Helios. M/F, kpop AU : WEEKLY UPDATES

7. I cry a lot

I let go of Kitae's hoodie after a big sigh. He stood up from the bench.

"Do you want to tell the members that we talked? Or will you let Soobin crush you for a few minutes?"

"She won't believe me if I say it. And she won't believe it if you say it either, so just don't do it."

"Okay."

The door of the elevator opened again, and only Soobin came out of the lift, walking up to me.

"Heejin. I'm going to tell you things that I know you already know, but you're not using that information, and it's driving every single person around us crazy. If you keep up your attitude towards your coworker, you're going to ruin yourself, and I don't want you to. I'm not going to let you. I care about you, no, EVERYONE cares about you. You're a key member of Blinding and Phoenix, I can't let you do this. Please bring back the you from before. I don't understand why you're struggling so much as a member of Phoenix, and we really need to talk about it. But don't make this harder on yourself by getting on the members, the company and the public's bad side. I trust that this wasn't your intention and you want to be better, always."

"I'm sorry, Soobin. I'm just not sure anymore that I was made for this life. I don't know what I want anymore."

"Nobody was made for this life, Heejin, we choose it and train for this. I know this isn't natural. But we have to go. Before you ruin our reputation entirely, we have to patch up the mess you created."

Soobin smiled, and while I stared at the ground, she looked at Kitae too, with a weird twinkle in her eyes. It's when she creates secret plans that her playfulness comes out. She probably didn't talk to the producers about this. I thought it was cute of her.

"You too, Kitae, I will explain on the way."

Soobin was a responsible adult who was paid quite well, and, her being the leader, she had bought a car. It was a very well thought out purchase of her, and I was grateful for it now more than ever.

She started it flawlessly, and the wheels shrieked as they turned out of the parking lot on the squeeky concrete of the underground parking lot.

I covered my ears on the backseat until we were on the road. The windows were very shaded so as not to let any fans know.

"What's your plan, Soobin?" I asked her.

"Well, everybody assumes we are the most raw and real at the dorm, which is true in some aspects. The fans will take everything we say there as the truth as told from our point of view. If we stage a conversation about your behaviour there, they will believe it."

"Why not be honest about what happens?"

"I don't want to be as harsh on you as others think I should be. You misbehaving.. you've dirtied my image of a good leader, and I need to fix that because if not... well, you know that's my job. If the fans don't see me doing something big for the camera, they will wonder why you've changed your behaviour. Like... the staff have created a story where you start out as the villain and we have to have a great battle before you change your mind. We have to finish the narrative for the camera."

"Is that not the case? Aren't we battling?"

"No, we're on your team too. You have to understand that."

"Okay. So, you're going to stage a fight."

"No, yes, no. This is not fake, just calculated. This is still my strategy, I'm counting on the severity of the situation and the editors to make it all sound more harsh and direct.  I'm going to gather everyone up for a group discussion in the living room. The members are going to list things that you've done or said that aren't okay. I want everyone to tell the truth with the show in mind. When they're done, you're going to apologise. Truthfully or not. You're such a trouble-maker sometimes, Heejin."