Habol hininga pa rin ako hanggang sa makuha namin ang importante na gamit namin sa bahay. Passport, wallet at phone. Iyon lang ang dala namin nila Mama at Papa, hanggang sa makarating kami sa airport at makasakay ng eroplano.
I can't stop crying, habang hawak ko ang pamangkin ko. Yakap ko ito ng mahigpit and she has no idea that her father and mother got into a car accident.
Wala may gusto sa amin ng magulang ko ang mag-salita or makipag usap. All of us are occupied by the thoughts of papaano nangyare na naaksidente sila Kuya at Ate.
I know my brother, and he is very careful at driving no matter the situation is.
Halos walong oras, hindi ako makatulog, malapit na kami mag-land sa Manila, pero kusa pa rin napatak ang luha ko habang nakatingin ako sa bintana.
"Auntie, why we went back home that early? I thought your graduation will be later?" My niece asked me, at parang iniipit ang dibdib ko, she really has no idea what is happening.
"There is a emergency my baby, but we will be alright soon, and why you're still up, I thought you are sleeping?" I asked her and she just giggle ng hagkan ko ang noo, at pumikit ako.
"I just want a fries and burger of Mcdo please?" I just nod, at hindi ko napansin na nakatingin sila Mama at Papa sa akin ngayon.
"Jeana, iuwi mo na muna ang pamangkin mo-"
"Ma, no. Gusto ko sila makita mismo, hindi ako mapakali." I paused and look at the ceiling, naluluha ako na naman.
"Natatakot ako," Patuloy ko, at marahang hinawakan ni Papa ang kamay ko.
"Jeana, you are strong. Nakayanan mo at pinili mo na sumama sa amin pauwi sa pinas, kahit na ayaw mo." Papa said, at ngumiti ng mapait sa akin.
"There is nothing to worry, andito ako para sa pamilya ko, not for other things." I said, before Mama hug me tight, dalawa kami ng pamangkin ko na yakap ni Mama.
"I am so proud of you, Jeana. You become someone that you did not expect, you turn into a woman now." Natawa ako ng bahagya, at nag-announce na ang piloto na mag-seatbelt na kami.
Hindi naman ako natatakot sa pinas, hindi ako natatakot sa mga tao na sumira ng buhay ko sa pinas. I am here because of my brother, my family. They need me, and I know hindi naman puwede na palagi akong nasa states para umiwas sa kanila.
Malawak ang mundo para mag-tago ako, umiwas lang ako, oo.
"Lets hope for the best." I said before closing my eyes, and took a deep breath.
...
Hawak ko ang kamay ng pamangkin ko, at nasa van ito, nauna na sila Mama at Papa sa loob ng ospital, tumingin ako sa maid na kasama sa van, at tinuro ko ang pamangkin ko. "Hey, can you take care of my niece, susunod ako kila Mama at Papa." I said after opening the door of van.
"Sige po, ma'am." Inabot ko ang teddy bear sa anak ng Kuya ko, ngumiti at hinaplos ang ulo nito.
"Therese, stay here for a while, I will back." I kissed her head, bago lumabas sa van, hindi ko na suot ang coat na makapal, at kung ano ang suot ko sa LA nung nag-party ako at hanggang ngayon ay suot ko, wala na kami oras para mag-bihis sa sobrang panic after hearing the news.
I went inside the hospital, wala naman humarang sa akin. Pero hinahanap ko ang room, Papa just sent the room number, kaya nag-iikot ako sa ground floor, para mahanap ang elevator.
Ang dami nalingon at nakatingin sa akin, is it because of my face or because of what I am wearing is not appropriate for this place.
Aba, maalala ko pa ba magbihis kung nalaman ko na naaksidente kapatid ko?
I saw the elevator, and press the private rooms floor. Kinakabahan ako habang paakyat ako, the elevator door opened on it's own at bumungad ang ICU sa akin.
Mama and Papa was standing there, Mama is crying at my father's arms now. Parang umugong ang tenga ko sa kaba at takot. Why Mama is crying like that.
"Hey what happened?" I asked, at hinaplos ang balikat ni Mama. She looked at me, her eyes are all red.
"Your brother and your sister in law are at ICU now. They are both comatose." My arms dropped, and slowly looked at my father, he look lost now, at nakatulala sa paanan ng upuan sa waiting area.
May doctor na lumapit sa amin, inalis ang face mask nito.
"Mr and Mrs. Your son's brain has a internal bleeding, and his wife also has a internal bleeding and we can't find what part of her body is still bleeding, dahil po sa bugbog." Mama break down, kneel and started to cry in pain.
"No, no. My children." Hagulgol si Mama at dumalo ako sa Mama, niyakap ng mahigpit at habol ang hininga ko ngayon. How this happened?
"My team are now monitoring them every second, and I also called other doctor for back up, just in case that my team and I will perform a emergency surgery, the bleeding need to subside, or else." Hindi na tinuloy ng doctor yung sasabihin n'ya dahil sa itsura naming mag-anak ngayon.
"I am doing my best now, but let us hope for the best." He gently tapped my father's arms, bago umalis, inalalayan ko si Mama sa upuan, habol ang hininga at nanginginig na kakaiyak.
Papa gently pat my mother's head and inabot ang tubig.
Ako? Tulala at hindi ko pa rin alam, walang nalabas na luha pero sobrang sikip ng dibdib ko ngayon, hindi ko alam papaano ang mangyayare, papaano ipapaliwanag sa anak ni Kuya na si Therese na nasa ospital ang parents n'ya.
"Where is my grand daughter?" Mama asked mindlessly, at nakatanaw sa pinto ng ICU entrance.
"She is with the maid, hindi ako mapakali na hindi ko alam ang sitwasyon." I said and Mama just shook her head.
"Philip don't deserve this, no one deserve this, but that irresponsible drunk driver did this!" Mama hissed, at binato sa pinto ang bote ng tubig.
"Honey, we know. But we need to be strong for Philip, he need us more than we know." Papa said to Mama, at tumayo ako, hindi ko kaya ang bigat ng dibdib ko.
"I need air." I said and walk away.
Pagbukas ko ng pinto, nakabangga ko ang malaking bulto ng tao. Napaatras ako, pero nahawakan ako sa kamay, kaya hindi ako natumba.
"Thank you-" I did not continue what I am about to say, and feel that all of my anger and wrath came back even six years have passed.
"Jeana, you are here?" Mabilis ko na binawi ang kamay ko at umatras sa entrance ng ICU.
I laugh sarcastically, and shook my head.
"We don't fucking need your sympathy, get out of this building or I will stab you to death." Puno ng gigil at galit ko na saad kay Rafaello, at namutla ito.
Akala ko sagad na ang galit ko, pero hindi papala, matapos ko makita ang mukha ni Rafriel na kakarating lang sa entrance at may hawak na prutas sa basket.
"GET OUT OF THIS PLACE OR I WILL BURN BOTH OF YOU ALIVE!"
