Loki one shots 💚

Riding Loki

(it's so random but i swear you're gonna love it)

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Tony had been looking for you and Loki for the longest, and the entire time, there was no successful result.

It wasn't like either of you could've gotten far if you were together, per usual. Loki was technically still on house arrest, so if he were to leave the area of the compound, everyone would be alerted.

So where on earth were the two of you?

"Hey, Spangles," the billionaire says as he eyes Steve Rogers, who's just returned from sparring with a towel wrapped around his neck. "Have you seen the kid and Reindeer Games?"

Steve thought for a moment and pursed his lips. "Can't say that I have. You haven't seen them?"

"Wouldn't be here if I had, Cap'n." Tony turns around, looking around to see if anything was out of place, anything that could raise a clue as to your disappearance.

"What are you boys doing standing in the middle of the hallway?" Natasha asked as she was walking past them, but skidded to a stop to hear their answer to her question.

"Tony's looking for (y/n) and Loki," Steve answered, Tony waving his hand in an agreement to the blonde's explanation.

"Well, I heard something banging against the walls earlier," she recalls. "And I think...(y/n) said something about Loki being too big?"

Both men's eyes immediately widened, their minds going to one thing only.

Steve began to avert his eyes elsewhere. "So you mean that could be..." He didn't even want to finish it.

"Fonduing, yes," the redhead says with an amused smirk. "Not that it should be too surprising. But that was over an hour ago. They should be done by now."

"Not if what Thor said about Asgardian stamina is true," Tony muttered under his breath, trying to rid himself of a horrifying mental picture.

"Why don't you just call her?" Natasha suggested, a hand on her hip.

"Well, I was getting there, Romanoff." Tony pulls out his phone and instantly goes to dial your number, listening to the occasional ring as you waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" Your voice came from the other side of the phone.

"Kid!" Tony said in relief. "You've gone quiet, and you and Loki are missing. What are you two doing?"

"Oh, yeah," you breathed out a slight laugh. "I'm riding Loki!"

The man's eyes went so wide, it caused the eyebrows of the other two surrounding him to raise.

"...What did you say?"

"I'm outside, riding Loki," you reiterated. "You wanna come see?"

Tony's face immediately screws up in displeasure. "Kid, listen, as much as we all joke my about me being into voyeurism, I'm positive that watching you and Loki have sexy time is not exactly what I'd deem pleasurable."

"What?" You snickered. "Ew, no! I mean I'm literally riding Loki, he turned himself into a horse! Come and see!"

He did exactly that, and lo and behold, there you were, on top of Loki's (or the horse version of him, rather) back, waving to Tony from the window with a wide grin on your face.

"How on-..." There weren't any words to describe the level of confusion that Tony Stark was currently experiencing.

"Yeah..." you drawled over the phone, and Tony could see the sheepish expression on your face. "We got really bored, and so we started fooling around with Loki's shapeshifting powers until we were joking about something that led to me asking him to shapeshift into a horse, but it turns out that I underestimated the size of my room, and so he ended up stumbling into a few things until we decided to go outside, and we've been like this ever since!"

It took him a minute to process the mouthful you'd just spewed out like nothing, blinking a couple of times as his brain tried to catch up.

"Right, um...." He says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Honestly, never mind, I don't have the mental capacity to deal with that right now, just- carry on."

You laughed and bid him goodbye, before he hung up the phone and sighed.

"I swear, I don't know what I'm gonna do with those two..."

Meanwhile, after Tony had hung up the phone, you climbed off of Loki and patted the horse's back gently, which was his sign to shift back into his normal form, brushing his clothes down when he took his place.

"Okay, now I understand why that horse wanted to breed you," you jested with a snort, to which Loki scowled and pushed you to the side, gently but also not, if that makes sense.

"If you say one more word about that-!"

But you could hardly hear his threat over the sound of your laughter.

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