Bad Timing | Satoru Gojo | Toji Fushiguro | Jujutsu Kaisen

Chapter 39

It seems, somewhere midst my agitated state last night, through the shock of Satoru's words, my physical pain and the sex we had, my body decided to shut down. Shut down completely. Including my head and every sense of reality within me.
And it wasn't until I absentmindedly watched the purplish grey dawn sky outside spread, then slowly change and shift to a soft, white streak of light that had crept its way from between the curtains of Satoru's room, that I had finally regained that sense. And I finally felt it downing on me, like an avalanche of frost, pressing on me and burying me down by each passing second.

He lied..

Everything was still quiet, inside his room and outside. Except for the thoughts in my head. But I don't know if that quietness should be taken as something reassuring or frightening. My quiet, the school's, Satoru's. It didn't feel right. Nothing felt right anymore.

Unconsciously, my body reacted and deflated in a deep sigh as a response to those thoughts. And I immediately felt Satoru's arm pull at me from where it was draped over my waist. Spooning my body into his.

"You're awake?" I whispered as I kept my eyes focused hazily on that streak of light.

"Yeah." His morning voice sounded deep and rough. I felt his face somewhere in my hair then his palm did a little rub over the covers, and he added. "How are you feeling?"

My shoulder only shrugged faintly, still feeling his rubs over where my bruise was. "I don't know... and I don't think I want to know."

Satoru took a deep breath, tightening his hold over me as I felt his mouth coming to the side of my face. His nose doing a little rub against my cheek. Then his mouth came to my ear. "I love you." He whispered, his soft words making my skin crawl in disgust.

I only nodded in response. And as if reading my silence, I heard his chest let out his breath in a deep sigh and he said. "It's still too early for this, please?" He pulled me tighter again, his hand reaching for one of my breasts. "Let's just have these few hours to ourselves without ruining..."

"Ruining it?" I scoffed. "There's nothing even left to be ruined!"

"Ania, please!"

"No!" Instantly, I shrugged his hold on me, freed myself from his embrace and got out of the bed. The room felt chilly against my skin and I immediately reached for my blood stained hoodie from last night.

"Here we go." He murmured, laying his body flat over the mattress and rubbing his hands over his face as he blew out his lungs. The sheets were barely covering half of his body.

"You don't get to fucking act like this, Satoru! Not after how you fucking..."

"How I lied?" He looked at me, his deep voice getting sharper and eyes locking with mine. "Yes, I lied. And guess what, baby, you lied too. So we both lied, we both fucked up!"

An unhumorous laugh escaped my chest and I shook my head, wrapping my arms around my body. "Oh, wow! Is this how it is now? We both lied? Satoru, does that make things better? Or does it make you feel good about the shit you've done?"

"No!" He pushed himself up and sat over the bed, his eyes still too tired. "But you also don't get to act like a saint, Ania!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I arched a brow at him.

"You know exactly what it means." He kept staring at me, daringly, as I stared back. My teeth pressing hard in my mouth to suppress the growing rage in my body.