His To Adore

36. The First Kiss

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Kabir's POV:

"What are you doing here at this hour? It's late. We are returning to Mumbai tomorrow. You should get some sleep." I moved closer to Tanya who was standing beside the pool.

The cold breeze touched our bodies and she shivered a little. I took my coat off and placed it on her shoulder to cover her more. She lifted her eyes and looked at me.

"It's cold here. You should wear more warm clothes." I turned my eyes and looked at the pool. The water was shining under the moonlight and dim lights around the whole area.

She kept her eyes on me for a few more moments. "It's her right?" She asked, turning her eyes away. I didn't say anything so she continued.

"The girl you love. It's Mahi right." Her words were more like a statement rather than a question. I took a deep breath before humming a yes.

"She is a kind-hearted, gentle, and lovely girl. You both will be very happy together." Her words made me turn my gaze to her. She had a small smile on her lips but her face was reflecting unspeakable pain.

"You deserve all the happiness in the world Kabir and being your best friend since childhood I only wish the best for you." A lone tear left her right eye. I quietly listened to her.

"I so much wish I could be that person who will make you happy. That I could be the reason for your smile but I lost that chance years ago, I know that. I was not expecting anything when I came here. I came because I wanted to. I came to apologize for hurting you for all these years." She held her head low with tears falling.

"I know I was wrong for leaving you like that, without even telling you that I was going. But I don't regret anything I did." She paused and turned to look at me again. "Apart from hurting you."

"I know that I badly hurt you back then and I don't know how I can apologize to you for that. But going to Paris was my dream since I was a little girl. No one knows that better than you. After dad's death it was very hard for us to survive and Paris was the only opportunity to change our lives."

"If I would be thrown back in time I still would do the same, but maybe in a different way so I wouldn't hurt you the way I did. I am sorry Kabir. I really am." With that she burst into cries.

"Please don't hate me, Ple-please Kabir." She hiccuped. "I can't keep on living with the guilt" more tears rolled down her cheeks. She palmed her face. "I know you don't want to forgive me and that's okay but please don't hate me." Her voice was muffled.

I immediately pulled her into a hug. My one hand was on her back and the other on her head.

"Hushhh I don't hate you Tanya. I never hated you. You were my best friend since we were just small children. How can I hate you?" I slowly stroked her hair and my other hand tapped her back soothingly to calm her down.

"I was just disappointed that you didn't even trust me enough to talk about things calmly. I really never hated you." She sobbed for some more time. I kept stroking her back and hair to calm her down.

She was never wrong to choose her career over us. I have seen her struggling, I have seen her working hard for her dream day and night. I was just hurt and disappointed that she didn't talk to me even once before leaving.

Maybe I was selfish back then. I knew how important it was for her and still I confessed my love like that, at the times which was difficult for her. Maybe I pressurized her with my feelings that leaving without a word seemed easier to her.