Why Wait?

38

"Good news," mom says, walking out of the hospital room where the girl was laying. "She isn't dead."

MarieAnne, though, didn't look like she  was going to give us good news. "Bad news, they are going to sue you."

After everything that's happened, I wasn't very surprised.

"Me?" Alex demands. "She literally jumped in front of my car while was driving."

We've been sitting here for two hours. Random people we don't know will give us dirty looks or point and whisper about us. Any other day. I would've cared. But today, I really just want to curl up in bed and get through my mood swing in peace. Obviously, that won't happen today.

My brother walks in the hotel room followed by Alex's angry brothers. "I can explain," I start but he just shakes his head.

"I'm tired of listening to your excuses, Kelli."

"But we didn't run her over," I tell him. "She jumped at the car while we were moving. How is that our fault?"

"If you hadn't left then maybe---"

I shake  my head, blocking him out. "Do not turn this around on me, Austin. If you had talked to me instead of just deciding you were going to be a jerk, half of this could've been avoided."

He rolls his eyes. "You are so stubborn," he seethes. "You think I care about you modeling? Or the fact that you didn't even talk to me about it?"

I don't say anything.

"I only care about you. I've seen girls who become models who then become anorexic or self-obsessed. I don't care that you've been wanting to model forever. I just don't want to have to plan an early funeral because you couldn't bother to listen to me."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I look up at him. "I'm not like those girls," I say, a lot calmer. "I don't want to be a model just so I can feel pretty. I want to do it because I want to help other girls feel good about themselves. And if you knew me at all, you wouldn't need for me to tell you. You'd already know that."

His eyes darken. "Would you stop saying I don't know you?" he demands. "Because you're right. I don't know you. My sister would've never gone behind my back and done something so stupid. My sister would've never thrown herself at the first guy who offers her a smile. My sister would've never even dreamed of us fighting all the time." He was gesturing wildly around the room that to any normal person, he would've probably looked crazy. But not me. To me, he looks scary. "I don't know you. You're not my sister."

And with that, he turns and walks towards the exit.

I stand there for a few minutes before my name is called. Turning around, I see Barbara. She was frowning. "I can explain," I say as she opens her mouth to scold me.

She shakes her head. "I don't need you to. It's already all over the news how you and that boy ran over a poor, defenseless human being."

"But I didn't---"

"I'm afraid it's your word against millions of others. I have no choice but to suspend you."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Ross. I truly am. But you read the contract. You've violated one of the rules and we just can't afford any problems right now. If you show up, I will have no choice but to have you escorted out the door."

She leaves before I can say anything.

I bite my lip to keep from screaming at the top of my lungs. Alex catches my eye from the other side of the room and gives me a sympathetic smile.

How did things become so complicated?"

~~~tour bus~~~

The bus slowly lurches to a stop as we land in Florida Bay Stadium. Alex and I were supposed to have our 'one year' tomorrow. But the whole world basically hates us.

I let out a sigh as I check my phone. No new messages.

Sidney hasn't tried to talk to me ever since she broke up with Austin. I was kind of hoping she and I could still be friends - seeing as though she was my friend before she started dating my brother.

But I guess things don't work that way.

Austin hasn't talked to me either. He's still mad about everything. My own brother can't even look at me.

I haven't left the tour bus in three days. Austin and the guys have their concert, the whole world goes on without me, and I just lay here watching it all on TV. I'd get up to use the bathroom or to stare out the small window but other than that, I just stayed in bed.

I can usually tell when I'm slipping.

I wont talk to anyone. My medicine doesn't help me - food is my biggest enemy.

That and people.

I just fall.

Austin has always been the one to catch me. He'd pull me back up and force me to keep going.

But now I don't want that.

I want to keep falling. Falling would mean I don't have to worry about my problems.

My brother's hatred towards me.

How my best friend just abandoned me.

The fact that my dream was just thrown down the drain.

The fact that the whole world thinks I should die for hurting that girl - who we later found out was suicidal. But no one cares that she was the one to run straight for us - which was finally proven a few days ago when a video was showed which proved we were innocent.

No one cares.

I wrap my arms around myself and let out a choked sob. I cry for the next few minutes before I hear the tour bus door opening and closing.

"So there's this baseball game we're all going to," I hear Chance say to Austin. "You and Kelli could come."

"She won't even come out to eat. I highly doubt she'll go to a baseball game."

"Then you could come. I'm sure she'll be fine."

I strain myself closer to the edge of the bed so I can hear them better. "Sure," Austin says. "Let's go."

I shut my eyes. He's done with me.

My breathing was labored as I forced myself to sit up. I turn off my phone before letting my hair down.

I head into the bathroom. My face was pale, my eyes dark and hollow. I remember when there was once life in them. Happiness and joy.

Its all gone now.

I know I should at least let my brother and Sidney know I love them. That I didn't mean to be a burden. That I was sorry they ever had to pit up with me. I have to apologize to Alex for messing up again and bringing him down with me.

Austin was right, I think with a low chuckle.

I head into the living room before pouring myself a cup of water.

I head back into my bedroom and just let myself fall.

HEY!! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED? IS KELLI OKAY?

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! I KEEP PROMISING HAPPY CHAPTERS BUT HONESTLY, I DONT EVEN KNOW UNTIL I START WRITING THEM. I WONT PROMISE ANYMORE BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO LIE TO YOU GUYS ANYMORE.

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!