Iceberg Meets Sunshine (Syclups #5)

TWENTY SIX

KEN

       We spent days acting and pretending like we are fine in front of lola. We tried everything in order to not trigger her while she's going through Age Regression.

Akala ko noong una ay normal lang ito para sa isang matanda na makaalala ng nakaraan, pero bawat araw na lumilipas ay lumalala ang sitwasyon. Pabata ng pabata ang memorya ni lola kaya iba't ibang klase ng sakit ang kinakaharap ni Hera bawat araw.

Spending days with her grandmother who can't even remember her hurts for sure. Tuwing gabi ay wala akong ibang magawa kundi panuorin siyang umiyak habang kini-kwento sa kuya niya sa telepono kung ano ang bagong nangyayari sa lola nila.

It sucks because i am stucked in between. I can't choose whether to comfort lola so she won't be triggered and continue acting as Benben, or comfort my love and tell lola that i am Ken, her granddaughter's future husband and her daughter, Richelle, is no longer alive.

"Hush.." pagpapatahan ko habang nasa kandongan ko siya at nakasandal sa dibdib ko. She's curled up like a fetus, sobbing quietly while hugging my arm like as if it's her energy source.

"Everything will be fine, baby. I'm here." i whispered and kissed her head.

"Ilang araw ka nang umiiyak, mahal ko.." malungkot kong wika at marahang hinaplos haplos ang likod niya. My chest is already wet because of her tears but i don't care. Ang gusto ko lang mangyari ay tumahan na siya dahil mugto na ang kanyang mga mata at paminsan minsa'y nahihirapan nang makahinga.

Madalas din kaming puyat dahil mas pinipili niyang bantayan si lola, baka sakaling magising siya sa kalagitnaan ng gabi at mas bumata ang memorya niya.

We already called nurses who will be with us to accompany and keep her in place. Minsan ay hindi niya na rin nakikilala ang bahay nilang ito kaya't sinasabi nalang naming ito ang naipundar namin, bilang Richelle at Benben.

"P-paano kung dumating 'yung araw na p-pati si Richelle at Benben ay hindi na m-makilala ni Lola? A-ano nang gagawin k-ko?" hagulhol niya at napadalas ang pagtaas baba ng dibdib.

As of that moment, i couldn't tell her anymore that everything will be fine, because what if it will not? Imagine, the only person who accompany you as you grow up, the one who stood as your mother and father, suddenly forgot everything about you? It hurts so much.

"Nandito ako, si Hero, at mga kapitbahay niyo. We will still be here kahit na hindi na tayo makilala isa isa ni lola. We will not leave her, i will never leave your side as well. Please stop overthinking na.." i whispered to her.

Kinabukasan ay tuluyan nang lumala ang sitwasyon. Hinahanap na ni lola ang limang taong gulang na anak niyang si Richelle. She keep on accusing us that we stolen her only daughter and brought her somewhere far from her.

The nurses and i tried to calm her but she only did when she was injected. Labag pa iyon sa loob ni Hera pero wala kaming ibang choice dahil maging siya ay pisikal nang sinasaktan ni lola.

"Ibalik niyo sa akin ang anak ko.." iyon ang huling wika ni lola bago siya tuluyang nilamon ng tulog.

Hera collapsed in the floor while crying and so i immediately went to her, covering her with my warm arms and comforting her.

Nakakapanghina ang makita siyang mahina.

Nasa paligid namin ang ilan sa mga kapitbahay at malapit na kaibigan ni lola at Hera pero hindi iyon naging sapat para makaramdam siya ng kasiguradohan.

"H-hera please.." my voice suddenly broke. Unti unti na ring magtubig ang mga mata ko pero pinigilan ko dahil kailangan kong magmukhang malakas para may makapitan siya. I must stand for the both of us even though it hurts.

Someone knocked at the door and heard numerous footsteps afterwards. I looked up when the room started to feel heavy and became very curious and surprise while looking at the tall figure of my father.

"What are you doing here?" i asked and secretly wiped my tears to look as intimidating as him.

He didn't answer and just ignored me. Pinanood niya si Hera hanggang sa dumapo naman ang tingin kay lola na siyang natutulog ngayon.

"I am here to help, let's go and bring her to a nursery in Manila." he said with no emotions attached to his voice.

"Wag! She will stay here, i will not give her to anyone else. I will take care of her!" agresibong sagot ni Hera na hanggang ngayon ay nakayuko pa rin at humahagolhul.

"Hera, hija, hindi naman porke dadalhin sa nursery ay ipamimigay na natin si lola. Mas maaalagaan siya doon, mas maproprotektahan at mas mababantayang maigi." pang aalo naman ng isang kapitbahay nila.

Napansin ko na ang iba sa kanila ay titig na titig sa ama ko na parang gulat na gulat silang makita siya. Maybe they know him because he owns a villa around here. Makaraan ang ilang segundo ay bigla na ring lumitaw si Hero at agad na sinamahan ako sa pagyakap sa kapatid niya.

Dahan dahan akong kumalas upang bigyan sila ng espasyong dalawa at hinarap ang tatay ko.

"We will not bring Lola to your nursery, i promised Hera to take care of her grandmother with her." i said seriously, igniting an eye contact with him to defend my woman's decision.

"Hindi namin siya dadalhin, sir Kevin. Please respect our decision." magalang na wika ni Hero sa likod habang patuloy na pinapatahan ang kapatid niya.

Napatahimik siya at ilang segundo ring hindi kumibo hanggang sa kinuha niya mula sa bulsa ang telepono. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya pero hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko rito.

"Then i will bring the nursery here." he announced and suddenly walked out while holding his phone against his ear. Napairap nalang ako at bumalik kay Hera.

She already calmed down while holding her brother's hand. Tulala na naman siya sa kawalan habang nakaharap sa kama ng lola.

"Ilang araw kabang hindi natulog, ha?" sermon ni Hero sa kanya.

"Paano mo maaalagaan si Lola kung sarili mo mismo ay hindi mo maalagaan?" he even added that triggered me.

"Hero Siduel, hindi mga sermon ang kailangan niya ngayon. If you are on her shoes, you will surely do what she did to take care of your grandmother." i seriously said.

Napatingin siya sa akin at bahagyang napayuko nang makuha niya ang gusto kong sabihin. They talked for hours and i took that chance to find my father who suddenly showed up, acting very concern out of a sudden.

Ilang minuto na akong naghahanap sa labas hanggang sa madala ako ng mga paa ko sa likod ng bahay nila. Isang lugar na hindi ko pa napupuntahan kahit na ilang beses na akong nakapasyal rito.

My foot followed the tiny sounds until it grew bigger and louder. Few more steps and i can already see his built, kneeling In front of a huge tree while bowing his head.

"R-richelle... Patawarin mo ako..."