I Forgive You

Chapter Two

This whole thing I did with Crowley and the Bentley here was pure self-indulgence, I ain't even gonna lie. This is what happens when you listen to your Taylor Swift pain playlist right after finishing s2. I apologize. Please, bear with me.

Referenced lyrics to songs in order of appearance:
The Story of Us (TV), You're Losing Me, Death By A Thousand Cuts, Haunted (TV), Foolish One (TV, From the Vault), My Tears Ricochet, Getaway Car

~oOo~oOo~oOo~

The Bentley's door closed behind him with a dull sound, and for the first time, it didn't feel comforting to sit in his beloved car.

He wasn't driving to the bookshop to see Aziraphale. He wasn't picking Aziraphale up to go to dinner. Aziraphale would never sit in the passenger seat again.

He started the car, let the familiar rumbling of the engine fill his ears and reverberate through his body. It didn't drown out his raging mind, it didn't soothe his aching heart.

I used to think one day, we'd tell the story of us, the Bentley suddenly started playing.
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
And people would say 'they're the lucky ones'

What the fuck? Was that- No, surely not. It couldn't be.

Oh, a simple complication, miscommunications lead to fallout, the car went on.
So many things that I wish you knew,
so many walls up, I can't break through

Fuck. It sure was. For the first time in decades, the Bentley played anything other than Queen. And it was fucking Taylor Swift of all things.

"Yeah, you thought." Crowley smashed the off button on the radio, but the music didn't stop.

I'm starting to think one day, I'll tell the story of us
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should've held me

Okay. Fuck. That had torn uncomfortably at something in Crowley's chest that he didn't want to think too closely about.

"What the-?"

He tried the button again. Nothing.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
why are we pretending this is nothing
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud

The silence after the kiss. The silence that screamed goodbye.

The silence that meant no nightingales.

This is looking like a contest
of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

My side. Our side. Had there ever been 'our side'? Or had that been a lie he told himself?

The battle's in your hands now,
but I would lay my armour down
If you said you'd rather love than fight

Aaaaand that was quite enough of that. This had to be a joke. He tried skipping to the next song.

More Taylor. And worse. At least the first one had some decent electric guitars.

You say 'I don't understand'
and I say 'I know you don't'
We thought a cure would come through in time,
now I fear it won't

"You've gotta be kidding me."

He tried again. Same thing.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" He stared accusingly at the steering wheel, but the Bentley just kept driving, music playing undisturbed from her speakers.

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts, flashbacks waking me up
Get drunk but it's not enough, cause the morning comes and you're not my baby
I look through the windows of this love,
even though we boarded them up
Chandelier's still flickering here,
cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not