Fated - Remus Lupin Fanfic

Chapter 21 | Restricted

TW - This chapter contains content that may be upsetting to some readers

The boys waited for the knock of their dorm door impatiently, but when Violet's knuckles hit the wood they all froze for a moment before letting her in.

"Any news?" Peter asked her, biting at the skin around his nails.

"Still unresponsive, still no visitors." Violet sighed and sat down on Remus' bed.

James shrunk into himself, hugging his knees. "He's going to be okay, isn't he? He's got a few months left. He'll be okay."

They sat quietly, not wanting to accept that he was most likely going to die.

"I called him stupid," Violet buried her head into her hands. "Before he collapsed I called him stupid and now he's-"

"You don't need to feel guilty for what you called him." Sirius shook his head. "He was drinking when he knew he shouldn't have. If anything, it's more our fault than yours. We should've known."

"I wish there was something we could do for him."

"Merlin, I've never felt this shit about anything before." James rocked gently. "I mean, when he was first diagnosed with sepsis I felt awful but... this is a billion times worse."

As the boys continued to talk about how they felt, Violet began to tap the side of her head with her sweaty palms. "Get out of my head." She whispered. "Just get out of my head."

"Vi?" Peter frowned, softly touching her shoulder. "Everything okay?"

She quickly looked up to see a distorted version of him, glaring down at her. "Get out of my head."

"Me? I'm not in your head. What are you talking about?"

She blinked a few times and her image was gone. "I- I'm sorry. I don't know what... just happened."

James hated to ask her because he swore to Remus that it would be kept quiet, but he knew that if he didn't ask now he'd probably regret it. "Violet, have you been taking your medication?"

She blinked harshly, trying to remember. "Uh, I think I forgot."

"So you've missed some doses?"

"A few I suppose."

"Okay, come with me," He stood up shakily and took her hand, "Let's get you something to eat and drink so you can take them."

As he walked her to the kitchens she mumbled, embarrassed, "I can look after myself... but thank you."

James smiled, "I think it's very clear that you need some help every once in a while. That's okay to admit, y'know?"

"It just feels rude to, like, ask people of that."

"To ask people for help?"

"Yeah."

"... You can always ask me, Violet."

They got into the kitchens, which were thankfully empty, and James made her a sandwich with a glass of juice. He passed her her daily pill and she took it slowly.

Once she had taken it, she sat beside him on the counter.

"... Remus told you then?"

"He told me the other week. He said it was just in case you needed help when he was dead. The others didn't know until just now but I figured it was more important to help you than to have them not know."

She nodded. "How much did he tell you?"

"... That your dad killed himself a few years ago when you were 14. And after you found his body... You started seeing him and he was telling you to... do stuff... And it got so bad that you had to be sent to a hospital for a while."

She nodded softly. "Yeah, Remus pretty much got it."

"But you, uh... always seemed so normal around that time."

Violet shrugged. "You never really know what other people are going through. It's not your fault you didn't notice."

James breathed softly. "I hope you know that when... when Remus is gone," He swallowed the lump in his throat. "You'll always have me. You're never going to be alone."

"Thank you, James."

"So whenever you need help, just come to me. I'll be waiting for you with Lily, and we'll help you as much as we can."

She looked at her hands and laughed, "I can't believe she asked you out first."

James burst out laughing, "Oh God, never bring that up in front of her. She gets so scary about it."

The two sat laughing on the counter together, both feeling a sense of comfort they hadn't felt in a while.

"... You know how a few weeks ago you helped me when I got pissed?"

"Pissed is an understatement, you were almost blackout drunk."

"Well, that night you told me I was like a sister to you... and I want you to know that you're like a brother to me." She smiled softly. "If I did have a sibling I'd want it to be you."

He grinned, "Ah, come on Watson, don't go all soft on me. Where's the girl that called me a smooth-brained twat the first time she met me?"

Violet snorted. "Okay, I've apologised for that a million times."

"And yet, I'm still going to use it against you."

"Bastard."

—