning red from anger.

My runs my face as I walk out of their dressing room. "Honey, I think it's best if people know about your thing. It can prepare them."

"Whatever," I huff. "I'll be in the tour bus."

~~~tour bus~~~
Anyone who takes medication can understand what it's like when the pills start kicking in. No matter what the disorder. All medicine has side effects. Mine includes loss of appetite and sleep, nausea, vomiting, trembling, and an increase in thirst. Sometimes it makes me feel irritated or alone. But I know that's probably just me.

So to explain the whole thing, I have to go back a few years. When I was five, my parents noticed sudden changes in my behavior. It wasn't too bad at first. I was five so they just thought I was extremely sensitive. But when they put me in school, I had difficulty learning what the teachers were trying to tell me. The teachers would always pull me aside and ask extra questions on the lesson. They called my parents every few night because instead of improving, I was actually doing worse. I eventually ended up going to the doctor's office to get myself checked out. A few years later I was eight. My brother, who was twelve at the time, had started getting interested in music. We were down in the basement and I was in a really good mood for some reason. I don't know, I was just happy. It lasted for a little while. Then about a week later, I was bawling my eyes out.

When I was nine, the doctor told my parents I was extremely bipolar.

How can someone be extremely bipolar?

Since then, I've been taking a ton of medication to help control my mood swings. I was constantly afraid and upset all the time. And the medicine kind of helps for me to keep my emotions at bay.

And no, I'm not mad at my mom. But I also don't want anyone to know.

No one will ever take me seriously if they suddenly found out about my condition.

A bipolar disorder is an emotional behavioral disorder that affects a person's ability to be happy, control emotions, and pay attention. For me, I just experience a lot of mood swings. I could be really happy one moment---lasting about a week and a half---then depress myself the next. It's not something you can cure. You just continue taking medication in hopes of it helping you. And I also have my therapist.

But I know that if I had been born normal, the break up with Cody would not have such an effect on me. Because I honestly don't even like him. But after dating someone for six months, it starts to get in your head. And it still hurts to get used by someone who's supposed to be your closest friend.

It's why Austin is so protective of me. He knows that anything I go through can make me want to hurt myself. Though I never have, I have certainly thought about it before. He tries to keep me excited and not think about the situation. And it works. My brother helps me ten times more than my therapist does.

Sometimes, when I experience low mood swings---depression--- I tend to feel sorry for myself. And gets really miserable to be around me. I don't know how to explain it. But it's the same as with anybody else. People want to have a good time. Being around me when j haven't taken my medicine is not what you would call a "good time."

Not very many people know. Just my parents, Austin, and Sidney. And probably the band knows too. Though you can usually tell when someone is bipolar by the way they act. At least that's what my brother told me.

I take seven pills in one hour. Of I take one, I have to take the other before it starts kicking in or I'll be having all kinds of trouble. And then, about an hour later, I have to take the pain pills for my knee.

My life is literally a ton of medicine. If I don't take them j could depress myself. And I'm not really in the mood to talk to my therapist anytime soon.

HEY!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK? WERE YOU SURPRISED TO FIND OUT SHE WAS BIPOLAR?

PLEASE COMMENT :)

I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. I'LL TRY TO UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

THANKS FOR READING!!!